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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23313850">Lidocaine and Palm Trees.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddyharrie/pseuds/daddyharrie'>daddyharrie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, Divorcee Louis, Eventual Smut, Kinda slowburn but not really, Light Dom/sub, Location Manager Louis, Los Angeles, M/M, Masturbation, Original Character(s), POV Harry Styles, POV Louis Tomlinson, Pornstar Harry Styles, Rimming, slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:02:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,653</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23313850</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddyharrie/pseuds/daddyharrie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.</p><p>Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.</p><p>Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.</p><p>A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.</p><p>Loosely inspired by Frank Ocean's "Novacane", my curiosity for the behind-the-scenes of porn, and J.R. Verlin's "Between The Sheets."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>470</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Wall-to-wall.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been wanting to write a pornstar Harry AU for years now, and it wasn't until last year when I finally replotted the whole thing and actually started writing. Google was my best friend during the writing process and I did some research but don't take anything said here as 100% factual.</p><p>I want to clarify this fic doesn't delve into the gritty aspects of the porn industry at all. Also, this fic heavily features Louis' sister Fizzy as a side character. </p><p>Throughout the process I reached out for help to beta this mess several times, I want to thank Austin, Kory, Vera and Britt for taking the time to read this and give me feedback and I take all the responsibility for any mistakes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Harry's hair was gelled and combed back, his teeth brushed and breath minty, his cock rested confined and restrained by a tight pair of jeans.</p><p>He didn’t knock on the door before he barged into the bedroom, shoulders squared out, steps sure, face determined.</p><p>The first thing he saw was the bed, full-size mattress with brand new sheets, the dark red duvet crumpled at the foot of it. There were two men making out on top, the sound of tongues and lips almost ridiculously loud and exaggerated.</p><p>“What the fuck?” Harry exclaimed.</p><p>Both heads snapped in his direction and comically widened their eyes. Harry cleared his throat to avoid laughing. He was supposed to be furious, after all, his boyfriend laid on top of another guy.</p><p>“Harry, you- you told me you weren't coming until eight. This isn't what it looks like, Fred was just- he was just-” Ryan stuttered while he detangled himself from Fred.</p><p>“Oh, I can see what he was <em>just</em>.” Harry glanced at Fred. “I wanted to surprise you, that's why I came home early. And this, this is what I get?”</p><p>“Harry-” Ryan began.</p><p>“You,” Harry pointed one finger at Fred, “get the fuck out of my house.”</p><p>Fred scrambled for his clothes on the floor and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind himself. Harry didn’t turn back to look. He kept his eyes trained on Ryan, who began crawling on the bed towards him, slow and sensual with his ass raised up.</p><p>Ryan came to a stop and got off the bed to stand right in front of Harry. In this position, their size difference was apparent. With Ryan being 5’6 and of small built, narrow shoulders --there was a term for people that looked like him in this industry; spinner-- while Harry stood at 6'1 and had a prominent broad back.</p><p>“Harry,” Ryan looked up at him and licked his lips. He smelt like toothpaste. He was a pretty guy, with soft features, plushy lips, and bright green eyes. “I'm sorry, baby. We weren't doing anything. Besides, you know I'd never replace you. You know I'm all yours.”</p><p>“Is that right, baby?” Harry grabbed Ryan's chin and nudged a thumb on his lips till it slipped inside Ryan's mouth, who started sucking it gently, looking up at Harry with coy eyes. “You'll need to prove to me you're really mine,” Harry proceeded to put a hand on top of Ryan's head.</p><p>Ryan went to get on his knees quickly. Not wasting any time, Ryan unzipped Harry's jeans and took out his cock, which was still rock hard. He gave it a couple of appreciative tugs while marveling at the size, Harry’s dick was flushed and looked enormous in Ryan’s hand.</p><p>“Suck,” Harry commanded, placing a firm hand in the back of Ryan’s head and pushing until the other guy opened up his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Cut,” Dan shouted.</p><p>Harry lent Ryan a hand and helped him stand up since he could barely see with semen dripping from his eyelashes, squinting one eye.</p><p>Nina, the production assistant, rushed over to them with a box of baby wipes and two robes.</p><p>“Thanks,” both Harry and Ryan said.</p><p>Ryan started wiping his face while Harry slipped on his robe.</p><p>“Nina, could you get me some paracetamol and two bottles of water, please,” Harry said.</p><p>“Yeah, of course.”</p><p>“After all of those positions, I know my lower back will kill me in the morning, ” Harry smiled.</p><p>Ryan chuckled. Harry knew he was new in the business, barely 22 years old with only two other studio films.</p><p>Ryan continued to wipe his hands from any remnants of lube, spit or cum.</p><p>“You should definitely take a shower before you leave the set, just a little bit of advice. I once skipped it cause I was too tired and I went straight home. It took me a month to get rid of the lube stains from my car seats and I also had to throw out my favorite pair of jeans.”</p><p>Ryan laughed and relaxed his stance a little.</p><p>Nina came back and handed each of them a cup of water. Harry swallowed the pill and both downed their bottles.</p><p>“Is there anything else I can get you?” Nina asked Harry.</p><p>“Oh, no. I'm fine, Nina.” Harry spared a glance at Ryan, who had his arms crossed. “Ryan, you must be starving. You want anything?”</p><p>Ryan looked taken aback but nodded. “I'm a little hungry, I guess.”</p><p>“We've got a catering service. The cheeseburgers are good. Nina, can you go with him to get some food? Thank you."</p><p>The place where they shot at was a big, modern mansion in La Costa. No one had ever lived in it, it was used primarily for shooting movies or other types of films. It had been modified so directors could film scenes easily, certain walls had been torn down, furniture had been bought and a couple of rooms had been adapted to serve as editing rooms.</p><p>The bathroom located in the main room upstairs remained unmodified. It was also the one reserved only for the actors, spacious and with great water pressure.</p><p>Harry took a quick but thorough shower. He brushed his teeth, again. After dressing himself in some loose jeans and a T-shirt, he said goodbye to everyone on set.</p><p>By the time he was in his car heading out, the sky was amber-colored, with the sun about to set.</p><p> </p><p>Niall already sat at a booth when Harry entered the restaurant. He put down the menu when he spotted Harry and stood up to greet him with a bone-crushing hug.</p><p>“You made it!” Niall said. “I thought you had bailed on me on the last minute.”</p><p>“Sorry, the shoot took longer than I anticipated and I wasn't about to come without taking a shower first,” Harry sat across from Niall and grabbed the menu placed in front of him. “Besides, when have I bailed on you?”</p><p>“Remember when I invited you to that party in Malibu?”</p><p>“That was ages ago and you knew I was sore from filming that foursome. Plus, it would've taken me so many hours to get there, it was practically on the other side of where I was.”</p><p>Niall shrugged. “I'm just saying.” A beat went by and Niall chuckled.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I always find it so funny the way you say things. ‘I was sore from having a foursome’ like it was such a tedious job.”</p><p>“Here we go again.”</p><p>“I’m not judging, I'm just saying it sounds funny. Anyway, what are you going to order?”</p><p>Harry glanced at the menu. Niall had picked the place this time, a popular restaurant that was both a burger joint and a butcher shop.</p><p>It was fancy but not too fancy for Harry to feel out of place in his washed-out jeans and T-shirt. There were several people around them but the air remained comfortable and quiet, with soft jazz music playing in the background, the sound of cutlery and conversation, and the dimmed, warm lighting.</p><p>“I don't know,” Harry said. The cobb salad didn't sound bad, but the lamb burger with avocado and a side of sweet potato fries sounded even better.</p><p>“My friend told me the beef tartare was incredible, so.”</p><p>They placed their orders, Niall sat back and took a sip from his beer.</p><p>“So, how was work today?”</p><p>Harry groaned. “It was all right. Tiring, I think. Dan made us reshoot numerous times, said he wanted us to look as realistic as possible. So it took us two more hours than we'd originally planned. My co-star, though, he- uhm.”</p><p>“Was an asshole?”</p><p>Harry shook his head. “No, no, nothing like that. He was actually very professional, and dare I say, not that bad of an actor. Even though the script was shit. But he was so young.”</p><p>The waiter arrived with their orders, he set down three plates on the table that looked so aesthetically pleasing, Harry had to resist the urge to take a picture just upload it to his Instagram.</p><p>“Damn,” Harry said, looking at the crisp, golden-colored bun and colorful ingredients.</p><p>“I know,” Niall said behind a mouthful. “Cindy recommended this place to me. She told me they had the best burgers in the city and that I had to try it out.”</p><p>Harry took a bite out of his own burger and moaned.</p><p>“So, your co-star…?”</p><p>“Right. He was great, but also quite young and clearly new.”</p><p>“Really? How old was he?”</p><p>“Twenty-two.”</p><p>“Oh, that's not so young. You were about that age, too. When you started. Right?”</p><p>Harry nodded. “Yeah.” An image of Ryan's flushed, youthful face came to his mind, bringing an uneasy feeling. Did Harry look like that when he had joined the industry? Whenever he met actors younger than him he couldn’t help but wonder what had led them there in the first place. Sometimes he asked.</p><p>"What about you? How was work?"</p><p>"Eh. It was fine. This lady cheated on her husband, the husband asked for a divorce, there was no prenup. Pretty standard. I spent all night revising the case, didn't go to bed until three."</p><p>Harry winced, he was used to hearing stories about Niall slaving away because of his job. "Damn."</p><p>Niall shrugged. "But it's fine. It's great, actually. Much better than waiting tables, right?"</p><p>Harry hummed in agreement.</p><p> </p><p>Niall asked the waiter for the check. He patted his stomach and looked at Harry with blissed-out eyes.</p><p>“I really hope you don’t have a shoot tomorrow after all the fries and onion rings you ate. I feel bad for whoever is gonna be your co-star if you do.”</p><p>Harry snorted. He finished the last of his mojito and chewed on a mint leaf. “I have no shoots tomorrow, don’t worry. Got an interview with GQ next week, though.”</p><p>“Oooh, fancy.”</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>“Do you reckon I could get a nice sum of money if I tried selling your unwashed towel online?”</p><p>Harry shook his head, a smile crept on his face.</p><p>“I’m serious. Or maybe a shirt? Or toothbrush, I don’t know. I’m surprised we didn’t get approached by anyone tonight, no big fans. Did you know you have like seven different fan pages on Twitter?”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>It had started with Louis feeling nauseous early in the morning, followed by a migraine. He had shoved two ibuprofens into his mouth and gulped them down with a venti black coffee, thinking it was probably his lack of sleep from the night before. Or the last couple of nights. Or the fact that he had only eaten cold pizza rolls for the past couple of weeks.</p><p>He had been in a meeting with Greta Gerwig when it happened. They had been in the middle of deciding if L.A. was the ideal place to shoot her next movie --a coming of age that featured horny teenagers on beaches with great sunsets-- or if they should move the location to somewhere more exotic, like Costa Rica.</p><p>On the one hand, if they decided to shoot outside of the country, it would mean less paparazzi. But it also meant higher costs, since they'd have to move all of their equipment overseas plus pay for the actors’ flights and their stay at some five-star hotel.</p><p>Her face had started to turn blurry all of a sudden, the room started spinning. He felt chills creeping up his skin.</p><p>The last thing he remembered was Greta shouting for help before it all went black.</p><p> </p><p>Louis woke up to the pungent smell of iodoform and an IV stuck to his arm.</p><p>Low blood pressure, or hypotension as the doctor had called it. That’s how he had ended up at the ER, with a very moody Liam frowning at him.</p><p>“Can’t believe I fainted. I thought that shit only happened in Disney movies.” Louis said, his throat was dry. The side of his head was sore, Louis started to palm his forehead to check for a bump. </p><p>Liam continued to stare him down, mouth set in a hard line. Louis sighed, “How are you mad at me? Didn’t you hear I fainted? a ‘happy you’re alright, Tommo’ would be nice.”</p><p>Liam shook his head. “The doctor said it was mainly dehydration, the reason why you fainted. Your pressure lowered and you probably didn’t notice the symptoms.”</p><p>Louis nodded. A silence followed.</p><p>“You scared the shit out of me,” Liam said. Louis swallowed. He’d never heard Liam talk like that.</p><p>“It’s all right,” Louis waved. “ I’ll be sure to carry a water bottle with me, next time.”</p><p>“It’s not all right, Louis. I knew something like this would happen, sooner or later your bad habits would catch up with you and I’d have to call 911.” Liam looked up at the ceiling. “You’re lucky Greta was quick, or you’d have a concussion from hitting that big head of yours on the floor.” Liam's hair was messy, probably because he kept running his hands through it. His black dress shirt was rumpled and half untucked. “You can’t keep living like this.”</p><p>“Like what?” Louis huffed out.</p><p>“Like, like- living on cold pizza and coffee. Staying up all night working, swallowing pills like they’ll solve all of your problems and keeping yourself busy so as to not listen to your body." Liam took a deep breath. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror, lately?”</p><p>“Ouch,”</p><p>Liam ignored him. “I’ve never seen you so tired, so worn down. And it’s all because-”</p><p>“Don’t say it,” Louis gritted his teeth.</p><p>“-it’s all because of that shithead, Bradley.”</p><p>Liam had promised no to bring it up again. Louis was seconds away from snatching the IV from his vein and storming out of the room. “You f-”</p><p>“It’s true and you know it.” Liam’s eyes didn't waver. “-and I thought after a couple of months you’d go back to normal but it’s been almost two years, Louis.”</p><p>Louis kept his jaw so tight he thought he might break his teeth, or at least pull a muscle.</p><p>Liam sighed. “I told Richard you’re indisposed for the next couple of months and I’m taking charge of picking the locations for the projects of the next three months.”</p><p>“Wha- Liam, what the fuck?”</p><p>“I’ve already spoken to Greta. Was easy to sway her after she witnessed you nearly cracking your skull open in the office. Talked to HR, too. So you could take a couple of months off.”</p><p>Louis sputtered, “Wha- To do what, exactly?”</p><p>“Take care of yourself. Get your shit together. God, I don’t know. But something’s gotta change.”</p><p> </p><p>After Louis had gotten cleared from the hospital, he changed into the tracksuit that Liam had brought him and Liam drove them to Louis’ home. Louis rested his face on the glass and watched the cars drive by, the sun was about to set and the sky was a mixture of purples and oranges. Some poppy song was playing on the radio.</p><p>Louis’ legs still felt weak when he got out of the car. The doctor had been strict about needing to rest and prioritize good nutrition and lots of ingesting water. Louis was sure Liam would hover around him for at least the next couple weeks, to make sure he followed the doctor’s instructions. He'd be lucky if Liam didn't insist on staying the night at his place.</p><p>Although, when he thought about it, it didn't sound all that bad. The house he lived in was too big for only one person, it made Louis feel lonelier than usual. It had a pool, three bedrooms with a bathroom each, and a dining room big enough to host a dinner for twenty. The walls were tall with big windows and it made the place naturally chilly. The decoration was nonexistent, and most of the walls were painted plain white.</p><p>When Louis went to unlock the door, it was already open.</p><p>His heart skipped a beat. He pushed the door slowly while he held his breath and then he saw a tall, slim figure with long straight hair.</p><p>“You called my sister?” Louis hissed. Liam didn't wait for Louis to move out of the way to step into the house.</p><p>“Oh, honey,” Liam said into his ear. “I called all of your sisters.”</p><p>At the sound of Louis’ voice, Clifford ran in his direction, ears flopping in the air. Louis closed the door and bent down to pet Clifford, cooing at him.</p><p>When Felicité hung up her phone and walked towards them with a big smile. She hugged Liam first, squeezing him with force. Then, she fixed Louis with a cold stare.</p><p>“Fizzy, hi. When did you arrive? Weren't you in New York?” Louis said.</p><p>“Booked a flight as soon as Liam called." She said through gritted teeth. "I've only been here for fifteen minutes and in that time, I've managed to throw out three empty pizza boxes.” Louis winced. Most of Louis’ siblings looked alike, but Felicité had inherited 99% of their mother's face. From her golden-brown hair to the shape of her mouth and eyebrows, to the icy stare she made when she was angry.</p><p>Louis almost felt like he was back being six years old, getting scolded by his mom for leaving mud marks all over the kitchen floor.</p><p>Felicité rolled her eyes and then wrapped him up in her slender arms, squeezing at Louis’ sides and resting her head on his shoulder. “God, Louis. You really gave us a scare.”</p><p>Louis sighed into her hair. It felt good being embraced. Her smell was comforting and familiar, her skin was soft and warm.“It was nothing, love.” Louis’ voice broke on the last syllable, he cleared his throat. “Just fainted a little, that’s all.”</p><p>“The doctor said it was due to low blood pressure, probably caused by insomnia and stress.” Liam supplied.</p><p>Louis sent him a death glare.</p><p>“We're all worried about you, Lou. You haven't been- your best lately. I mean, look at this place.” She gestured around her. “Do you know what cleaning services are? And your fridge- all I found was a half-empty bottle of vodka and a carton of expired milk.”</p><p>“Alright, I've been a tad busy,” Louis admitted.</p><p>“You haven't called any of us in six months.”</p><p>Louis cringed, he hadn't realized it had been that long.</p><p>Felicité shook her head. “Anyway, the twins are in the middle of midterms and Lottie is in Tokyo for work, so I'm the one that gets to do this,”</p><p>Louis looked around. “...Do what?”</p><p>Felicité exchanged glances with Liam. “Help you get your life together,”</p><p>Louis didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry at how absurd it sounded. Was this really an intervention?</p><p>“As if I'm a child? Felicité, may I remind you who changed your diapers while mum was busy?”</p><p>“We've already made up our minds.” Felicité said. Liam nodded. “We tried letting you get back on your feet on your own, see if you could do it. It's been more than a year and you just seem to be getting worse, so now we're stepping in.”</p><p>Louis stood frozen in place with a gaping mouth. The words hitting him harder than he expected.</p><p>“So, what are we having for dinner?” Felicité said after some seconds, the cheer back in her voice. </p><p> </p><p>Liam ordered take out from a place that only had “healthy” options. Louis had three bites out of his veggie wrap before deciding he wasn't hungry. They watched some Breaking Bad episodes on Louis’ living room while Felicité questioned Liam about work, since Louis wasn’t feeling chatty.</p><p>When the clock hit 10, Liam hugged Felicité and Louis goodbye. An hour later, Felicité excused herself to one of the guest rooms, tired from the impromptu flight.</p><p>Louis wasn't sleepy, only tired from the whirlwind that had been his day. He went to his room, laid on his unmade king-size bed and scrolled through Netflix on his 105 inches Samsung TV. He started a Peaky Blinders episode then realized he wasn't paying attention and decided to see what was on cable.</p><p>After skipping twenty channels in a row, he settled for a teen drama show, with subpar dialogue but a good looking cast. He was surprised to see it featured one of his favorite actors from when he was young.</p><p>Chad Michael Murray had changed a bit since the One Tree Hill days, but he was still fine as ever. Louis didn't understand anything that was happening on the show but he still watched the entire episode, out of curiosity only, obviously.</p><p>After the episode was over, Louis looked down at his slightly tented sweatpants, his body still remembered the nights when he was sixteen, covers pulled up to his face, searching for shirtless pics of CMM.</p><p>Louis sighed, he debated searching for his bottle of lube but didn’t want to move. He ended up jacking himself off to a mediocre orgasm and fell asleep while CNN played on the TV.</p><p> </p><p>The day after, Felicité called the cleaning service and they both went to the nearest Walmart to buy groceries, since Louis’ refrigerator only contained two bottles of Stella Artois beer, a can of Red Bull and a half-full jug of milk. His kitchen cabinets were empty except for two boxes of cereal, cocoa puffs, and cinnamon toast crunch.</p><p>Louis watched as Felicité dumped quinoa and oatmeal on top of a pile of vegetables, two packages of full-grain bread, rice, and beans. Then she continued pushing the cart down the meat aisle.</p><p>“When did you even become a health freak. I watched you have fries for breakfast just a few years ago.” Louis said, speeding his steps.</p><p>“Michael got me into it, you can't live with a health freak and not have it rub off on you, a little.”</p><p>“How is he?” Louis had completely forgotten about Michael.</p><p>“He’s fine, work’s been good.” Felicité grabbed a package of chicken breasts, salmon and lean beef.</p><p>Louis felt as if they were stocking up for the winter with how much food they were buying, which was dumb since winter never really hit L.A.</p><p>“Is he still doing YouTube?”</p><p>Felicité nodded. “Yes, we’re even planning on getting out his own work-out clothing brand.”</p><p>It was easy to follow Felicité's advice, for the most part. On the next days, Louis had started to drink more water, he ate the food Felicité bought for him and stayed off caffeine and alcohol.</p><p>Felicité wasn’t satisfied enough.</p><p>On Monday, she told him to get dressed in some comfortable clothes and to get in the car. </p><p>Louis remained inside the car and looked at the building incredulously.</p><p>"Go on," Felicité grinned, patting him on the thigh. “I gotta take care of some things, I'll pick you up in an hour and a half. Have fun!” she barely waited for Louis to get out before she took off.</p><p>Louis spent some minutes debating going to the nearest mall instead. But his sister had already paid for him to attend this dumb yoga class and she'd be mad if Louis didn't actually go. So, he took a deep breath in and reminded himself of all the bullshit he'd heard of yoga by some of his colleagues; ‘it will heal your mind, body and spirit' and he walked to the door.</p><p>The studio was on the second floor, it looked exactly how he'd had pictured it. Spacious, with long windows that let the sun stream inside, wooden floors and a sweet candle smell. A pile of little foam cubes sat at one corner of the room, along with rolled-up yoga mats of different colors.</p><p>People were already inside, on their mats stretching out, the class consisted of mostly white women in their thirties. The instructor hadn’t arrived yet, apparently. Louis stood by the door, not knowing what to do next. Someone bumped into Louis as they entered in haste.</p><p>“God, I’m sorry,” A woman with long black hair and brown skin grabbed onto Louis’ shoulder to steady herself.</p><p>Louis shrugged it off with a smile, “It’s all right.”</p><p>“Sorry I’m late, guys,” She addressed the class while putting her curly hair into a bun. “I had to drive Amy to the hospital. She’s fine, don’t worry. Just a little heartburn. Pregnancy is a pain in the ass, you know.” She placed a mat in the front middle of the room and sat down cross-legged. She fiddled with her phone and ambiance music started playing. “Okay, I want you all sitting long and tall,” she began in a melodic voice. “-and we’ll begin today’s practice with our palms pressing together at the center of our chests, we take a deep breath in and-” She peered at Louis. “Honey, why are you standing there, are you new?” Louis nodded. “C’mon, grab a mat, they’re near- yeah, there. What’s your name?”</p><p>“Louis.”</p><p>“Hi, Louis. You can call me Amara. We’re pleased to have you. Okay, from the beginning, I want you all with your back straight, palms pressed together, bring them up to your chest.”</p><p>Louis tried to focus on Amara’s voice and follow her directions. He breathed in and out, stretched out his neck when she said so, his back and shoulders.</p><p>The coordinated breathing of the people around him, along with Amara’s soothing voice was lulling him. He moved into Warrior Pose with ease, then Chair Pose, then Tree Pose. Louis found himself amused when he realized he was stronger and more equilibrated than he had expected. Sweat had started to gather at the base of his neck, and his thighs had started to burn a little but he felt comfortable.</p><p>Then Amara said, “Okay guys, it's Tuesday so, grab a partner.”</p><p>Louis watched as people surrounding him moved to sit in couples. They were all smiling at each other as they partnered up while Louis remained in his corner.</p><p>“Louis, we’re usually an even number but you can work with my usual partner today. Don’t worry, hon.” Just as Amara said that- a tall, dark-haired guy walked up to Louis.</p><p>“Hi,” He said in the deepest voice Louis had ever heard, extending out a big hand. “I’m Harry.”</p><p>“Harry is one of the best, Louis. You're in good hands.” Anna said.</p><p>Louis blinked. He shook Harry’s hand and tried not to fixate on how Harry’s hand just completely swallowed his own. He suddenly regretted not having showered in the morning. His hair was a mess, and the shirt he was wearing was one of his rattiest.</p><p>“We’ll start with a seated twist,” Anna said to the class.</p><p>“I have no idea what that means.” Louis said.</p><p>“Oh, that’s us sitting back to back,” Harry said. Louis nodded and sat with his back touching Harry’s, or part of. “then twist a little and put your hand on my knee- the left one. Yeah.” Harry placed his own gigantic hand on Louis’ knee.</p><p>“Inhale, exhale. Allow yourself to relax.” Amara’s words echoed. But Louis couldn’t. Not when a guy who looked like the personification of Louis’ wet dreams had a hand on his knee, warmth seeping through the cloth of his sweats. It had been way too long since the last time a stranger had touched him.</p><p>“So, first class?” Harry murmured.</p><p>“Yup. First yoga class ever. Never thought I’d be here. I’m completely lost.”</p><p>“Oh, it’s not that hard. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just gotta memorize some of the poses.”</p><p>“There you go,” Amara said. “Next, we’ll move into Assisted Fish Pose.”</p><p>“Assisted what?” Louis said. “How do we-?”</p><p>“Okay, It’s easier if I’m on the bottom for this one, since I’m bigger.” Harry said. Louis blinked, unsure of how to react to that phrase. On any other circumstance, he would have laughed, maybe crack a joke like <em>'I'd rather you be the top'</em> but he was too astounded to do that now.</p><p>Harry proceeded to lay back on the mat, with his knees lifted up. “Now, lay your back on top of my knees.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Harry laughed a little. “Yeah, like how the others are doing."</p><p>Louis looked around and with hesitation, he moved into the pose. Resting his back on Harry’s knees, the back of his head nearly on top of Harry’s crotch. Louis felt himself flushing. “There you go, I’ve got you, don’t worry. I’m not gonna let you fall.” Harry grabbed Louis' arms and pulled gently. “Feel the stretch?” </p><p><em>Jesus Christ,</em> Louis thought. Was this a joke? </p><p>“Change into Forward Fold.” Amara said.</p><p>“How’s that?” Louis sat back on his heels.</p><p>“That one’s easy. Spread your legs.” Harry said. Louis thought this was getting ridiculous.</p><p>They sat facing each other, with their legs wide open, and the soles of their feet touching. “You’re gonna grab onto my forearms and pull, okay?”</p><p>Louis nodded and did as told. Harry folded forward until his face was facing down the floor.</p><p>Then was Louis’ turn. Harry didn’t hold back, pulling on Louis’ arms with force, Louis’ felt his spine being stretched like never before.</p><p>“See," Harry said. "you’re quite bendy.”</p><p>By the end of the session, Louis felt more relaxed and flexible, but definitely not less frustrated. They finished the class with some seated meditation while Amara guided them with her slow voice.</p><p>“That was fun,” Harry said. He extended his arm for Louis and helped him stand up.</p><p>“It was certainly something,” Louis said, face hot. At least he could blame it on the exercise.</p><p>Harry smiled, his pink lips were lined by light scruff. He had green eyes and short, wavy hair. He looked straight out of a runway, even in washed-out Adidas sweats and white shirt.</p><p>“Well, hope you enjoyed it even a little.” People around them started streaming out of the studio.“I gotta go, but it was a pleasure. See you.” He patted Louis’ shoulder, kissed Amara goodbye, and then he was out of the door.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>By the time Harry arrived at his place, the sun was about to set. The blinds of his large windows were always open and all of the golden light showered his countertops and furniture. He placed the grocery bags on his kitchen counter.</p><p>His phone rang with a message that read ‘be there in an hr, picking up the food with A´.</p><p>It was a Saturday, and Harry’s turn to host his friends’ monthly reunion. Host was a big word since all he had to do was provide his apartment and buy some beer.</p><p>He took a shower, dressed in an old henley and a pair of sweat shorts. He then put on some music while he tidied up the place. Although, it wasn’t messy. He had only recently moved into the apartment building and hadn’t quite grown accustomed to it. It was a lot bigger than any other place Harry had ever lived in.</p><p>He decided to unbox some stuff he had stored in his spare bedroom, in case either Niall or Alexa wanted to spend the night. He'd already taken out most of his stuff, so it was mostly college books and vinyl records. A dusty leather journal caught his eye. He chuckled to himself as he flipped the pages and read some of the things he'd written, mostly anecdotes, feelings. It had been a little more than a year since the last time he had last written something. </p><p> </p><p>His friends knocked on his door hour and a half later, Niall stepped in first, carrying four bags full of take-out. Alexa right behind him. After hugging them, Harry went to get the beers from the fridge.</p><p>Four beers and six empty boxes of Mexican take-out later, they all moved to Harry's bedroom, Frank Ocean played from Harry's sound system.</p><p>"Met this gal last week," Niall began. Half-empty bottle in his hand, a slur to his voice. "Maggie, we matched on Tinder. She looked real cute, I was like- what the hell, let's go out. We went to Noshi Sushi. Turns out, she's not only cute but quite smart. She tells me she’s a dentist, just moved here. We talked until the restaurant closed, we went back to her’s-" he takes another sip of beer and closes his eyes. "The sex. It was-'</p><p>"That good?" Alexa raised a brow.</p><p>"-fantastic. I've never had that much fun with a one night stand. Fell right asleep after. When I woke up, she was already gone. She had a nice apartment, so I lounged around for a little while,"</p><p>"Wait, I feel like this story doesn't end well. Please tell me it ends well." Alexa bit her nail.</p><p>Niall scrunched his nose. "I get dressed and serve myself a cup of coffee. I scribbled my name and number on a piece of paper and leave it on her side table. I'm about to leave when I get the worst stomach cramps, I guess I had too much sushi the night before. I'm willing to hold it in until I get to my apartment but the cramps were real, and my place was like, at least one hour away. I'm like- fuck it. Go to her bathroom, take a shit, and- it doesn't flush. The fucking toilet won't flush, I clogged it.</p><p>“I panic, I don't know what to do. I don't want her to come home. I start looking around everywhere for a plunger. She doesn't have a plunger-"</p><p>"She didn't have a plunger? What the fuck?" Alexa frowned.</p><p>"Nothing. None. I panic even more. I grab my bag, decide my last resource is asking the neighbors for one. So, I get out and the door closes behind me. I realize I locked myself out. Now, I could either, a) wait at the door for her, so I can unclog it or b) leave the fuck out and forget about her,"</p><p>"So, what did you do?" Harry chimed in.</p><p>"I left. Who knows when she was coming back." he shoved a nacho into his mouth.</p><p>Alexa and Harry were laughing hard, faces flushed red.</p><p>"I don't think she'll call me," Niall said with a resigned smile on his face. "I wouldn't."</p><p>Alexa wiped a tear away. "Jesus, Niall. Some of your stories are just- they say it's hard to date in L.A. but damn."</p><p>"I know, I know," Niall shook his head.</p><p>"And what about you, H?” Alexa asked. “Are you seeing anyone at the moment?"</p><p>Harry blinked and sat up straighter, he was already falling asleep. He shook his head. "I'm not. Haven't got much time to meet new people."</p><p>"Oh, that's bullshit," Alexa said. "It's the 21st century, that's what dating apps are for."</p><p>"Haven't got any of those. Deleted all of them a year ago." Harry smiled tightly.</p><p>Niall winced. "Right, I remember now. What was his name? Brian?"</p><p>"Ugh, don't remind me." Alexa rolled her eyes. "If that had happened to me, I would also delete all my dating apps."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The air-con was in full blast inside the hotel suite, it made Harry wish he had brought a jacket with him. He wore a white dress shirt unbuttoned at the top and some washed-out jeans. It was eight in the morning and Harry had just arrived at the Beverly Wilshire hotel. Harry's eyes were still puffy and he hadn't got the chance to eat anything before coming.</p><p>Cameras and lights were being set up. After introducing himself to everybody on the crew, a woman named Paula signaled for him to have a seat while they waited for the make up artist.</p><p>"I can't believe we have to wait for this," Rafael said. He was a Dominican man that exclusively wore short-sleeved, pattern shirts from Gucci. He was also Harry’s agent. Had been for the past five years.</p><p>"Calm down," Harry said. "It's all right."</p><p>"First, they make you wake up at the crack of dawn, we drive all the way here and the make-up artist hasn't even arrived." Rafael huffed and took a sip from the glass of water he had asked for. He cringed. “This tastes like fridge, ugh. I knew we should’ve brought Nina with us.”</p><p>A woman approached them and cleared her throat. Harry waved his agent off.</p><p>"Harry?" She asked after Rafael had walked away with his phone to his ear.</p><p>"That's me. Hi, nice to meet you." He shook her hand and offered her a smile, which she returned.</p><p>First, she did his hair, going for the usual swiped back with a little product. Then she dusted some light foundation on his face and applied some balm to his lips.</p><p>"Wow," she said, while she finished fluffing up Harry's hair.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You didn't complain at all. That's a first, for a guy."</p><p>Harry chuckled and kept to himself how after years of having his balls waxed, nothing phased him anymore.</p><p> </p><p>“Harry Clark?” A young man dressed in a tailored suit approached him.</p><p>“Hello,” Harry shook the man's hand.</p><p>“I'm Jonathan, nice to meet you. I’ll be interviewing you today.”</p><p>“Great.” Harry took a seat again. It wasn't the first time he gave an interview, but GQ was on a different level.</p><p>Another man, about the same age with a Canon EOS hanging from his neck walked up. “This is Roger, he’ll be photographing you today. We were thinking- we don’t want you making any crazy poses, I’m sure you do enough of those on a daily. We just want you to look comfortable, domestic, even. Yeah?”</p><p>Harry nodded. “Is what I'm wearing alright?”</p><p>Jonathan waved him off.“Totally.”</p><p>“Really? I suddenly felt self-conscious when I saw you coming in dressed in that suit.”</p><p>Jonathan laughed. “Oh, this old thing? Some of us gotta put in a bit of effort to look decent. You could wear a plastic bag wrapped around your torso and still look straight out of a Men's Health cover.”</p><p>Harry shook his head but laughed.</p><p>The photos were nothing out of the ordinary. The majority of them were taken with the beautiful scenery of L.A.’s landscape as a background, with Harry standing in front of one of the large floor to ceiling windows, while he stared at the camera with relaxed and sultry eyes.</p><p>Some picture was taken on the suite’s sofa, the morning sun hitting Harry in the face just right, while he pretended to read a book and then staring out at the window, his shirt half opened to show off his tattoos and muscly chest.</p><p>He then changed into a robe and lounged on the king-size bed while Roger took the pictures, instructing Harry to move every now and then.</p><p>When they were satisfied with the number of pictures taken, the team showed Harry the shots on a laptop, hundreds of little squares with Harry in them.</p><p>Harry was given a glass of water and they moved to the lounge area of the suite to do the interview.</p><p>“First things first, Harry. How's it feel to be the first man to have won four GayVN awards, three for Best Performer of the Year, one for Best Newcomer, and one for Best Director.”</p><p>“Well, I'd say it's an honor. I try to put in my best effort, in everything I do, really. And for people to notice that and to like what I do, it's flattering. It's great.”</p><p>“We interviewed a couple of people that have worked with you. The camera crew, some directors and a few of your co-stars and they all had wonderful things to say about you. And I can see why now, as soon as you entered the room you introduced yourself to everybody here. I thought, man, he really is as nice as they say.”</p><p>Harry smiled, he didn’t miss the way Jonathan was eyeing him up. “Thanks, but that's just- that's just manners.”</p><p>“To quote some of your co-stars, they said you were the kindest and most professional performer in the industry.”</p><p>Harry blinked. “That's- wow, thanks. I'll have to send them a fruit basket after this or something.”</p><p>They went over the usual, how he got started in the industry, a little bit about his family, things he'd learned over the years.</p><p>“Favorite porn star?” Harry repeated the question to himself. Jonathan raised a brow. “I don't know. I don't really watch porn anymore. It's cliché to say it but it really has lost its spark since I became an actor. I used to watch lots of it when I was in high school and college.”</p><p>“Okay, so, no one?”</p><p>Harry shook his head. “Sorry, no one comes to mind.”</p><p>“That one question was linked to this next one, actually. Have you ever dated a co-star?”</p><p>“No. Never,” Harry said without even thinking the question through.</p><p>Jonathan frowned. “Why?”</p><p>“I-” Harry struggled, he didn't want to offend anyone. “I have tremendous respect for all of my co-stars and everyone in the sex industry,” he clarified, Jonathan nodded. “I'm just a really possessive partner. Nothing unhealthy, I just wouldn't be able to deal with my partner having sex with other people on the regular.”</p><p>Jonathan's frown remained. “...But-”</p><p>“I know, I know. I sound like a total hypocrite. For me, I really see this as my job and that's it. That’s not to say I don't have fun, it just means that, when the camera is on, I’m a different person. I care about the other performers but it's all business, it's work. But I know myself. I know I wouldn't be comfortable if my partner did the same thing I do.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Louis had just come back from walking Clifford. He took off the leash and led the dog to its bowl of water, petting its curly hair. Louis was sweaty, L.A. weather being no joke at 104 Fahrenheit, his hair unwashed beneath a snapback, and he was ready to have some scrambled eggs for breakfast, so he could spend all day playing video games.</p><p>There wasn’t much else he could do, after all. In the last few days he had sent Liam about twenty messages asking him how the production was going, just to be left on read. It was a Monday, so there was no yoga class, sadly. He guessed he could swim a little in his pool, but the day was too hot to do anything other than stay at home, with the AC running high and a beer in hand. Well, a glass of cold water in his case.</p><p>Felicité had spent all morning making phone calls. Louis didn’t expect it when she threw a towel at his face.</p><p>“Wha-”</p><p>“Shower. Get dressed. We’re going out.”</p><p>There was no way in hell Louis was getting up from his spot in bed. “Why? Where? I’m not getting up, fuck that.”</p><p>Felicité fixed him with a stare, arms crossed. She had cleaned up and was wearing a dress shirt with snake print and white pants. “I’ve got to meet up with someone in an hour and I’m taking you with me. C’mon, get dressed.”</p><p>“Why do I even have to go with you? Didn’t Liam and you say I needed to relax?”</p><p>Felicité sighed. “Cause I want my older brother to go with me?”</p><p>Louis stayed silent.</p><p>Felicité sat down. “Okay, okay. Maybe there’s another reason I want you to go. I’ve been making some calls- about the work-out line I told you about- and the company finally agreed to have one of their executives to meet with me. I’ve talked to the guy a couple of times, on facetime and-”</p><p>“-and?”</p><p>“He’s gorgeous, alright?” Louis rolled his eyes. “He is, Lou. He’s 32, lives here in L.A., single and I know for a fact he likes guys. I don’t know, I think it’d be great if you met him. Who knows, maybe you guys will hit it off and you can finally end your celibacy.”</p><p>Louis gaped at her. “My celibacy-”</p><p>“Yes, Louis. When was the last time you went out with a hot guy? When was the last time you fucked?”</p><p>Louis slapped a hand against his mouth. “Can’t believe my baby sister grew up to have such a dirty mouth." He shook his head.  "So disappointing.”</p><p>“Oh, shut up.” She playfully slapped his arm. “So?”</p><p>“I don’t know, Fizzy. I don’t know if I want to see someone, at the time. I don’t know if I’m ready-”</p><p>Felicité went to get her iPad and returned with a picture of the guy to show Louis.</p><p>They were out of the door in no time. Louis on the copilot seat, fixing his hair on the rearview mirror, wearing the tightest linen chinos he owned, smelling so strongly of Tom Ford’s Orchid Soleil, that Felicité rolled down the windows of his SUV.</p><p> </p><p>The hotel was located at the intersection of Wilshire Boulevard and Rodeo Drive. Louis had had countless business meetings at the same place and it never failed to amaze him with its sheer glamour and extravagance. He knew the event venues and the function rooms, and even the pool.</p><p>Felicité’s business meeting was far more casual than that. It included mimosas (sparkling water for Louis), smoked salmon with dill cream cheese, homemade pastries, fresh fruit, tofu porridge and greek yogurt with berries.</p><p>The restaurant had huge ceilings and windows that let the sun stream through and illuminate the whole place, they faced the pool lounge, colorful paintings adorned the creamy white walls and jazz music was drowned out by the sound of rich people digging into their white truffle carpaccios.</p><p>The place was packed. It was easy for Louis to lose himself in his thoughts and drown out Felicité and Mario’s voices, and since the leather booths we're so close to one another, he got to hear some gossip from the blonde milf sat behind them. She and Corey had been sleeping together for over a month now and her husband still had no idea. He was her son’s age. She had bought him a MacBook Pro after finding out he had to do his homework in his school’s library computers. He ate pussy like he wanted to die asphyxiated.</p><p>Louis tuned back into his table's conversation. Mario and Felicité had moved on from talking about the difference between nylon and lycra and were now talking about the brand’s name.</p><p>“What d’ya think, Louis?” Mario sat opposite Felicité and him. He looked just like the pictures. Tan, shiny dark hair, well-groomed beard, dark eyebrows that framed his honey-colored eyes and a smile with teeth whiter than the population of Malibu.</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Does it roll off your tongue? GymBeast?” Mario tracked the way Louis put a yogurt-covered berry into his mouth.</p><p>“I’m not sure.”</p><p>“Personally, I think it sounds way more thrilling than <em>MiFiz Sports</em>. You want people to remember the name. You have to leave an impression. Who doesn’t want to be called a beast? GymBeast is perfect. It’s aggressive, clear, straightforward. Just imagine a logo featuring -I don’t know- a lion, a gorilla, something- something that screams power. Plus, MiFiz just sounds like a venereal disease to me. Don’t you agree, Louis?”</p><p>“I have to go to the restroom, excuse me.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“How did it go, kid?”</p><p>“Don’t call me kid, I’m 27. Fine. Good. Better than Cosmopolitan, that’s for sure.”</p><p>“Well, at least Cosmopolitan didn’t have water that tastes like fridge. I’m glad it went well. And I’m 56 so that gives me the right to call you kid, kid. Anything else happen?”</p><p>Harry looked down at Jonathan’s business card, his private cell phone number scribbled on the back of it in pen. “Uh, no. Not much else. You were right, the water did taste like fridge. They’re making up for it, though. Told me I could get anything I wanted from the Pool Lounge, on their tab they said."</p><p>"Order the white truffle carpaccio. Do it for me, kid. Gotta go, enjoy." Rafael hung up.</p><p>The pool was big and Mediterranean-style, surrounded by small palm trees and pots of flowers in different sizes. There were various daybeds underneath arc-shaped roofs, with walls of jade-like stones. Harry would have been impressed by it if he hadn't just been to the Presidential Suite. There were a couple of people tanning on the crisp white lounge chairs, but no one inside the pool.</p><p>The sun was more incandescent than usual. He sat by a table near the entrance, under an umbrella to check out the menu.</p><p>He knew alcohol wouldn't be a good idea, it made him sleepy and he was already drowsy from having woken up at 5 a.m.</p><p>There was a message from Niall that read 'how'd it go, popstar?'</p><p>Another one from Alexa: 'good luck! try the white truffle carpaccio if you can.'</p><p>Harry chuckled. He wished either of them were with him. Even after years of living in L.A., he could still count the number of his close friends in one hand. Here he was, at the peak of his career, GQ interview and photoshoot and no one to share it with.</p><p>"Harry?" Someone said from behind. Harry didn't expect to run into any fans this early in the day or at the hotel. He wasn't in the mood, he had a headache, was tired, sweaty and hot (not in a good way) and the last thing he wanted to do was chat with an enthusiastic person who wouldn't stop bombarding him with questions and then ask him for a dozen photos.</p><p>He held in his exhale and prepared to smile. He knew it only took one time of being cold to a fan, for everyone to start calling him a conceited asshole.</p><p>His fake grin fell off when he saw Louis, the guy from last time's yoga class. He had a cigarette in one hand, sunglasses atop his head, and he looked sleeker than most people in the hotel in body-hugging, creamy-white pants.</p><p>Harry's eyes did not bulge out. Or he hoped so. He had noticed Louis's attractiveness during yoga, it was impossible not to, with his big blue eyes, cheekbones, and small frame. Physically, he was everything Harry liked in a guy. But that was easier to ignore when he was wearing loose-fitting basketball shorts, not skin tight chinos.</p><p>"Louis."</p><p>"You remember me." Louis' face lit up.</p><p>"Of course I remember you." Harry waved him over. "Yoga newbie and my partner in class. What are you doing here?"</p><p>Louis moved closer to the table, to guard himself against the sun under the umbrella. "My sister had a business meeting, a business brunch? Something like that. And you?"</p><p>"Uh, a work thing. Nothing important." Harry pocketed Jonathan’s card, not taking his eyes off Louis.</p><p>"Really? What is it that you do?"</p><p>"I'm a- an actor." of sorts.</p><p>"Oh, wow." Louis perked up. "Somewhere I know you from?"</p><p>Harry doubted he did. "I don't think so. Only been in small indie films."</p><p>"Huh.” Louis rested his hands on his hips, it brought attention to his small waist. “That makes sense. I really only watch the movies I work in."</p><p>"Oh, so you are…?"</p><p>"I'm a location manager. My company does mainly big-budget movies, so maybe that's why I don't recognize you. Although, I'm kinda taking a break, at the moment. Long story, but yeah."</p><p>A waiter came by to pick Harry’s order.</p><p>"I should probably leave you to eat in peace." Louis started walking backward. "You probably want to be by yourself, I'm sorry."</p><p>"No, wait. Louis. It's fine. I'd actually enjoy the company."</p><p>Louis grinned. His cheeks and nose were red from the sun, it made his blue eyes pop. "Okay."</p><p> </p><p>"What is that?" Louis pointed at one of the plates after the waiter had left.</p><p>"Oh, that's uh, white truffle carpaccio."</p><p>Louis frowned. "Does it taste good?"</p><p>Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I've actually never had it. But some friends kept insisting I ordered it, so. Do you want to try it?"</p><p>Harry handed Louis the fork. Louis picked a small bite out of it and cringed.</p><p>"Not for me," Louis said wiping his tongue with a napkin.</p><p>Harry laughed. "It's the most expensive thing on the menu."</p><p>"Yeah, well. I'd much rather have some eggs and bacon than that."</p><p>Harry took a bite. The carpaccio had a particular taste he had never tried before. Musky, vaguely like garlic.</p><p>"So, what is it that location managers do, exactly? You get to pick the sites where the movie is shot, right?" Harry remembered learning a little about them in uni.</p><p>"I mean, we basically get to do everything to prepare the film sites. We do the research, get the access, manage the crew, make sure is all within the budget." Louis took a sip from the glass of water he had ordered.</p><p>"I had heard of location managers before, but just had a vague idea of their job. Sounds really cool. You do all of that by yourself?"</p><p>"No, not at all. Imagine that, I would've already died from stress if that was the case. No, I've got a friend- Liam. We're both head managers, and we got a small group of people that help us out, too."</p><p>Harry nodded and swallowed a bite of scrambled eggs. "You get to travel a lot?"</p><p>Louis nodded. "A bit. Yeah."</p><p>"Damn, that sounds like a lot of fun. Should've been a location manager."</p><p>Louis smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "It's not as good as you think. Traveling. You get tired of hotel rooms pretty quickly."</p><p>"So, why are you taking a break?"</p><p>Louis hesitated. "A couple of weeks ago, I fainted while at work and they had to rush me to the hospital. Nothing serious, just low blood pressure. But the doctor said I had some early signs of anemia and that I had to change my bad habits."</p><p>"Oh, that's. I'm glad you're okay. So, is that why you decided to-"</p><p>Louis's phone started ringing, he held one finger up. "What's up, Fizzy?" his eyes darted to Harry. "By the pool lounge. He left, already? Okay, I'll be right there." Louis smiled apologetically. "It's my sis. I need to go. Sorry."</p><p>Harry nodded. "Yeah, of course. Don't apologize. It was really nice talking to you."</p><p>Louis fixed his fringe. He didn't seem like he wanted to leave, glancing at the entrance and then back at Harry before pocketing his phone. "I'll see you on Wednesday, yeah?"</p><p>Harry smiled. "Definitely. We're yoga partners, right?"</p><p>"Right." Louis smiled one last time, before walking away. Harry couldn't stop his eyes from sweeping over Louis’ retreating figure, inevitably landing on his arse. Harry shook his head and turned to look at the pool. Definitely his type, then.</p><p> </p><p>Harry’s mornings usually went the same, every day. He woke up at six a.m. and went for a run, at seven he returned to his apartment and did forty minutes of weight training in his (humble) home gym. He took a thorough shower while listening to music, got dressed, ate a light breakfast -fruit or toast- before leaving his apartment, always with a full backpack that contained all the belongings he might need during the day while he was shooting.</p><p>That morning was no different, but the shoot was. Rafael had explained the general idea of the gig to him two weeks ago, saying his co-star was someone he had worked with before but didn’t say any names. Harry hadn’t shot a BDSM scene in months, and even if most of the time he did scenes that featured him being dominant, it wasn’t the same.</p><p>Not only did the set take more preparation; cleaning all the surfaces and furniture, making sure all the instruments (rope, canes, floggers) and toys were washed or new. He also had to be in the right mindset.</p><p>He had turned off notifications on his phone. It was a one hour drive to the filming place. Harry spent the time listening to his relaxing playlist, trying to clear his mind, focusing solely on what he would do during the scene while Nina Simone's <em>Pastel Blues</em> played in the car.</p><p>When Harry arrived to the set, he said hi to the crew, before going straight to the director and his co-star.</p><p>As soon as Anthony saw him, his face lit up, he stood up and hugged Harry. Harry politely patted his back then turned to Mark, the director, for instructions.</p><p>Mark explained the shoot to them. The scene would start with Anthony snooping around in the empty dungeon after Harry had told him not to go into the room, Harry would then find Anthony and decide to punish him for disobeying him. Bondage, flogging, face fucking, actual fucking and finish it off with Harry shooting his load in Anthony’s face.</p><p>Next, it was time for Harry and Anthony to discuss safe words, limits and catch up while the camera crew prepared. Mark left them alone.</p><p>“How’s Jake?” Harry glanced down at Anthony’s hand, searching for a ring in his finger.</p><p>“He’s good, happy. A little tired, maybe, since he’s been the one taking care of Sandy while I work.” Harry admired them for being able to separate work from their relationship. Although, Anthony rarely shot scenes anymore. He had moved on to directing and being behind the cameras instead, a common transition for most actors.</p><p>“Oh, she’s how old now?”</p><p>“Fourteen months.”</p><p>Harry’s eyes widened. “Fourteen months, already?”</p><p>Anthony nodded, his face glowing with happiness. “She’s a little blessing. A menace, just like his dad,” he winked at Harry.</p><p> </p><p>"What about you, sweetheart, is there a boyfriend I should know about?" Anthony murmured after the camera flash went off.</p><p>They were now in the middle of shooting the stills. Anthony laid bare naked on Harry's lap, face down. Harry still dressed, holding a riding crop.</p><p>Mark signaled them to change positions, now with Anthony's arms tied up above his head, Harry staring down at him with a hand around his neck.</p><p>"Not really, no," Harry replied.</p><p>"You still have that no sex on the first date rule?" Anthony rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Maybe that's why you're still single. You've got all these twinks wanting to get in your bed and you just won't let them." After a minute, he tacked on. "Maybe it's a good idea you're single. Certainly makes this job easier."</p><p>After they were done shooting the stills, they cleaned themselves up with baby wipes and got dressed, ready to start filming the actual scenes.</p><p>"Is your safe word still apple? It's been a while since we shot together. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you in a way you don’t want to be hurt." Harry was buttoning up his shirt. "Any new limits I should know about, maybe?"</p><p>Anthony finished zipping up his pants and walked closer to Harry. He shooed Harry’s hands away and started fixing Harry’s collar. "As for limits, they’re the same as always. And how could you ever hurt me? You're the best dom a boy could have. Asides from my hubby, of course. Why do you think I agreed to doing this shoot?" He gave Harry two gentle slaps on the cheek before walking away, grinning.</p><p>The shoot ended up taking more time than they had expected. Something was wrong with the lighting and they couldn't start filming. Harry and Anthony had to distract themselves around the set while the crew fixed the problem.</p><p>"Remember that one shoot we had at the beach? Years ago." Anthony said from where he was lying down on the sofa.</p><p>Harry looked up from his book and nodded.</p><p>"That one was fun, it looked pretty." Anthony continued. "Although it took me like three days to rid my body completely of sand."</p><p>Harry remembered that day very well. It had been within his first year of being in the industry. Anthony was friends with the director, who happened to have a house with a private beach. The shoot had been nothing elaborate, just raw chemistry and hand-held camera shots.</p><p> </p><p>The director called cut and Anthony excused himself to the restroom. Harry opted to clean as much of his body as he could using only baby wipes since the dungeon didn’t have a shower. He then changed right there in the middle of the room, while the crew took down the lights and cameras. Not wasting any time, he grabbed an old pair of sweats, a shirt, and some trainers from his backpack then folded his other clothes and stuck them in.</p><p>After that, he went to the director to collect his check.</p><p>“You know, Harry, you have a reputation for being one of the best in the business right now,” Mark said when he handed him the check. “but I’d never seen you be that passionate. The intensity in your eyes, the care behind your every action. It’s something I don’t see quite often.”</p><p>By the time Harry started his car the sun had completely set. He unlocked his phone and saw a missed reminder that read ‘6:00 pm. YOGA’. He felt exhausted. Every muscle in his body ached and all he wanted to do was take a shower and then pass away in his bed.</p><p>On his way home he called Rafael using the Bluetooth hands-free.</p><p>It ringed a couple of times before Rafael picked up. “Kid, what’s up? Shoot went good? I got a call from Mark telling me you were excellent. The real deal, he said.”</p><p>“I don’t want to work with Anthony again. Don’t book me for any more shoots with him," after an awkward silence he cleared his throat and added,  "please.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Every muscle in Louis’s body screamed in pain. From his toes to his neck. Wednesday’s yoga class had been ‘Vinyasa style’ as the instructor had said. It had been way more athletic than Louis had expected, with physically demanding postures that changed quickly and left him dumbfounded. By the end of it he was sweating so bad his hands and feet were slipping off his mat. It had distracted him from the small disappointment he felt when Harry hadn't walked through the door.</p><p>On Thursday, Felicité had decided to drag Louis to the gym. They had done a ‘full-body workout’ that included weighted squats, lunges, pull-ups and push-ups. Right now Louis couldn’t move a finger without groaning in agony.</p><p>He technically had yoga again today at six, but nothing could convince him to go. Not even a fit lad with dimples that sometimes didn’t show up.</p><p>“I can’t go with you and Liam tonight, I’m afraid.” Felicité handed Louis the popcorn.</p><p>“Why?” Louis said around a mouthful of butterless popcorn, it kind of tasted like cardboard. Over the past days, he'd found that was the case with most of the clean version of snacks that existed.</p><p>“Got a meeting with Mario, again. We’re gonna discuss the marketing and stuff.” Felicité plopped down beside him.</p><p>“Huh,” Louis didn't take his eyes off the movie, he had always enjoyed watching Chris Pine.</p><p>“He asked if you were coming," Felicité said.  "You know, he must have really liked you, asking about you after you practically fled from him on Monday.”</p><p>“I did not flee.” Louis turned to frown at her.</p><p>Felicité laughed. “Lou, c’mon. He kept asking your opinion on things and you had to lie and say you were going to the restroom.”</p><p>“Yeah, well. I just wasn’t feeling any type of connection." Louis shrugged. "Plus, you guys kept talking about shit I don’t know about.”</p><p>Felicité giggled. “It’s alright. He is not all that great, anyway. A bit self-centered.”</p><p>After some minutes of watching cowboy Chris Pine do a bad rendition of a Texan accent, Felicité grabbed the remote. “Isn’t there anything else on T.V.?” she started skipping channels till she landed on E!. “It’s been a while since I’ve watched E! News, they always crack me up with their bullshit, though.”</p><p>The “reporters” on the show were talking about Kim K’s latest scandal, something about having registered their newborn’s name so that no one else could use it. Louis chuckled at how absurd it sounded.</p><p>“-and speaking of loved up couples, actor Bradley Caesar was seen hand in hand with his new boyfriend, Tyler Johnson, strolling around the streets of San Diego.” A picture of said couple appeared. Louis tensed, it had been a while since he last had seen Brad. “The couple is rumored to have started dating six months ago, while they worked together in the movie Long Red Road. Tyler is curent-”</p><p>Felicité changed the channel, the image on the T.V. suddenly of puppies wandering a garden on Animal Planet.</p><p>Louis exhaled, it came off shakier than he wanted.</p><p>“Guess it was a good decision to stop watching E! News, then,” Felicité said, voice laced with barely contained anger.</p><p>Louis swallowed. From the corner of his eye, he saw Felicité turn to check on him, brows pulled together.</p><p>“You want to talk about it?”</p><p>Louis smacked his lips together. “Nope.”</p><p>Felicité sighed.</p><p> </p><p>Bottega Louie was an Italian restaurant in Downtown L.A.</p><p>Louis liked it for its salted caramel macarons, and because the place was massive and you didn’t have to make reservations. He was also quite fond of its name.</p><p>Louis was sipping on a ‘Desert Rose’ (Loft and Bear artisanal vodka with pear and lemon juice). Technically, alcohol was off-limits. But after having seen his ex-husband happily saunter around with his new and much younger boyfriend, he guessed he got a pass tonight.</p><p>“We’ve decided we’ll film it in L.A. Greta really wanted to shoot in this small town called Tamarindo in Costa Rica, but the main actor said something about not being able to travel so far away since he’s still working for this other show.” Liam bit into his arugula salad. Why even come to an Italian restaurant if he’s gonna order salad? “I think the show is called Teen Mosquitoes? or something like that. Anyways, we had to call the trip off.”</p><p>“Bummer.” Louis said, cheek resting on his hand while he dragged half of his lasagna around the plate. He had been excited to have a cheat meal early this morning but he had lost his appetite.</p><p>“You should’ve seen Luke’s face when I told him you were on a break," Liam laughed.  "I thought he was gonna cry.”</p><p>“Hmm,”</p><p>“Louis, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“Huh?” Louis looked up from his plate.</p><p>“You’ve been down all night," Liam said. "I thought you’d enjoy coming here tonight.”</p><p>Louis looked down at the table, words bubbled up his throat. “Did you know Brad’s new boyfriend is an actor?”</p><p>Liam blinked his big brown eyes at him then shook his head.</p><p>“His name is Tyler Johnson, he’s eleven years younger than Brad.” Louis let his fork clatter to the plate, hunger banished. He hoped the restaurant let him take home the leftovers. “I know this because I met him once on set two years ago when Bradley was working in the production of Lethal Liars.”</p><p>A silence followed. Louis glanced around, at the tables with happy couples surrounding him. Bradley and he had been one of them not too long ago.</p><p>“What are you saying, Lou?" Liam leaned in closer. "Do you think he cheated on you?”</p><p>Louis shrugged. “It’d make sense.”</p><p>“That goddamn piece of shit,” Liam growled.</p><p>They asked for the check not long after and Liam drove Louis home.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><br/>Tiki-Ti was a tropical drink bar in Sunset Boulevard. It wasn’t a restaurant, but Niall hadn’t complained when Harry had told him where they were going.</p><p>Harry was sipping on a ‘Tiki Gold’ (lime juice and rum), while Niall drank a ‘Tiki Kapu’ (vodka and banana juice). The bar was small and dimly lit, only twelve stools and a handful of tables. Beto, a co-star had recommended it to him months ago, saying it had the most unique drinks he had ever tried.</p><p>“Wait, he gave you his number?” Niall gaped.</p><p>Harry nodded. They were on a far off corner, Harry’s chair reclined on the wall. “He wrote it down on the back of his card and slipped it into my hand.”</p><p>“So, are you gonna call him?” Niall asked.</p><p>Harry pictured Jonathan in his mind. He was hot. Tall, slender, nice beard. He had whispered into Harry’s ear to call him if he ever wanted to have a bit of fun.</p><p>“No," he shook his head.  "I don’t think I will. I like it when people invite me out in a less- how do I say this? It just didn’t seem like what he wanted was to wine and dine me, you know what I mean? More like he wanted me to fuck his brains out and then be out of the door before he woke up.”</p><p>Niall sighed and rolled his eyes. “Right. You and your weird rules, again.”</p><p>Harry scowled. “They’re not weird.”</p><p>“Yeah, they are." Niall reclined back on his chair. "No other guy in his late twenties in L.A. refuses one night stands. I mean- you get the sex without the responsibilities. Who doesn’t want that?”</p><p>“I don’t." Harry shrugged. "Having meaningless sex is literally what I do for a living.” Harry stared at a girl a couple of tables away trying to light a cigarette. The bartender walked up to her and told her that she couldn’t smoke inside.</p><p>Louis popped into his mind. Harry had waited for him to show up on Friday’s yoga class but to no avail.</p><p>What if he never showed up again? After the talk they had had in Wilshire, Harry had beaten himself over for not having asked for Louis’s number. He remembered the way Louis had wiped his tongue after having tried the carpaccio. It had been adorable.</p><p>“Anyways, speaking of sex," Niall said. "You sent me a message, saying you saw Anthony again?”</p><p>Harry sobered up. “Uh, yeah. Turns out the BDSM scene was with him. Rafael forgot to tell me about it.”</p><p>Niall winced.“Why didn’t you backtrack, though?”</p><p>Harry shrugged. “They were going to pay me $1500. And I didn’t want to cause a fuss, so.”</p><p>Niall looked thoughtful.“He still married?”</p><p>“Yeah." Harry ran a hand through his hair. "I don’t- I don’t really wanna talk about him. Can we change the subject?”</p><p>“Sure," Niall said. "I finally asked Cindy out for dinner,” he said with a proud grin, popping a cherry into his mouth.</p><p>“Cindy, the partner from your firm? You dog.” Harry nudged his knee.</p><p>“Well," Niall tapped his fingers on the table. "She basically asked me first but I said I’d take her to Nobu next week.”</p><p>“Nobu?" Harry laughed. "And how the hell are you gonna get a reservation?”</p><p>“Actually," Niall began. "I told a guy that works there that if he got me a table I’d give him your autograph.”</p><p>Harry nearly spit his drink. “You did what?”</p><p>Niall erupted in laughter.</p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Centerfold.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What do you think?" Felicité showed Louis pictures of sportswear prototypes on her iPad. She flipped through images of leggings, shorts, sports bras, tank tops, and more. All in different colors and designs. </p><p>Louis swallowed a spoonful of cereal. It was still morning and they were having breakfast on Louis's kitchen table. </p><p>"They look good. Really nice. I really like the black and yellow tracksuit. Are those all of the designs?" Clifford kept nudging Louis's thigh with its muzzle, so Louis fed him a cocoa puff.</p><p>"Yeah, so far this is the entire line. Once it starts selling, we can make more designs." Felicité locked the screen of the iPad. Her lock screen was a picture of Michael carrying Felicité on his back, both of them young and smiling, in their own world. "I was thinking we should go to the movies later. I really want to see the new Richard Madden movie. I'm not sure what it's about but it looks interesting. Bloody."</p><p>"Later?"</p><p>"Yeah, like around five?" Felicité sat down in front of him.</p><p>"Felicité, I can't. It's Wednesday." Felicité fixed him with confused eyes. "I've got yoga."</p><p>Felicité raised her brows. "You're going to pass up an opportunity of seeing Richard Madden on the big screen to go to yoga? Wow. And Liam said it'd be hard to change you."</p><p>Louis scoffed. He thought about mentioning Harry and how he was just as hunky as Richard Madden but decided not to.</p><p>"You want more coffee?" Felicité asked, already standing up from the table.</p><p> </p><p>Louis rushed up the stairs of the building, a brand new, hot pink yoga mat rolled up under his arm. He was already ten minutes late to class. This time he had thought it’d be a good idea to put a little more effort into his appearance before stepping out of the house, which had taken him more time than he expected. Louis had showered with his Dior Sauvage shower gel --which Lottie had gifted him last year and was almost entirely full--, air-dried his hair, and even put on Tom Ford hydrating lip balm. He wore his newly bought grey joggers from Lululemon and a tight white shirt.  </p><p>He opened the door and found no one inside the room, just empty wood floors and the faint sound of harp music. For a fleeting second, Louis thought he had mistaken the room or maybe he had arrived earlier than he thought?</p><p>Upon closer examination, he realized the room wasn't entirely empty. At the center laid a pastel pink mat where Harry was stretching. Shirtless.</p><p>"Um," Louis cleared his throat.</p><p>“Oh, Louis,” Harry blinked his eyes open. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>Harry sounded genuinely curious and it disconcerted Louis. Didn’t they have yoga class? Was Louis missing something?</p><p>“Uh, I came to- I thought- where’s everyone?” Louis glanced back, in case someone was behind him. But it was just Harry and him.</p><p>Harry grabbed his phone and the harp music stopped. “Class was canceled this week. Amara’s wife gave birth this morning, she messaged the group chat hours ago. It’s a girl,” he said the last part with a huge smile on his face. “You didn’t see?” </p><p>“Uh, I didn’t know there was a group chat?”</p><p>“Oh,”</p><p>“Yeah,” Louis touched the back of his neck. Felicité must have already driven away. He would have to call her to pick him up, or take a cab since Felicité told him she would be going to the cinema to catch up with a friend. He had been excited about today’s class. Yoga always left him feeling relaxed and content, he never slept better. “Guess I’ll go then if there’s not going to be class.” Louis gave Harry a tight-lipped smile and made for the entrance.</p><p>“Wait, Louis,” Harry said. </p><p>Louis turned around. Harry walked up to him, barefoot, bare-chested, wearing only a pair of pace breaker shorts. Louis’ averted his gaze from Harry’s glistening pecs. The boy worked out, that much was clear. “Hmm?”</p><p>“I, well-” Harry smiled and inclined his head, bashful. “I could give you a yoga routine? I mean I could- teach you how to do some poses. I’m not like- a certified teacher but I’ve taken yoga classes since I was nineteen, so. I know a little bit about it. I was actually in the middle of doing some Ashtanga yoga.” </p><p>Louis froze. Was this really happening? Was this shirtless, sweaty, Adonis of a man offering to help Louis stretch out? “Um,”</p><p>“Unless you don’t want to, which, that’s totally fine. I just thought- cause I know you’re new to this, and you didn’t come last Friday but I get it if you just want to go home and-”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Harry perked up. “Yes?”</p><p>Louis held in his giggle. “Sure. It actually sounds great, cause doing yoga is the only thing that can help with my insomnia, so.”</p><p>Harry smiled. “Alright,” Louis’ eyes flickered down to Harry’s stomach tattoo. “Oh, sorry. Let me put on my shirt. Ashtanga can get pretty hot real quick.” </p><p>Louis stared at Harry’s back muscles.<em> I bet </em>he thought.</p><p>Ashtanga yoga was a style of yoga not meant for beginners. It was quick, dynamic and rigorous, with a sequence of poses that made Louis’s muscles burn and shake. </p><p>“This is the beginner's guide,” Harry said.</p><p>Louis glared at Harry from where he was trying to balance his body on one arm and one foot, the other leg and arm up in the air. “Beginners my ass.”</p><p>Harry’s mat was in front of Louis’, so it would be easier for Louis to follow his lead. It wasn’t working as well.</p><p>“Inhale, reach out and fold,” Harry said in a hushed voice, then folded over his body while standing, casting shadows on the wooden floors. The room had started to darken minutes ago, as the sky clouded. Harry had stopped doing a pose to turn on the lights.</p><p>“Exhale, foot back, and rest on hands and feet.” </p><p>Louis' arms were trembling.</p><p>“Inhale and we move on all fours to downward-facing dog,” </p><p>Louis ground his teeth and did so. Harry stopped doing the position and came closer to examine Louis. “Straighten more your legs more- yeah, that’s it.”   </p><p>“Now come down to your knees and we do child’s pose, lower your head to the floor, hands on the ground,” Harry instructed, his voice deep and slow like a lullaby.</p><p>“One last pose, come back to your feet, we’re going to do the warrior one," Harry explained. "Take a big step back with your right foot, roll your shoulders back and lift your chest, lift your arms up with your palms together.”</p><p>Louis wobbled and Harry put both firm hands on his waist. “Careful,”</p><p> </p><p>They finished the class laying on their backs, controlling their breathing while listening to Harry’s yoga playlist on his phone. Harry had moved his mat so that it was besides Louis’.</p><p>“That’s it,” Harry sat back on his mat. “Did you enjoy it?”</p><p>Louis plopped down on the floor and started rolling his mat. “You said it was gonna be easy,”</p><p>“It was easy!” Harry held out his arms in defense.</p><p>Louis chuckled. “Right,”</p><p>Harry pouted, “So, that’s a no?”</p><p>Louis shook his head. “I’m joking, Harry. It was great. Thank you.”</p><p>Harry smiled. “No problem.”</p><p>Louis went to get his phone to message Felicité. His stomach was rumbling, maybe they could drive by a taco truck on their way home. “God, I’m starving.”</p><p>“Me too, I came here straight after work, haven’t eaten in hours.” Harry put on his trainers.</p><p>“It’ll be a while for me, sadly," Louis pouted at his phone. "My sister’s got my car and she says she’s thirty minutes away, so.” Louis’ stomach growled again, this time so loudly even Harry must have heard it.</p><p>Harry snorted. “Sounds like your stomach isn’t too happy about that. Why don’t we have lunch together? I know a great Mexican place not far from here.”</p><p>Louis hesitated for a second, it had been a long time since the last time he'd gone out with someone and the idea still scared him, "Okay." </p><p> </p><p>El Cholo was a small, cozy place twenty minutes away from the yoga studio. It had brick walls and framed pictures all over the walls. Droplets of water were sliding down the windows by their booth. It had started raining while Harry drove them here. </p><p>"So, your sister is an influencer?" Harry asked, he had a little bit of salsa smeared on the corner of his lip.</p><p>“No, her boyfriend is. But they run the channel together? Like she takes care of the business side of it, the sponsorships and brand deals and all that stuff.” Louis rolled up the sleeves of Harry’s hoodie to eat his avocado-less, tortilla soup. Harry had insisted Louis wore it since the temperature had dropped and Harry always carried spare clothes in his car. </p><p>“Oh, okay. I get it." Harry nodded. "Is the channel big?”</p><p>Louis shrugged. “I'm not sure, I don’t know a lot about that stuff, but I think it has around twenty million subscribers.”</p><p>“Wow." Harry widened his eyes. "I think that’s quite the number. What’s the name of the channel? Maybe I know it.”</p><p>“Um," Louis pursed his lips. "I think it’s called Beast Workouts?”</p><p>Realization dawned on Harry. “Oh, I know. With uh- what was his name. Mike White?” Louis wasn’t sure. “Yeah. Handsome fella. He has a husky called Brandy?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Exactly.” Louis grinned, the image of Felicité with Michael and a big fluffy dog came to his mind from the few times he'd actually used Instagram.</p><p>Harry wiped his mouth and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve seen his videos. He posts a lot of videos with this tall, long-haired girl. I suppose that’s your sister Felicité?”</p><p>“I guess so, yeah.”</p><p>Harry narrowed his eyes and stroked his chin. “Now that I think about it, you do look a lot alike. You’ve both got the same pretty eyes.”</p><p>Louis tried to hold back his smile, his cheeks heat up. “Yeah, we both majored in business. I moved to L.A. and ended up becoming a location manager and she moved to New York, that’s where she met Michael. I’ve never met him in person, but she’s told me enough about him that I know he is nice. And they’re happy together and doing good so that’s all that matters to me. And you?”</p><p>“Me?” Harry asked, seemingly caught off guard. “Um, I only have one sister. Gemma. She’s a psychologist.”</p><p>“No, I meant.” Louis grinned. “What did you major in? Did you go to university for acting?”</p><p>“Oh. No, I actually moved to L.A. to study film at USC.” Harry took a sip from his beer.</p><p>“That’s funny. That’s also where B- someone I know also went there.” Louis mentally cursed himself. “And then you decided to become an actor?”</p><p>“Something like that, yeah.” Harry swallowed a big bite. "So, do you have other siblings?"</p><p>
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</p><p>Harry insisted on driving Louis back home. The ride had been mostly silent except for slow R&amp;B music playing and offhand comments that they made; the traffic was terrible, but so was public transport, etc. When Harry pulled up to his drive way, Louis went to take off the hoodie.</p><p>“Don’t take the hoodie off, Louis." Harry placed a hand on his shoulder. "It’s still raining. You can give it to me later.”</p><p>Louis glanced out of the window. The rain was still pouring down. “Okay. Thank you, Harry. For everything, really. I don’t know what I’d done today if it hadn’t been for you. I had a lot of fun.”</p><p>“I had a lot of fun, too.” Harry smiled.</p><p>“See you later, thanks again for the ride.” Louis opened the door.</p><p>“Wait, Lou,” Louis turned. “Can I get your number?" Harry asked. "So that I can add you to the group chat.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Harry couldn't stop smiling down at his phone. Louis had sent him a picture with his dog, hair wispy and sleep-puffy eyes and they were both so cute. It wasn't until the guy beside him nudged his leg that Harry looked up.</p><p>"Harry?" the nurse smiled patiently, she held a clipboard. "You can come in."</p><p>The nurse's name was Angie. She was new and only twenty-two years old. She asked Harry the standard questions and explained the process for testing before handing him a cup. She would stop going over this long process in a couple of months, just like all the nurses before her. Harry went to the restroom to pee in the cup and later handed it back to her with a grateful smile.</p><p>Then it was time to get a blood sample.</p><p>Sofia was a forty- year- old doctor of Puerto Rican descent. Upon seeing Harry, she smiled wide.</p><p>"Harry, nice to see you. How are things? Come take a seat." She patted a chair.</p><p>The clinic was a small, sketchy thing that a lot of people didn't know existed. Rafael had suggested it to him after the first time Harry shot a scene. It was perfect for Harry. </p><p>Harry took a seat and rolled up the sleeve of his left arm to expose milky white skin. Sophia went to get a needle. "Things are good. Same old. What about you?"</p><p>Sophia returned with a butterfly needle. "Fine. The other day I took Peter out to that place you recommended me. The burger joint?"</p><p>"Yeah, what did you think?" Sophia wrapped a tourniquet around Harry's arm, right above his vein.</p><p>"Hmm, it was so good. Peter loved it." Sophia inserted the needle and Harry's blood filled the testing tube. She then took the needle out and pressed an alcohol-soaked cotton to Harry's arm. "Okay, I'll go check these. Be back in 20 minutes."</p><p>Harry nodded. While he waited, he took out his phone. Louis had sent him another pic, this time it was of Clifford wearing sunglasses, he laughed out loud.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean cancel? Why?" Rafael said on the other side of the line. It sounded like he was having a hard time dealing with his kids, high-pitched voices screaming in the background.</p><p>"I tested positive for gonorrhea." Harry glanced around. He was sitting in a park bench, the sun was out, but it was still early enough for the birds to chirp. There were no people near, just a couple of women running at the other end.</p><p>"Shit. Okay, alright I'll cancel today's scene and you're sidelined for how long?"</p><p>After Sofia had told him the news, the routinary procedure followed. She injected him with antibiotics and told him to swallow a tablet. By now, he had grown accustomed to being tested every fourteen days, but as safe as they tried to be in the industry, getting a STD was a matter of ‘when’ and not ‘if’. Harry could only be grateful that the blood-tests had been the reason he found out before any painful symptoms arose.</p><p>"Sofia said to wait eight days to have sex," Harry said.</p><p>"Okay. That's fine, kid. Don't worry about it, I'll cancel all your bookings and you can have this week to rest," A girl's voice shouted '<em>dad </em>'. "I'm going, alright? Talk to you later, kid." Rafael hung up.</p><p>Most people wouldn't say they felt 'relieved' after finding out they tested positive for a STD, but Harry did. He smiled up at the sky and felt the tension leave his body in a second. Testing positive for a STD meant he was free to do anything (except for one thing) for the next few days. His body would thank him. This morning he had woken up so tired, already dreading the idea of having to film a threesome at 2 p.m.</p><p>Now he was free of responsibilities and ready to have some well- deserved time off. He debated going back home and falling back to sleep, or maybe finish writing that script that he hadn't touched in months.</p><p>He dialed a number instead.</p><p>"Hello?" A high-pitched raspy voice picked up.</p><p>"Lou, are you busy today?"</p><p> </p><p>Little Damage was a small ice cream shop in Spring Street, Downtown L.A. </p><p>Louis entered the shop and the doorbell rang above him. His hair was disheveled, cheeks pink from the sun, wearing baggy jeans and a shirt. </p><p>He looked so cute, Harry had to force himself not to do something stupid, like pinch his cheeks or kiss him breathless. </p><p>"Lou," Harry walked up to him and hugged him, foregoing any thoughts.  Louis smelt like oranges and baby shampoo. </p><p>"Hi," Louis said, voice muffled by Harry's chest. </p><p>"Hi, I'm glad you could come," Harry stopped hugging him to take a good look at Louis' face. His cheeks still held a light, rose-colored flush that complemented his tan.</p><p>"Sure," Louis looked around the place. Most of the seats were empty. "Isn't it a little early for ice cream?"</p><p>Harry shook his head, serious. He held his arms. "It's never too early for ice cream, Lou."</p><p>Louis snorted. "And here I thought you were the typical LA health nut. Alright, what do you recommend, then?" Louis looked at the flavors listed on the wall. </p><p>"The list changes every day," Harry explained. "Lucky for you, I'm a regular customer, so I've already tried most of them."</p><p>Louis ordered a buttercream ice cream cone, while Harry ordered a cone of coffee caramel. After Harry paid for both of them, ignoring Louis' complaints, they decided to walk around for a bit.</p><p>"So, why are you free today?" Louis asked.</p><p>"Uh, they canceled the shoot," Harry said. "We'll start filming next week after whatever the problem is; gets fixed." <em>Not technically a lie,</em> Harry thought. "And what better way to celebrate time off than with ice cream?"</p><p>"I hated getting time off," Louis laughed. "The company had to force me to go on a vacation, every year. To the point they told the security guards not to let me into my office while I was on a break, it was so funny." Louis took another bite out of his ice cream and hummed pleased.</p><p>"Is it good?" Harry tried not to stare at Louis licking his cream drenched fingers.</p><p>He hadn't wanked that morning, because he knew he had a shoot and now he was regretting it.</p><p>"Really good. Tastes like cinnamon toast crunch, hmm." Louis moaned.</p><p>"Oh my God," someone said from behind. Harry turned around already knowing what to expect and sure enough, a guy in his early twenties approached them with a gaping mouth, he barely acknowledged Louis. "Are you Harry Clark? <em>The</em> Harry Clark, oh my. Jeff's never gonna believe me. Can I- I just, my friends and I love watching you so much, oh my God. It would mean the world to me if we took a photo together,"</p><p>Harry spared a glance at Louis, who stood uncomfortably while watching the ordeal. Harry tried not to wince. "Sure,"</p><p>"Great," the guy said, his phone already out. "Can you take a picture of us, please?"</p><p>Louis took about ten pictures of the both of them, with Harry with his arm around the other guy's shoulders trying his best to smirk at the camera. The quicker, the better. Luckily the guy didn't stay to chat and just thanked Harry again before continuing on his way.</p><p>"Harry Clark,” Louis said slowly as if he was testing the sound of it. “Is that your real name?".</p><p>"No,” Harry said. “That’s just- that's just what I go as. My alias or something. My real name is actually Harry Styles."</p><p>"Huh, that’s also a nice name.” A beat passed, Louis said. “So, are you really a regular at the ice cream shop?"</p><p>Harry smiled, grateful for the subject change. "Yeah, definitely. When I first came to L.A. and discovered Little Damage, I was there nearly every day of the week to try a new flavor. I had to stop though, it wasn't good for my body or my pocket. I still go, but I try to limit it to twice a month." Harry remembered when he was eighteen years old and his idea of fun was getting ice cream and walking around Downtown L.A. “Actually, the hoodie I lent you the other day is from there. It was a gift after my, I don’t know, twentieth consecutive time of going there.”</p><p>Louis facepalmed. “Shit. Your hoodie. I had completely forgotten about it.”</p><p>“It’s alright. You can keep it. It looks better on you, anyway.” Harry’s mind summoned an image of Louis wearing Harry’s black hoodie that was a bit bigger on him, with sleeves that covered Louis’ hands. </p><p>Louis scrunched up his nose. “Thank you, but I still gotta give it back to you. My mom taught me not to steal.”</p><p>Harry laughed. “That’s not stealing. I said you could have it.” Louis’s face went from happy to panic in a second when he seemed like he had spotted something in the distance. Before Harry could ask, Louis, shoved him into the nearest store.</p><p>“Louis, wha-” Harry looked down at his shirt that now had a big, coffee-colored stain. Customers around them stared.</p><p>“Shit. Sorry,” Louis said when he noticed Harry’s shirt. “Sorry, I just-” Louis glanced at the street again. “I saw my ex-husband’s boyfriend and I freaked out.”</p><p>Harry paused. “Sorry, what. You saw your ex-husband’s boyfriend?”</p><p>Louis nodded. “He’s still out there, right in front of that boutique. Shit, this is why I don’t like coming to DTLA, you find everyone here.”</p><p>Harry narrowed his eyes until they landed on a young, fit guy with big aviator sunglasses. He looked like a stereotypical angeleño, even from far away. </p><p>They pretended to look around the clothing store while Louis calmed down and they waited for the guy to leave. </p><p>After 15 minutes, Harry checked outside for the guy and didn’t find him. “He’s gone,” Harry told Louis, who was currently hiding behind a clothing rack.</p><p>“Are you sure?”  Louis popped his head out.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure.”</p><p>Louis walked closer to the store’s entrance and sighed relieved when he too couldn’t see the guy. “That was close.”</p><p>Harry was- disoriented, to say the least. The ice cream on his shirt had started to dry out and it stuck to Harry’s skin in an uncomfortable way. “So, where should we go now?” Harry asked. “You hungry?”</p><p> </p><p>The nearest food place was a diner. Harry waited for the waitress to write down both of their orders and leave before he said, “So, I didn’t know you were divorced.”</p><p>Louis chuckled and looked down at the table, still visibly shaken. “It’s not exactly something I go around telling people.”</p><p>“I didn’t expect it, I mean, you’re so young,” Harry said. He didn't know Louis's exact age, but he didn't look over twenty-five. Maybe less. </p><p>“It’s a long story,” Louis looked away.</p><p>Harry extended his arm out to touch Louis’s hand, hopefully in a comforting manner. “It’s okay. I’ve got time.”</p><p>Louis had been 23 and fresh out of college when he first met Bradley. “A friend of my mom got me a job in this production company in L.A. as an assistant. Back then he was 30. I knew he was too old for me, but he was always so nice. Practically the only one who didn’t treat me like shit. And I was so alone, had just recently moved here and I didn’t know anyone. So, after some insisting on his part, I finally agreed to go out on a date with him,” Louis recounted, hugging his arms around himself. “He was- I come from a small town where I couldn’t really experiment with boys growing up and all the guys I had met in college turned out to be huge disappointments. Bradley was the first man to ever pay attention to me and make me feel appreciated, wanted. After two years of going steady, he popped the question and I barely had to think about it, even with my friends and family saying I was too young. </p><p>"We got married and bought a house in Beverly Hills. For a while, it was all good. I focused on my job, he kept doing his thing and we came home to each other every night. But then, I started getting busier. I kept getting job offers left and right, I had to stay at the office late at night filing paperwork, and I was taking business trips across the world and Bradley- he didn’t like that. Each day we talked a little less.” Louis took a sip from his coffee. “We had a huge fight one day when I told him I had to fly to Singapore and stay there for a month because of this movie. He got really mad and said I didn’t pay attention to him anymore and that all I cared about was my job. I still chose to go. </p><p>"We didn’t talk while I was away. When I returned home, I was ready to make peace, I had even bought him new clothes. I noticed all of his stuff was gone. His clothes, paintings, laptop, everything. I tried calling him a hundred times, but he’d blocked my number. A week later his lawyer was at my doorstep saying Bradley wanted a divorce.”</p><p>Harry was out of words. In his life, he had experienced heartbreak like any other man,  but none of his past experiences compared to what Louis had just told him. “Jesus, Lou.” Harry ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. My parents got divorced when I was in high school and it was really hard for all of us, so I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like when you were that young. God, he didn’t even ask for the divorce himself, had to send someone else to do it for him. What a coward.”</p><p>Louis smiled tightly, his shoulders still looked tense.</p><p>“So, the guy we saw today. He’s his new boyfriend?” Harry asked.</p><p>Louis nodded. “His name’s Tyler. He’s an actor like you. I met him on set two years ago when Bradley and I were still married. I only found out they were a thing a couple of weeks ago.”</p><p>Harry stopped to ponder.“So, do you think…”</p><p>Louis shrugged. “I don’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you for today," Louis said when he spotted the uber driving towards them.</p><p>“I don’t know if you should thank me after what happened.” Harry scoffed. He regretted having invited Louis to DTLA. If they would’ve gone somewhere else, maybe they hadn't run into his ex’s boyfriend and Louis' afternoon wouldn't have been ruined.</p><p>“But you listened to me. And that means a lot.” Harry hugged Louis and promised to make it up to him. Louis got into the car, and Harry watched the Honda Civic drive away with a smile on his face, Louis’s warmth, and scent still lingered in the air.</p><p> </p><p>Most of the time, Harry didn’t have the chance to see Niall at work. Nowadays he was always in private meetings with clients, or doing paperwork.</p><p>For the first time in years, Harry got the opportunity to see Niall shine at his job, sat in the back of the courtroom while a custody battle was settled in front of Harry’s eyes, in favor of Niall’s client.</p><p>“Sorry, man. Took longer than I thought.” Niall said, slipping off his blazer while they walked to Niall’s car.</p><p>“No worries, man.” Harry looked up from where he was smiling at his phone.</p><p>“You’re a lot chirper than usual,” Niall narrowed his eyes, getting his keys and unlocking the car. “Is this because you’re enjoying your time off, or did they give you something else instead of just antibiotics?”</p><p>Harry laughed. They both slipped onto their seats. “I’m happy I don’t have to work today and instead I can enjoy some quality time with my friend,” Harry said. “And also, I might be talking to someone.”</p><p>Niall’s mouth gaped. “Did I hear right? Is Harry Styles finally seeing someone?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Harry shook his head.</p><p>“Well, I wanna know everything. What’s his name, how did you meet, what does he do, have you gone on a proper date, am I gonna be your best man. Actually, forget the last question, I already know the answer’s yes.” </p><p>Harry groaned, his cheeks heating up. He hadn’t felt this way since he was a teenager. “His name’s Louis, we met at yoga. He’s a location manager and no, we’ve only hung out a couple times but tomorrow we’re going on a date. A <em> proper </em> date.” </p><p>“Oh, nice. Where are you taking him?” Niall tried to get a look at Harry’s phone screen while they were waiting for the light to turn green. “Do you have a picture of him? Can I see it?”</p><p>“You’re so annoying sometimes,” Harry said, already searching through his phone’s gallery. “Here.”</p><p>Niall stared at the screen, silent for a couple seconds. “He’s hairier than I thought,”</p><p>“What?” Harry looked at the picture. “That’s his dog, Clifford, you asshole.” Harry jokingly pushed Niall away and pointed at the traffic light. “Light’s green. He’s the one in the corner, with the Burberry snapback and the pretty blue eyes.”</p><p>Niall cackled. “I’m joking. He looks cute. Definitely your type.”</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?" Harry frowned. "Also, he’s divorced.”</p><p>Niall frowned. “What, how old is he? He looks really young.”</p><p>Harry pocketed his phone. “Yeah, I know. He’s twenty-eight. Married in his mid- twenties, to this actor called Bradley Caesar?”</p><p>Niall looked pensive. “Should I know who that is? Doesn’t ring any bells.”</p><p>“He was a side character in the movie Lethal Liars, the guy who always wore a hat?” Harry knew this, because minutes after he arrived at his home that day, he’d done a thorough Google research. Bradley Nicholas Caesar, born and raised in Florida, his IMDB showed 20 credits for actor, and 15 credits for director. He also looked like the Walmart version of James Marsden.</p><p>It finally dawned on Niall. “Oh, I know him. Dark wavy hair, icy blue eyes?”</p><p>Harry did not grimace. “Yeah.”</p><p>Later that day, while Niall ate his butter chicken and Harry enjoyed a plate of chickpea curry, Niall asked, “So, does he know?”</p><p>“Know what?” Harry sucked his fingers clean.</p><p>Niall glanced around;, the restaurant was half full. “You know, does he know that you act." He said. "In a specific kind of movies.”</p><p>Harry hoped Niall wouldn't bring this question up. He took a sip of his water and blew air. “No,” Harry murmured. “I told him I was an actor. Didn’t tell him what kind.”</p><p>Niall made a disapproving face but didn’t say anything else.</p><p>“I plan on telling him, okay?" Harry said. "Just want to make sure we’re going somewhere first.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Harry’s friends teasingly called him old fashioned. Harry’s mom lovingly called him ‘a romantic’. Truth was, Harry just liked treating his dates right.</p><p>At seven pm on the dot, Harry was outside Louis’s home. He was dressed in his best fitting slacks, his hair combed in a quiff, doused in Gucci Guilty perfume. </p><p>The air was warm, but comfortably so. Excitement simmered in his veins, as well as nervousness. After ringing the bell and waiting for a minute, Louis opened the door.</p><p>He always looked pretty, whether he wore sweatpants and a t-shirt, or a full-on suit. This was the first time Harry was seeing him entirely clean-shaven, hair in a fringe, tight red maroon shirt on. He looked so good Harry forgot how to speak for a second.</p><p>“Harry,” Louis smiled. “Are those for me?”</p><p>Right. Harry had bought flowers. “Uh, yeah,” he handed Louis the bouquet of orchids. Louis immediately brought them up to his face and inhaled, pleased. “They’re lovely. Thank you. Would you like to come in for a second? Just let me put these in water and we can go.”</p><p>Stepping into Louis’s home, it was clear he earned good money. The house didn’t have much decoration, but the clean white walls made it appear bigger than it was, which should’ve been impossible. The foyer was illuminated by bright white lights, the staircase, visible from where Harry stood, looked expensive and modern. On his right he caught sight of the living room, full of furniture that looked like it costed more than everything in Harry’s apartment combined; a marble chimney, glass tables, wooden floors, spotless carpets, long glass doors that faced the yard, and a pool. </p><p>Harry followed Louis into the kitchen, almost dazedly. A tall girl in a silk robe walked in. It was definitely Louis’s sister, based on the characteristic blue eyes and cheekbones. “You must be Harry,” she said, extending a hand. Her hands were soft and manicure impeccable.</p><p>“Pleasure to meet you. You’re Felicité, right?" Harry said. "Louis has told me a lot about you.”</p><p>Felicité made an amused face. “Has he? I had to pressure him into telling me anything about you.”</p><p>“Felicité, where do we keep the vases?” Louis said, still searching through the infinite number of kitchen cabinets.</p><p>Felicité rolled her eyes, still sporting a grin on her face and went to help Louis find a  vase.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Uh, let's see. The most embarrassing thing I did when I was young?" Harry racked through his brain for useful memories. Louis looked intently. "I accidentally sent a sext to my mom, once,"</p><p>Louis cackled. "No way,"</p><p>Harry winced, the embarrassment bloomed in his stomach like he was reliving the story all over again. "Yeah. At least it wasn't a nude." It seemed ironic now to say he was embarrassed about that moment still, even with hundreds of videos of him talking dirty and being bare ass naked on the web, ready to be seen by anyone with access to wifi. </p><p>"God, what did she say?" </p><p>"Um, I think she sent me a selfie saying 'wrong number' and I was scarred for life. She brought it up every Christmas dinner and everyone had a good laugh, except for me.” Their laughter was interrupted when two waiters approached them with four plates of the first-course meal, part of the seasonal tasting menu, and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.</p><p>Harry had always wanted to eat at Providence, the Michelin star seafood restaurant. He was finally in a position where he could afford it, and not sweat seeing the prices on the menu. He still wouldn’t be able to have dinner in said place on a daily basis, but given the situation, he didn’t mind paying a four-digit check by the end of the night. Especially when Louis had excitedly told him he had always wanted to come here.  </p><p>Providence was intimidating, with its high ceilings, sand-colored walls decorated with seashells, deep-blue velvet chairs, and ceiling lights shaped like nets.</p><p>Harry remembered living on a McDonald’s/ramen diet the first few years he spent in L.A. Now he was here.</p><p>The first course was ‘geoduck rocky sweet melon’, which looked more like an art piece than food. Harry almost felt bad when he took the first bite but forgot about it as soon as a litany of flavors exploded in his tongue.</p><p>“Jesus,” Louis said, going through the same experience, batting his eyelashes as he chewed, completely blissed out.</p><p>By the fifth course, ‘Santa Barbara spot prawn on sunset’, both of them were a little dizzy from the wine, and punch-drunk happy from the food.</p><p>“This might be the best thing I’ve ever eaten. In my life. Ever.” Louis said after taking a bite, sighing in contentment. Alcohol made his cheeks and lips pinker than usual, blue eyes glassy. It made him a little touchier as well, as he had been rubbing his own leg against Harry’s for quite some time now, warmth seeping through the fabric into Harry’s skin.</p><p>“What’s it like being a location manager?” Harry asked. Louis’s frown said ‘we’ve gone through this’. “No, I know what you do. But I wanna know what you like about it.”</p><p>Louis looked lost in his thoughts for a second. “Em, I don’t think we get enough credit if I’m honest with you.” He laughed, short and airy. “Film production, you know, it involves a lot of things, like the screenplay and decent acting and editing, etcetera. People don’t realize what we do is just as important. As soon as a movie gets greenlit, we’re the one’s in charge to decide where the story is gonna take place. The aesthetic, the vibe, the time period sometimes, visual things that suck you in when you’re watching a movie.” Harry nodded, he had subconsciously leaned further in to listen. </p><p>“I never expected that to be my job,” Louis said, hands folded together as he stared into an abyss.  “While I studied business, I imagined myself working a 9 to 5 boring job, always at my desk, barely having time to breathe fresh air. Now, I get to explore so many different places. Cities, and towns and continents all full of culture, and color and history. I guess that’s what I like the most.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe you didn’t even let me pay the tip,” Louis said loudly, one arm thrown around Harry's shoulder for balance, as they walked towards the entrance of his house. Stumbling just a little, Harry held Louis’ small waist tighter, afraid he’d slip.</p><p>Harry laughed. “I was the one who asked you out. It’s only fair I pay for the date. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t?” </p><p>They walked up the few stairs to the entrance,  Louis turned and rested his back on the door, he blinked up his pretty blue eyes up at Harry.</p><p>They were closer than they had ever been;  so close that Harry could perceive the smell of white wine in Louis’s breath and the warmth his body emanated. </p><p>“Okay, but next time I’m gonna be the one to invite you," Louis pressed a finger to his chest, his eyes darted to Harry's lips. "And I’m gonna pick the place and you’re gonna have to let me pay," he said with hooded eyes.</p><p>Harry leaned in until his lips almost touched the rim of Louis’s ear. He heard Louis's breath hitch, then whispered, “Alright, next time I’ll let you pay.” He gave Louis’ cheek a quick, chaste kiss. “Sleep well, Lou.”  </p><p> </p><p>Harry grinned down at his phone screen, Louis' text read '<em>see you at 6, then :)'</em>. Warmth spread through his chest. He felt giggly and excited, and just a bit nervous. It had been a week since the last time they'd gone out.</p><p>Louis had laid out the plan for him. After Harry finished working, he’d go back home and get ready, Louis would pick him up at six and they would go to OUE Skyspace, to see Los Angeles at 1,000 feet in the air, at the 70th floor of the U.S. Bank Tower.</p><p>They’d go to the interactive exhibit, enjoy a 360° view of the city in the observatory, enjoy the 45-foot glass slide, then have dinner at one of the restaurants in the building.</p><p>It sounded dreamy. Harry had visited the place a couple of times since coming to L.A. but the idea of enjoying the experience all over again with Louis was enough to get him through the day.</p><p>“Harry,” a voice said. Harry looked up and saw Zach standing in front of him, sporting a similar robe to the one Harry was wearing, only it looked a little better on him, since he was 6’3” of pure muscle.</p><p>“Zach,” Harry stood up and hugged him. “How’s it going?”</p><p>Zach was one of those people who always had a smile on their face. Impossibly kind to everyone on set, charming and professional. Harry knew this, even though he’d only worked with him a couple of times throughout his career. They were both exclusively tops, therefore they rarely ran into each other, much less shoot scenes together.</p><p>“It’s been great, man,” Zach said. He still wore his signature thick beard and mustache, his kind brown eyes were framed by bushy eyebrows. His robe revealed the hairy expanse of his chest. “Job offers keep coming, thank God. I finally moved from that shitty dorm in Silver Lake.”</p><p>Harry winced, he had once visited Silver Lake’s dorms once and they’d made him feel claustrophobic. “I’m glad to hear that,” Harry patted Zach’s shoulder.</p><p>“What about you? I was surprised when my agent told me you were still in the bizz,” Zach frowned. “Don’t get me wrong, it's cool to see you. I’d just imagined you would be doing your own thing by now, I remember you telling me years ago you wanted to work on your screenplay,”</p><p>The question caught Harry off guard. It felt like that had happened in another life. Naive, twenty-three- year- old him, telling himself porn was only momentary. <em> Just until I get my own apartment. Just until I save enough money. Just until I finish writing my screenplay. </em> That had been four years ago.</p><p>“Uh,” Harry stuttered. Thankfully, that’s when his co-stars decided to interrupt and join them.</p><p>Harry shook hands with all of them. He knew Oscar, a big burly guy that liked to wear his hair in a man-bun. Theo, he hadn’t personally met but had heard of him, a dark-skinned dude from France that liked shaving his head. And Miles, a 5’9 guy with curly blond hair known for his iconic gangbang scenes.</p><p>Filming a gangbang on the same day Harry was supposed to meet with Louis wasn’t the greatest idea. They usually took more time to film, and Harry always ended up with sore muscles after, plus it was just mentally draining. A small burst of nervousness came to him, and he shut it down immediately. Nervousness always resulted in the inability of getting hard, which then interrupted the filming process and took more time. <em> It’ll be fine </em>Harry told himself.</p><p>The idea was simple. It was Miles's nineteenth-year-old birthday --he was twenty- five in real life-- and the guys were supposed to fulfill all of his wishes which consisted of getting fucked by four guys and passed around like a rag doll.</p><p>The five of them took some time filing paperwork, and handing in their blood tests. Harry was a clean man, once again. When Oscar had told him about the scene in the morning, Harry thought about saying no, waiting until a more vanilla, easier project came around. But he was promised at least $2,000 dollars, and after last week’s dinner at Providence, he couldn’t take the privilege of turning down that money.</p><p>
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</p><p>Harry tried to hide his wince, and pretend like he was enjoying Miles’ mouth. Miles was currently blowing Harry and Theo, alternating in between their dicks while Zach pounded him from behind and Oscar jerked himself off not far away, the set was invaded by the sounds of his slick mouth and deep grunts and groans.</p><p>They were all tired by now, especially Miles, and he had stopped keeping his teeth in check. An image popped into Harry's head, that of a Sponge Bob episode, the one where he eats a bar of chocolate by grinding it with his front teeth.</p><p>Miles pulled his mouth off, “Pause,” he yelled at the cameramen, his voice fatigued. “I need to take a break.”</p><p>The P.A. rushed to him with a glass of water and a box of baby wipes, while another person from the crew approached Miles with a bottle of lube. The rest of them dispersed to different corners, with exhausted faces but still erect.</p><p>Harry drained a bottle of water someone handed to him, wiped his hand on his robe and checked his phone. It was 5:30, there was no way in hell he was gonna make it to his apartment before 8. They still had to wrap up the scene. He was a one-hour drive away from his apartment, and that was without taking into consideration the thorough, <em> thorough </em> shower he’d have to take.</p><p>“Harry, where’s Harry?” The director shouted. The guys were back in front of the cameras, ready to continue filming.</p><p>“Over here,” Harry shouted from his corner. Resigned,  he scrolled through the contacts on his phone. “Just one second.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Louis was a little bummed out. </p><p>Screw that, Louis was sad and disappointed. </p><p>He’d been all dolled up and ready to get in his car when Harry had called him. “<em>Lou, sorry for calling so late</em>,” he’d said, regret evident in his tone, other voices in the background. <em> “This shooting is taking more time than I expected and- I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to our date, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” </em></p><p>Louis had calmed him down. He’d said it was okay and that they could go out on another day. Truth was, he’d been waiting for this date for days. Planning for it. So eager to see Harry again. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time. The adrenaline of meeting with someone he liked so much it kept you awake at night.</p><p>Louis now sat by the kitchen table, pouting at his phone. What was he supposed to do now, with all his free time? He’d cleared his schedule so he could have all the time left to spend with Harry. He’d talked to Liam, called his mom, and face-timed with Lottie. He had taken Clifford for a walk around the block and, swam a little in the pool with Fizzy. </p><p>He’d spent days imagining how it would go. First, they would queue up to go down the slide, then they'd take some pictures with the amazing view as a background, and enjoyed cocktails by the observatory. There, with the city of L.A. in its full glory, the sun setting, they would kiss. </p><p>Louis hadn’t stopped thinking about kissing Harry since that night after their dinner at Providence. They had been so close. Harry’s breath fanning over his cheek, Louis closing his eyes, waiting.</p><p>Maybe it was for the best that they hadn’t kissed. Louis had been so nervous that night, he’d downed wine glass after wine glass, until he was a little less anxious and a lot tipsier than he usually got. Plus, fish breath.</p><p>Felicité entered the kitchen wearing jean-shorts over her swimming suit. She frowned when she saw Louis. “Lou, didn’t you have a date with Harry at 6?”</p><p>Louis sighed and looked at his watch. “Yeah, but. He called me, said the shooting was gonna take more time than he expected.” Louis got it, he wasn’t happy about it but he understood. He knew what it was like to work behind the cameras, and sometimes filming a scene just took more time than they all had predicted. The actors weren’t happy about it, the crew wasn't happy about it, but that was how things were. Sometimes you couldn’t do anything about it.</p><p>Felicité got herself a bottle of sparkling water from the fridge. She scanned Louis with a pondering look, the same look she got when an idea occurred to her.</p><p>“So, you’re not gonna go out today?” Felicité asked.</p><p>Louis shrugged, sulking. “I guess not. He told me he wouldn’t be home until 8 and Skyspace closes at 9.”</p><p>Felicité narrowed her eyes, the smile on her face was almost mocking. “So, why don’t you go to his place instead?”</p><p>“What?” Louis asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” Felicité leaned on the kitchen’s counter. “Not every time you guys go out has to be to this grandiose place. If you really want to go see him and spend some time with him, you can just buy some food and head to his apartment.”</p><p>Louis blinked. It sounded like a great idea plus he thought Harry would appreciate it.</p><p>“I think it’s a good idea,” Felicité said with a smug smile. “That way you’ll  stop making that sad, puppy face.”</p><p>Louis stood up and pocketed his phone. He kissed Felicités cheek, “I love you.” he said and headed to the entrance already debating what food to buy.</p><p> </p><p>Louis knocked on Harry’s door and waited. </p><p>He bounced on the soles of his feet and tried not to panic. What if Harry didn’t want him there? What if he wasn’t even home and Louis would have to return to his car looking like a dweeb with a bottle of red wine in one hand, and the other with a bag full of takeout?</p><p>Harry opened the door. His face went from confused, to shocked, to delighted in just a few seconds.</p><p>“Lou,” Harry said. He was wearing a robe and a towel rolled up on top of his head, his face was flushed. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“I thought you’d be hungry after the workday you had, so I decided to drop by,” Louis waved the bottle of wine in front of him. “Can I come in?”</p><p>“Right, yeah. Sorry. Of course.” Harry moved aside to let Louis inside and closed the door behind them. </p><p>Harry lived in an apartment building in DTLA only 40 minutes away from Louis’s home. Harry had sent the address to Louis just this morning when Louis had offered to pick him up.</p><p>“I, eh,” Harry stood awkwardly. “I wasn’t expecting- I’m glad you’re here. I’m just gonna- I just took a shower, clearly, so I’m gonna change. Uh, feel free to roam around and feel at home?” Harry rushed into a room.</p><p>Nerves were still tingling in Louis’s stomach. Maybe this had been a bad idea. He told his mind to shut up, he firstly directed himself to the kitchen to set down what he had bought.</p><p>Harry’s apartment, unlike Louis’s house, was vibrant and full of color. The walls were decorated with posters of 70’s bands and classic movies, framed pictures of Harry with what Louis guessed were family and friends, a painting of an octopus hung on the living room’s wall. By this hour the sun had already set and the apartment was illuminated by quirky shaped lamps. There were plants. So many plants of different shapes, sizes, and colors that Louis had no idea what they were called. There was a big, orange sofa, and a smaller blue one full of fluffy colorful pillows. There was a terrace behind clear sliding doors with a table and two cute chairs. </p><p>The place screamed lived in, even though it was spotless. No piles of clothes on a chair, or empty boxes of take-out on the tables. </p><p>Harry appeared from one of the rooms, his hair still wet. He had changed into a pair of grey sweats and a threadbare Nina Simone shirt.</p><p>“You brought food,” Harry glanced at the bags.</p><p>“Uh, yeah." Louis turned to look behind himself. "I know that sometimes in the middle of filming- Like sometimes I forgot to eat? And I wanted to see you, so yeah.” Louis said. “Are you mad? Should I have not come? Cause I can leave. I understand if you want to be by yourself, and you do look like you had a long day so-”</p><p>“No,” Harry shook his head, his tone of voice had changed into its usual calmness. “No, I’m so happy you came. I was just- surprised.”</p><p>Louis let out a breath and smiled.</p><p>“C’mon let me get some plates, I’m starving,” Harry moved Louis to the side with a gentle hand on the dip of his waist so he could reach the cupboard. He took out two plates and two glasses. “Work was long today, all I need right now is to sit in front of the T.V. with a glass of wine, so you’re a savior, honestly.” </p><p> </p><p>“I was a location scout for the movie,” Louis said, smugly. He popped a popcorn into his mouth.</p><p>“No way,” Harry turned to Louis with wide eyes, mid taking a sip of his wine. “You were a location scout for La La Land?” </p><p>Louis nodded his head. “Damn right I was. Yeah, that scene,” Louis pointed to Ryan Gosling playing piano. “Was shot at Burbank, the smoke house restaurant.” The scene cut to a shot of Ryan Gosling waiting in traffic. “And that was shot at the 110-115 interchange. The apartment scenes were shot in Panorama City.” </p><p>Half an hour ago, Louis and Harry had decided to move to Harry’s living room and watch a movie. They were both sated from the gourmet hamburgers they had just eaten, and were now enjoying their third glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. </p><p>“I was surprised when it didn’t win the Oscar,” Louis said.</p><p>Harry chuckled. “I think everyone was, Lou.,”</p><p>Louis laughed, remembering the shocked faces of the actors. “Yeah, you’re right. But I was happy, that they didn’t win. I thought Moonlight was much better. Certainly more original.,”</p><p>The sound system vibrated while Ryan Gosling sang City of Stars. </p><p>They had quieted down and were both staring at the flat screen, warm knees touching. Harry had turned off the lights minutes ago to appreciate the movie better, the whole apartment was dark and only illuminated by the screen.</p><p>“That scene was originally going to be shot in Santa Monica,” Louis whispered so as to not disturb the atmosphere. He was entranced by the colors on the screen, the lights shining on the pier, the buildings in the background. “Liam was the one who popped the idea of shooting in Hermosa Beach instead,” Louis turned to see Harry’s reaction, but Harry wasn’t staring at the T.V. Harry’s hooded eyes were cast on Louis, a lazy smile on his face.</p><p>Before Louis could say anything, Harry’s lips were on his. Soft and tender, merely a peck that lasted for a couple of seconds and went away just as fast.</p><p>“Sorry I- you just- looked so cute talking about the movie and-” Louis leaned in to shut Harry up.</p><p>The kiss was sweet and drawn out. Harry’s lips tasted like wine and they were so soft. Harry’s hands had come up to hold Louis’ jaw and chin, big and warm and gentle. It almost felt relieving, being kissed after years of being touch-starved. All Louis could focus on was how much he had wanted for this moment to happen, ever since he had first seen Harry.</p><p>After what felt like fifteen minutes of making out they separated. Harry’s big hands were still holding Louis’s face, Louis was holding onto Harry’s arms, smiling stupidly big. </p><p>“Louis, I gotta be completely honest with you,” Harry began, his previous smile had turned into a serious frown. He took a deep breath in.</p><p>He let go of Louis' face and looked down at his lap. Louis' fight or flight response kicked in, his stomach turned into a knot. His mind went a million miles per minute, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. Had he overstepped? Was Harry not feeling the same connection he was? </p><p>“I want you to- " Harry began, looking into Louis' eyes. "I need to know if what you want is a serious relationship cause I- I can’t do any of the casual shit, it’s just not for me. If you- I want something serious, something for real.”</p><p>Louis was astounded. He couldn’t believe this gorgeous, perfect man of his dreams was asking him to go steady. All the previous panic left him in a whiff. He giggled. </p><p>“Has anyone told you you’re a bit weird?” Louis murmured, still with a smile.</p><p>“Yeah,” Harry said, tone unsure.</p><p>“Of course I want to be with you, for real" Louis said. Harry’s face broke into a big smile and then he kissed Louis again.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Amateur.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An EDM song roared from the speakers. Blue and purple lights flashed from the ceiling. The deafening sound of people laughing, dancing, and having a good time. Louis was on his second shot of tequila, and based on the reprimanding looks her sister kept throwing his way, his last.</p><p>It was a Thursday night and Louis felt on top of the world.</p><p>A couple of weeks had passed since the night Louis had decided to go to Harry’s place. The days that followed had been blissful, not a day had gone by where Louis and Harry didn’t speak. They would hang out in Harry’s apartment, or swim in Louis’s pool, and during the weekends they would go out to any place they liked, as a couple.</p><p>“He’s here,” Felicité smiled down at her phone and walked away from their table. After a few minutes she returned, hand in hand with a tall, black, muscly guy. “Guys, this is Michael, my boyfriend.” </p><p>“Hi,” Michael said to the people at their table. There was Harry’s friend Niall with his date Cindy, Alexa with her date Max, and of course Felicité, Harry, and him. Liam had been too busy to make it, sadly.</p><p>Everyone on the table said a litany of hi’s. Louis told Harry to wait a second so he could go over and formally introduce himself to Michael. After all, this was the guy his sister had been living with for the past three years.</p><p>“Michael, we finally meet in person, I’m Louis,” Louis offered a hand. Michael ignored the hand and went for a hug instead. He was at least a head taller than Louis, with a broad back and chest and tight curly hair. </p><p>“Pleasure to meet you, Louis,” Michael said. Louis patted his back. Harry came to them and Louis introduced him.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>“You’ve met Ryan Gosling,” Niall gaped at Louis. Louis nodded.</p><p>“Man, of course he’s met Ryan Gosling. This is L.A.” Harry chided.</p><p>“Hey, I’ve also met a couple celebrities but no one near as iconic as Gosling,” Niall defended himself. After some minutes he tacked on, “Don’t act like you’re not a Gosling fan. Louis, he’s the biggest Gosling fan, I swear he once got a boner watching The Notebook,”</p><p>“That’s not true, Horan,” Harry pointed a finger at Niall, shaking with laughter, along with all the others at the table. </p><p>Louis patted Harry’s thigh. “It’s fine, honey. Understandable.”</p><p>The song changed to something more upbeat. </p><p>“I love this song,” Niall and Alexa said in unison. Alexa was already nodding her head to the rhythm.</p><p>Niall, Alexa, and her date walked to the dance floor. Harry stared at their retreating backs.</p><p>“Go dance with them,” Louis said into his ear. Harry grinned, pecked Louis on the lips and walked right behind them. The group was barely visible, but Louis could still identify their silhouettes, bopping and laughing in a circle. Harry did some weird moves that reminded Louis of his grandpa dancing.</p><p>At last, it was only him and Cindy (Niall’s date), since Michael and Felicité were lost in their own little world. </p><p>“So, for how long have you known Niall?” Louis yelled, the music was so loud it was hard to hear what others were saying unless you were right beside them, and Cindy sat across from him.</p><p>“I’ve known him for a few months now, but we’ve only recently started going out,” Cindy yelled back. She was pretty, blonde hair and brown eyes, wearing a pantsuit. “How long have you and Harry been dating?”</p><p>“Uh,” Louis didn’t know how to answer. He settled for “Not for long,”</p><p>Cindy nodded her head. “You guys must really trust each other,”</p><p>Louis nodded his head. Had he heard right? “I guess...”</p><p>“I couldn’t do it if I were you,” Cindy said and glanced at the dance floor. “I wouldn’t be able to date a porn star, I’m too jealous.”</p><p>Louis blinked. What had she just said?</p><p>Before Louis could ask her for clarification, a flushed and sweaty Niall arrived. “Come dance with us, babe.”</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>L.A.'s nightlife began earlier than in other cities, and it also ended earlier.</p><p>By two in the morning, they had all gotten into different Uber’s and gone home. Harry, as the designated driver, had driven Felicité, Michael, and Louis all the way to Beverly Hills.</p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Louis whispered into Harry’s mouth, clutching onto his shirt, half on top of Harry’s lap. Felicité and Michael had long gone to the guest room and left them alone in the living room.</p><p>Harry ran his hands down Louis’s back just shy of touching his arse. Louis closed his eyes and bit his own lip. The contact felt so good, warm and comforting. </p><p>“I wished I could, baby,” Harry said in his stupidly attractive deep voice, looking at Louis with hazy eyes. “But I’ve got work tomorrow early in the morning. Actually, today. It’s almost three.”</p><p>Louis leaned in to kiss Harry once again, this time more desperate, with tongue and teeth, pulling at Harry’s collar. </p><p>Harry pulled away and laughed at Louis’ pouting face. He pressed a thumb against Louis’ bottom lip and Louis jokingly pretend to bite it.</p><p>“C’mon, I’ll see you tomorrow after work, okay?” Harry said grinning. Without any effort, he gently grabbed Louis’ hips and placed him back on the sofa, out of his lap. “We can do whatever you want, tomorrow.”</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>Louis grabbed a pillow and pressed it against his face. He threw it against the wall. It had been weeks of him sleeping like a baby, he had been naive for thinking he had left insomnia in the past.</p><p>Cindy’s words kept repeating themselves inside Louis’s head. <em> ‘I wouldn’t be able to date a porn star’. </em></p><p>What had she meant to say? </p><p>Harry had told him he was an actor. Not a very famous one at that, but an actor nonetheless. </p><p>Louis tried to convince himself. He recalled their past conversations. Harry had never mentioned one movie he had been in, which was pretty weird for an actor. In Louis’ experience, they loved reciting their past projects like it was the Bible. Minutes went by and Louis finally gave up on sleep. </p><p>He turned on the lights and mindlessly grabbed for his laptop. He was going to put an end to his doubts.</p><p>The Google search bar came on the screen and, Louis typed in ‘Harry Styles’. A hundred results came up, but none of them had to do with porn or acting; <em> ‘Harry Styles Barbershop’, ‘ Prince Harry style throughout the years’ </em>.</p><p>Louis tapped his fingers against his lips and thought back to the day they had gone out for ice cream, a stranger had asked for a picture with Harry, but he had called him by another name.</p><p>Louis quickly deleted ‘Harry Styles’ and typed in ‘Harry Clark’, instead.</p><p>A thousand results came up. PornHub, XVideos, Macho Tube, and a bunch of other porn sites Louis had never heard of in his life.</p><p>Louis let go off his keyboard as if it had burnt him. So, it was true then. Harry had lied. He inhaled shakily and scrubbed his face.</p><p>Heart in his throat, he clicked on the first PornHub link and narrowed his eyes, bracing himself for the worst while the page loaded.</p><p>From the thumbnails, Harry Clark definitely looked like his Harry. The planes of his body, the shape of his mouth, his curly hair, and his long hands. The stomach tattoo gave it away.</p><p>Louis didn’t know how to feel. On one side, he felt betrayed. Why hadn’t Harry said anything? But there was a small part of him that understood. If Harry had kept this to himself, it must’ve been for a reason. It’s not like you could open start a conversation with <em>‘I’m a porn star’</em>.</p><p>Louis sighed. He should’ve searched for Harry’s name earlier. Should’ve been more curious about his work. After minutes of processing his emotions, he thought what the hell and clicked on the first video he saw, unsure of what to expect.</p><p>Louis remembered being eight years old when his friends had shown him an erotic magazine for the first time. He remembered being thirteen and stumbling into a channel on T.V. that streamed erotic movies. He remembered being sixteen when the internet was within reach and he had finally seen gay porn for the first time, on the old family’s computer.</p><p>Porn had just never been his thing. It looked fake. The stories were usually dumb. The actors never looked like they were actually enjoying it.  Louis much preferred using his imagination.</p><p>The video was titled <em> ‘Harry Clark jealous after finding boyfriend with another hunk’. </em>Louis sped up the video. Guttural groans and moans erupted from his speakers. Red-faced, he quickly muted the laptop and grabbed his earphones from his bedside table to plug them in.</p><p>Harry groaned as the other guy deep throated his dick. Louis was entranced by the images playing on his screen. On one hand, there was another guy sucking his boyfriend’s dick. On the other, Louis had never seen Harry’s dick and it was definitely big. Even bigger than he had expected, shiny, pink, and thick. Pretty.</p><p>Louis sped up the video again and stared open-mouthed as Harry rammed his cock into the other guy, doggy style. <em> ´You like this baby? Yeah, I know you do slut.’ </em> Louis swallowed. Harry’s deep honey-like voice basically dirty talking into his ear was definitely making him feel some kind of way.</p><p>There were 105 videos of Harry on PornHub, all ranging from sweet and vanilla to straight-up BDSM scenes, with Harry using canes, leashes, and riding crops.</p><p>Louis clicked on as many as he could, face hot and eyes wide. <em> ‘Harry Clark in Birthday Gangbang with Miles Cummings’, ‘Step bro Harry Clark eats ass’, ‘Young Harry Clark fucking Anthony Keene on the beach’, ‘Harry Clark cumpilation’. </em> </p><p>There was a certain one Louis couldn’t take his eyes away from. It was set in the jungle and it was titled ‘<em> Tarzan parody porn - the coming’. </em>In the video, Harry appeared with long, curly hair down to his shoulders, shiny tan skin, a piece of cloth barely covering his crotch.</p><p>The sex in the scene was surprisingly tender, Harry caressing the other guy’s face and kissing him while they fucked missionary style. Harry gasped out things like ‘<em> do you like that, baby? </em> ’ and <em> ‘you feel really good’ </em>.</p><p>Louis had inevitably grown hard. A couple of videos ago, he had stopped thinking clearly and the only thing he could concentrate on now was Harry’s deep voice and the need to come.</p><p>He had to stand up from the bed to search for the almost full bottle of lube he kept hidden in one of his closet drawers. Louis jumped back in bed, put on his earphones and pulled down his pajama pants.</p><p>He began palming himself, with Harry’s deep voice and moans in his ears. It was easy to close his eyes and picture it was him who Harry was talking to. <em> ‘Baby, you feel so good’. </em></p><p>Louis bit his lip and quickened his pace, squeezing his dick firmly, ‘<em> You take my cock so good, baby’. </em></p><p>After some minutes of stroking himself, Louis knew just jerking off his cock wasn’t going to be enough. He had to place the laptop in an awkward position so he could keep the earphones in while he slicked up his fingers and rubbed them against his hole.</p><p>The first finger was met with some resistance and he was reminded of how he hadn’t had sex in a starking two years.</p><p>Harry’s words <em> ‘you have such a pretty hole, baby’ </em>incited him. Louis began moving his finger in circles and imagined it was Harry’s finger instead. Louis loved Harry’s hands. They were big and long, with thick fingers that could open Louis up before ramming his even thicker cock inside. </p><p>Impatient, Louis thrust in another finger and moved them in and out. He had long stopped watching the video but the sound of skin slapping on skin and Harry’s groans were enough to keep him hard. If Harry was here, Louis thought, he’d do a better job.</p><p>Louis whimpered when he involuntarily touched his prostate. His breathing was accelerated, his forehead was sweaty, his lip was swollen from biting it while holding back moans. With his other hand, Louis reached for his cock and began stroking himself, with the new pressure on his prostate. An orgasm started building up in his stomach, his feet curled in pleasure.</p><p><em> ‘Baby, I’m gonna come’  </em> Harry groaned into his earphones, <em> ‘gonna fill your hole, baby. Leave you dripping’ </em>. Louis came, cum shot up on his belly as his whole body trembled with the aftershocks. He continued stroking his cock, gentler until the pleasure had subsided. </p><p>After that, Louis barely had the energy to turn off his laptop and clean himself with a blanket before he passed out, sated and tired.</p><p> </p>
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</p><p>Harry yawned and rubbed a hand across his eyes.</p><p>It was 9 AM and he was at a studio in San Fernando Valley. </p><p>"Kid, you look tired," Rafael patted Harry on the shoulder. "Nina, can you get the makeup artist? Harry could use some concealer."</p><p>Harry was immobile in his chair as the makeup artist got to work, drawing lines underneath Harry's eyes before blending them with a sponge.  It hadn't been a good idea to go out yesterday.</p><p>After the makeup artist left, Rafael fixed him with a look. "You're alright, kid?"</p><p>"Yeah," Harry yawned again. "Just tired, it's all."</p><p>"It's not drugs, right?" Rafael asked seriously. </p><p>Harry chuckled. "No, it's not drugs."</p><p>From the corner of his eye, Harry saw his co-star of the day enter the studio, along with what looked like his agent and assistant.</p><p>Harry hadn't worked with him before. Jonny Wilde, a 5'8, 20 years old that had become all the rage in the last year. Most searched-for gay porn actor of the moment. That's what Rafael had told him.</p><p>Harry excused himself and went straight to Jonny who was getting his hair done. Harry liked getting familiarized with his co-stars before a shoot, made him feel like he was actually having sex with a person, rather than using an object.</p><p>The hairstylist smiled when she saw Harry approach. Jonny didn't turn to look.</p><p>"Hi, Jonny, I'm Harry," Harry began. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."</p><p>Jonny scanned Harry with a disinterested look and huffed a 'hi' back. </p><p>Harry rarely met unpleasant co-stars. He was used to dealing with well mannered, humble individuals and Jonny's energy was rubbing him in all the wrong ways.</p><p>"Okay, just wanted to say hi. You look busy so I'll leave you to it." Harry said. Jonny didn't acknowledge him and Harry retreated to his chair.</p><p>He grabbed his phone and sent Louis a message, 'are you awake yet, baby? 😘'.</p><p>Last night, it had taken Harry all of his willpower to not take Louis to bed. But there was a reason he was currently considered the best in the industry, and as someone who had been working for porn studios for five years, he knew the worst thing you could do is have sex or jerk off just hours before filming a scene.</p><p>He had done it a couple of times in the past, and it always resulted in him not being able to get hard or screwing the cum shot at the end.</p><p> </p><p>Harry was on his back, the bed was soft and warm, and Jonny was riding him reverse cowboy style, wailing out like Harry had never heard before. It was easy for his mind to slip, even though Jonny was a pretty guy with his big brown eyes and curly ginger hair, being an asshole was the biggest turn off for Harry.</p><p>Something else was also plaguing Harry’s mind and that was Louis. He knew he still hadn’t been clear about what his job entailed, and guilt was eating away at him. Before Harry realized, he had become almost entirely soft and they had to stop filming.</p><p>“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jonny hissed, slipping off Harry and fixing him with a murderous stare, face flushed, and his curls sticking to his forehead.</p><p>“Not again,” complained the director.</p><p>“I need a minute,” Harry muttered. He stood up and went over to his backpack where he kept Viagra pills for back-up. He popped one into his mouth and swallowed it dry. He didn’t like using the blue pills when he was working, that’s why he made it a point to keep his health in check, but times like these merited them.</p><p>Rafael approached him. “What’s wrong, kid?. This never happened to you...”</p><p>Harry rolled his eyes. “It’s hard getting hard when I’m not attracted to rude assholes.”</p><p>“It’s almost over, Harry. They promised us three grand, I’m sure you can do it.” Rafael said.</p><p>Harry snorted darkly. Of course Rafael would think that-- he wasn’t the one who had to keep his dick hard for two continuous hours.</p><p>It took them another hour to finish shooting. When it was over, Harry couldn’t even bring himself to say goodbye to the crew or even take a shower. He swiftly cleaned himself up with baby wipes from his backpack, collected this check, got dressed, and got into his car.</p><p>He debated going over to his apartment first to take a shower and take a long nap. But if he did that, there was no way he would find the energy to then go to Louis’ house, and right now the only thing he found comfort in was seeing Louis. He could take a shower at Louis’ home.</p><p>It was a 30- minute drive from San Fernando to Beverly Hills, but because of the traffic, it took Harry 75 minutes to arrive at Louis’ house.</p><p>He was tired, sore, irritated. He hadn’t had such a bad day in months, maybe years. </p><p>He rang the bell and waited. Thankfully, he always carried all of his necessities in his backpack, and it would be easy to take a shower, change into something comfy, then take a nap with Louis in his arms.</p><p>Felicité opened the door. </p><p>“Hi, Fizzy. Can I come in?” Harry asked, trying his best to smile.</p><p>“Hi, Harry,” Felicité said, avoiding Harry’s eyes. “Louis is in the kitchen. I was on my way out, see you.” She rushed to her car and promptly drove away.</p><p>Harry frowned, then shrugged and entered the house. It was still early in the afternoon and therefore sunlight cast light on the floors. </p><p>“Baby,” Harry said as soon as he saw Louis, sitting on the kitchen table with a sobering look on his face.</p><p>“Hi, Harry,” Louis said in the least enthusiastic way possible.</p><p>Harry was a smart man and he knew this was coming, he could put two and two together.</p><p>“You know.” Was all Harry said, his smile fading.</p><p>“I know,” Louis brought a hand to his lips. </p><p>“How did you find out?”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter.”</p><p>Harry blinked. He almost wanted to cry, not out of sadness, but out of frustration. He knew this moment would come, but he had planned to be clear-headed when it did.</p><p>“I was going to tell you,” Harry said. It sounded like a lie.</p><p>Louis sighed. “Were you, Harry? Honestly?”</p><p>“Of course I was,” Harry said, his voice had come out defensive even if he hadn’t intended for it. He frowned, “I told myself I was going to wait until I got to know you better, but then I got distracted by something else."</p><p>A slow, silent minute went by. "Is it so hard to understand why I wanted to keep this to myself?” Harry looked up at the ceiling. “For a long time, as soon as I started dating someone, I would tell them straight away. I’m not ashamed of my job, but it can bring all the wrong types of attention. I had guys messaging me on Tinder saying they wanted to know what it felt like to fuck a pornstar. I had guys completely forget about manners when they found out what I did for a living.” Harry shook his head, “That’s why I stopped going on dates for a while. When I met you, I just wanted to be Harry, not <em> Harry Clark </em>. At least until I realized that this -us- was going somewhere.”</p><p>Louis stared at him. No sign of any emotion, just speechless.</p><p>Harry groaned out and ran a hand through his hair. “If you wanna end this, listen. I- I’ll understand. I should’ve told you. <em>I was</em> going to tell you. But I’m not ashamed of what I do. And, Louis, I like you- a lot. But if you’re one of those people who think sex workers are somehow lower than-”</p><p>“Harry,” Louis said. “I understand.”</p><p>Harry opened his mouth, “You do?” </p><p>Louis stood up and walked up to him. “I can imagine it’s not the easiest way to start a conversation with ‘by the way, I do porn’.”</p><p>Harry exhaled, relieved. He let his backpack drop to the floor. “You have no idea...”</p><p>Louis giggled. “It’s fine. It’s just work, right? Like having a boyfriend that’s also an actor. At least in your case, I’ll get to know when you fuck somebody else...”  </p><p>Harry’s hands moved on their own to circle behind Louis’s back. Kissing Louis was the best thing that had happened all day. Holding him in his arms, after some minutes they pulled away.</p><p>“Now that you know, I can tell you I had an awful shoot today and I’m in dire need of a shower,” Harry whispered, he rested his chin on top of Louis' head.</p><p> </p><p>Louis’s bathroom was just as luxurious as the rest of the house. Beige porcelain floors, OVE Rachel acrylic bathtub, a big squared mirror on the wall along with two sinks, clear glass doors, excellent water pressure. </p><p>Harry felt like a new man, coming out of the shower dressed in one of Louis’s spare fuzzy robes and a pair of slippers that were a bit small for him. The terrible day practically scrubbed out of him.</p><p>Louis was lounging on the bed in pajama pants and a shirt watching T.V. Harry flopped on the king-size and brought his hands behind his head.</p><p>“Can’t believe you had all those terrible experiences with guys, after telling them,” Louis said.</p><p>“I didn’t even tell you the worst one,” Harry laughed.</p><p>Louis turned the volume down and turned his whole body in his direction. "What?"</p><p>Harry took a deep breath, “So, I matched with this guy on Tinder, last year. His name was Brian. I told him straight away about what I did and he said he was okay with it. We went on a couple of dates, and they were good. He was funny and we had a good time. One day he stopped answering my texts and every time I tried calling him it went straight to voicemail.” Harry shrugged, memories of the story flashed through his mind, bringing back uncomfortable feelings. “I thought, whatever, and kept on doing my thing. Until one day, Alexa told me she had found this guy’s youtube channel. Apparently it all had been part of an experiment, one of his videos was titled ‘<em> dating a porn star for a month </em>’.</p><p>Louis covered his mouth, “What a fucking asshole.”</p><p>Harry shrugged. It was what it was. </p><p>“What the fuck,” Louis spit out. “Who does something like that?”</p><p> </p><p>Harry was going to sleep at Louis’s house. He was too tired to drive all the way to his home and Louis had already insisted on it. Michael and Felicité had gone out to Long Beach to close off a deal and it was just the two of them in the big home.</p><p>They were cuddled up together, Star Wars played on the large flat screen, Harry was beginning to fall asleep. The air-con was turned up high and they were under the covers, the sound served as a lullaby and the warm, little body he was spooning made him feel so comfortable.</p><p>“There's something I forgot to tell you, Harry,” Louis murmured. That was enough for Harry to snap his eyes open.</p><p>“What is it?” Harry rasped out.</p><p>Louis turned in his arms so that they were face to face, close enough to feel his breath on his face.</p><p>"I watched some of your videos. For research," Louis muttered, not quite meeting Harry’s eyes.</p><p>"Oh," Harry wasn't sure how he felt about that. "And what did you think?"</p><p>Louis shrugged, the faintest flush on his cheeks. "I don't know, porn's never been my thing but. I didn't know you used to have long hair..." he grabbed one short curl and gently tugged on it.</p><p>Harry smiled lazily. "Yeah, a few years ago." he brought a finger to caress Louis' lips. "You watched the Tarzan parody one, huh baby?"</p><p>Louis squirmed and hid his face in Harry's chest. "Yeah," Louis swallowed. "I also may have gotten off to it. Twice."</p><p>“Hmm,” Harry let himself picture it for a moment. Louis' sweaty, golden skin. Eyes squeezed shut. Lips bitten red. “You naughty little thing. You wanna tell me about those times?”</p><p>“Em, once in this bed. And the other, this morning in the shower,” Louis’ squirming had turned into a soft grind against Harry.</p><p>“Did you just jerk off, baby?" Harry asked into his ear. "Or did you use a couple of fingers?” Harry pecked his lips, impossible to resist. He started stroking Louis’s waist and back.</p><p>“Hmm, I used a couple of fingers. Couldn’t help it,” Louis’s grinding sped up and Harry realized-</p><p>“You’re hard, baby,” Harry rasped into Louis’ ear, his hands skimmed down to grab a handful of Louis’ wonderful arse. “Want me to do something about it?”</p><p>Louis nodded his head furiously, while he gripped Harry’s back, pulling on his shirt. “Yes.” Louis whimpered.</p><p>“Okay, baby,” Harry kneeled on the bed to take his shirt off. Louis's eyes scanned the entire expanse of his torso until they landed on his crotch, comically widening. Harry laughed smugly. It might not have been the first time someone had that reaction upon seeing his dick for the first time, even behind a layer of boxers.</p><p>Harry leaned down to cradle Louis’s face and kiss him deeply. Firstly with only his lips and then slipping a little tongue when Louis had become all languid and sweet. </p><p>“I don’t want us to do any penetrative activities tonight,” Harry whispered. “Not yet. I had a long day and I’m too tired for that, plus the first time I make love to you I want it to be perfect,” Louis nodded, both of their breaths labored. “But, since you said you took a shower this morning, how about I eat you out a little, yeah?”</p><p>Louis' shoulders became tense. Harry frowned, “Unless you don’t like that? Then we can do something else, baby, it’s fine. I just wanna make you feel good,” Harry loved eating his partners out and had never met someone that didn’t like it, but the most important thing for him was making Louis feel comfortable. </p><p>“It’s not - that I don’t like it,” Louis started, avoiding Harry’s eyes. “I just- I’ve never-”</p><p>It dawned on Harry. “You’ve never been rimmed before?” It came out a lot more judgemental than he had wanted to. Louis shut his eyes.</p><p>“Hey,” Harry caressed Louis’ face, then his shoulders, hoping to ease Louis. “It’s okay.”</p><p>“I wasn’t with a lot of guys, before Bradley," Louis explained. "And he- he didn’t like that. He said it made him uncomfortable,”</p><p>Harry held back from rolling his eyes as if Louis’ ex-husband didn’t sound like enough of an idiot. “That’s a shame,” he said squeezing Louis’s arse and making him gasp. “With an arse like this, sounds like such a waste not getting your mouth on it.” Harry stopped himself from taking off Louis’ sweats completely to look him in the eyes and make sure he still wanted this to happen. “Louis, is it okay if I take your pants off? You still want this?”</p><p>Louis was lying on his back, biting his lip, sweat had began to form on his forehead and his blue eyes were swallowed by black pupils. He looked edible, straight out of Harry’s wet dreams. Pretty boy all for him. “I do,” Louis said.</p><p>Harry slowly pulled off Louis’ pants and then his boxers. Louis’ hard pink cock slapped against his belly, already wet at the tip. Harry leaned down to kiss Louis again, he ran his hands all over his hips, and chest, and neck. He helped him take off his shirt so that he was completely naked, in all his tanned glory.</p><p>Harry began kissing down Louis’ body, first his neck, making sure to leave a few marks. Harry knew his possessiveness was not a great quality to have, but he couldn’t help it.  Louis was squirmed, whimpering little ‘<em> Harry’s </em>’ in that sweet voice of his.</p><p>“Hmm,” Harry hummed, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over Louis’ protruding collar bones and chest. He gently bit Louis' nipple and was rewarded with a high-pitched moan. Harry looked up to see his face, Louis' eyebrows pulled together and mouth open in ecstasy. Harry continued down Louis’ belly, giving special attention to his belly button.</p><p>“Harry, <em> please,</em>”</p><p>“Shhh.,” Harry calmed him down. He liked taking his time, especially because this was the first time he was seeing Louis naked. He was perfect top to bottom. It made Harry feel something warm in his chest, but also unbelievably turned on, heavy with blood behind his boxers.</p><p>Harry mouthed at Louis’ cock a little, getting familiarized with the shape and taste. Teasing the head with his tongue before wrapping his lips around it and sucking. Louis squirmed, Harry had to grab him by his hips and press him down on the bed as he blew him a little. Louis might just be the squirmiest, loudest boy Harry had ever been with.</p><p>Harry pulled his mouth off after only a couple of minutes. After all, he had promised Louis something else. He licked Louis’ balls, just to hear his breath hitch. At some point Louis’ had gone post-verbal and all he was doing was moan and whimper.</p><p>Harry grabbed the bottom of Louis’s thighs so that he could raise his legs up by behind his knees. Louis’ pink little hole was now completely exposed to his gaze. Harry had seen his fair share, but somehow this was the most enticing one and all Harry wanted to do was put his mouth on it, so he did.</p><p>Louis let out a scream when Harry first swiped his tongue over his hole. It made Harry so grateful that Fizzy and Michael weren’t home, in case Louis’ walls weren’t soundproof. Harry smiled smugly and flattened his tongue against Louis’ hole, licking slowly, the way he knew would feel the best. He licked over the perineum, then back over his hole, spurred on by Louis’ lovely sounds, taste of soap and skin.</p><p>“Is it good, baby?” Harry croaked out, trying to get a look at Louis’ face. Louis desperately nodded, while he clutched the sheets.</p><p>Harry grinned, then went down to work again, letting Louis’ legs rest on his shoulders so he could spread Louis’ arse properly. It was a shame he hadn’t thought of turning Louis around just so he could slap Louis’ arse a little.</p><p>Just when Harry had begun to stick his tongue inside, Louis gasped and his whole body went tense before relaxing back again.</p><p>Harry looked up from between Louis’ legs surprised. Louis’ belly was stricken with cum, and Louis’ face was lax and satisfied. Harry had never seen anyone come from this so quickly. It made Harry’s cock throb harder, reminding him of how neglected it was.</p><p>“You really liked that, didn’t you baby?” Harry asked, already getting rid of his boxers to take himself in his fist.</p><p>Louis looked completely out of it, slowly blinking open his eyes. He was gorgeous and Harry couldn’t believe he was his. Louis was his and he had just come from Harry’s tongue and nothing else. The thought made Harry grip his own cock harder, jacking himself off quickly, not taking his eyes off Louis. Harry came shortly after, the little cum he had spilled down his fingers.</p><p>“Hey,” Louis complained in a soft voice. “I could’ve helped you with that.” </p><p>Harry smiled lazily. He’d be surprised if Louis was even able to think clearly after the orgasm he had, his eyes were still shiny with tears and a little lost.</p><p>“Next time, baby.” Harry said. He was tired, the day finally weighing down on his shoulders, reminding him of how little sleep he had had. He was a gentleman, though, so he went to Louis’ bathroom and after brushing his teeth, he returned to the room with a wet towel in his hand.</p><p>He swiftly cleaned Louis’ belly before getting into bed to kiss a half-asleep Louis. </p><p>"There are only two conditions," Louis murmured after Harry kissed him. "You're not allowed to kiss anyone but me, and you can't call anybody else baby."</p><p> </p><p>Harry woke up to the sun shining on his face, bright and hot. He detangled himself from Louis' sleeping form and padded over to the bathroom. Memories of last night rushed to his brain. The acceptance Louis showed him. That had never happened before.</p><p>When he stepped out of the bathroom Louis was still sleeping, he looked angelic, face lax and soft surrounded by white pillows and matching covers.</p><p>He went down the stairs with an easy smile on his face. The day was beautiful and he didn't have a shoot scheduled for today. </p><p>Birds were chirping outside. After he scanned the fridge, he took out some mushrooms, four eggs, milk, and butter.</p><p>He found a coffee brewer machine and a skillet in a cabinet. </p><p>He was in the middle of beating the eggs when he heard steps on the wooden staircase.</p><p>"God, it smells good," Louis entered the kitchen in a white shirt and boxers. He walked over to Harry and peered into the stove. "Omelets?"</p><p>Harry kissed the side of his face. "Good morning,"</p><p>"I didn't know you cooked," Louis said. He opened a cupboard and took out two plates.</p><p>"Just a little," Harry shrugged, he emptied the eggs in the skillet and added some milk. "Niall and I used to wait tables at this one small diner near Franklin Ave. Whenever the cook called in sick, I took over the kitchen." </p><p>"Oh?" Louis sat down on an island chair. </p><p>"Yeah, film school isn't cheap right," Harry chuckled, he served two plates and placed them on the island. "How did you sleep?"</p><p>"Great," Louis' cheeks pinked up. He cleared his throat.</p><p>Harry squinted. "What?"</p><p>Louis shook his head. "Nothing, I'm just- a little embarrassed about last night I guess. I'm usually not that- premature. But it's been a while since the last time I had, y'know, ever since Bradley and-"</p><p>Harry frowned, "Louis," he grabbed Louis' hand. "You don't have to be embarrassed about anything with me. Last night was amazing."</p><p>Louis touched the back of his neck and looked down. "I know but, I don't want you to be disappointed by my, um, lack of experience. Especially, when, well-"</p><p>Harry shook his head. "Hey, none of that. I'd never be disappointed by that. Sex with you will be incredible because it's you. Please don't be intimidated by how many people I've been with, as far as I'm concerned they're all just coworkers and it's all just work. And I don't care that you're not experienced. Besides, you coming just from my mouth was a huge ego boost."</p><p>Louis perked up, "Really?"</p><p>Harry shrugged. "Hell yeah, that was super hot."</p><p>Louis smiled, his eyes crinkled and he blushed.</p><p>Harry cleared his throat. "Are there other things?"</p><p>Louis raised his brows questioningly.</p><p>"Are there other things you wanted to try in bed that Bradley didn't?"</p><p>"Oh," Louis widened his eyes. "Um, yeah, for sure."</p><p>Harry smiled. "I'd like a list."</p><p> </p><p>Harry prided himself in thinking he could distance his work from his personal life.</p><p>Although, if he was honest with himself, this was the first time in his life he was in a serious relationship.</p><p>There was Ricky in high school, and Tom, during his freshman year of college. But besides those two instances, he had never been able to call someone his boyfriend.</p><p>Since Harry was a kid, he had fantasized about settling down, calling someone his husband, and maybe having a couple of kids. Or five.</p><p>But most people in LA didn’t share his dream. Living in Los Angeles had only made his dating life worse. Sure, he was getting swiped right all the time, and several people he had met through work didn’t hold back from giving him their number, but ninety percent of the time these people didn’t want anything serious, either because they were too focused on their job or because they were looking for a bit of casual fun, and Harry had to learn this the painful way.</p><p>Even if most people didn’t understand, there was a big difference between having sex with someone you liked and having sex with a stranger while being mindful of which positions made for the best camera shots, careful not to come too early, taking breaks when the lube had run out, enduring uncomfortable stances because they made for the best angles.</p><p>The scene he was currently filming was nothing new, they were in the back of a van on top of a flimsy mattress. ‘<em>Young boy offers his hole in exchange for ride</em>’ would be the title or something like that. </p><p>Ryan was earnestly riding him, all hazy eyed and with a sweaty forehead.</p><p>Harry had his own hands on the back of his head while he watched, he had Ryan right there on top of him but all Harry could think about was how that morning Louis had attempted to cook breakfast for him and had ended up burning the pancakes. </p><p>They changed positions to Ryan laying face down, arse up, and Harry’s mind kept wandering. Louis had looked so cute, dressed in one of Harry’s shirts, offering a plate of burnt pancakes topped with copious amounts of whipping cream and strawberries, hoping Harry didn’t notice.</p><p>Harry’s thrust had begun to slow down on their own, but the story called for intensity. Harry made himself speed up, thrust harder, grip onto Ryan’s hips. </p><p>From this angle, Harry couldn’t see Ryan’s face, just the slope of his tanned, curved back, his soft brown hair, his arse jiggling. If Harry narrowed his eyes, he could almost pretend it was Louis. His gorgeous little Lou. They still hadn’t had sex, not like this anyway, and Harry wanted it so much, but the time just hadn’t arisen.</p><p>Harry couldn’t wait for the weekend. </p><p><em> “Daddy, harder, please.” </em> Ryan squealed. A bunch of images came to Harry’s mind, all of Louis being taken care of by him. The face he’d make when Harry was finally all the way inside, big and thick in his little hole. Louis biting the sheets while Harry plowed him from behind, hand’s firm on his hips and arse. Louis on his knees for Harry, sucking his cock while looking at him with his big blue eyes. The sounds he’d make, god. They hadn’t properly fucked, but they had definitely done other things and Harry had realized how <em>loud </em>Louis was, whining, and moaning, and even screaming sometimes.</p><p>It was easy to finish the scene after that.</p><p>Harry had wiped himself clean and gotten dressed and was just waiting for his check when Ryan walked up beside him. “Harry, do you have a boyfriend?” he asked.</p><p>“Uh,” Harry stumbled over his words.</p><p>“It’s just-” Ryan blushed. “You called me Lou? While you were- yeah.”</p><p>“Oh,” Harry widened his eyes.</p><p>Ryan giggled. “It’s fine. I too like to think of my boyfriend while I'm shooting, sometimes. I’m happy for you, he must be a great guy.”</p><p> </p><p>Harry had driven for two hours to get to the location Louis sent him, and he'd spent another thirty minutes to find a parking spot, but he was finally at Amarillo Beach, his sneakers dirtying up with sand, the smell of salt in the air, the sound of waves crashing against the giant cliff rocks.</p><p>The film crew was easy to spot, a large number of people carrying microphones, cameras, tripods, lights, and other types of production equipment. Harry took it all in for a minute, at some point in his life he’d imagined himself at the center of a situation like this– an entire crew ready to produce one of his screenplays, making one of his ideas come to life.</p><p>Louis was chasing some guy around with a bottle in hand, laughing maniacally as he tried to get the other guy wet. Harry smiled fondly. During, on the past couple of weeks, Louis had morphed into a happier and more mischievous person.</p><p>“Harry!” Louis said when he spotted him and ran towards him to best of his ability, his feet slipping off the sand, showing off half of his legs in a pair of jean shorts. People around them paid them no mind.</p><p>Harry pecked Louis on the lips. “Hi, baby. Why are you terrorizing your crew members?”</p><p>“Oh, that’s just Luke, he had it coming.” Louis had returned to work just a week ago. It meant they got to spend a little less time together, but it was worth it for the way Louis came home with a bright smile after work. </p><p>A guy came near them and bumped into Louis’ side. “Ah, yes,” Louis said. “Harry, this is Liam. My co-worker and friend.”</p><p>“Hi, man.” Liam shook Harry’s hand firmly with a smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard all about you.”</p><p>“Likewise.” Harry smiled. Louis looked between the two of them, a satisfied smile on his face.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Louis patted Liam's arm before he walked towards the director, a bounce in his step.</p><p>Liam hugged Harry, unexpectedly. “Listen man,” Liam said in his ear, his friendly voice gone. “I have no issues with you doing porn, but I want you to know Louis is like a brother to me and if you break his heart, I’ll break your face.” Liam patted him on the back.</p><p>Harry nodded, unsure of how to react. When Louis ran back to them, Liam’s friendly smile was back on his face. “It was so nice to meet you, Harry. See you soon.” Liam then hugged Louis goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>"God, I'm knackered," Louis said falling on his back, taking his shoes off.</p><p>They were back in their hotel room.</p><p>Harry chuckled at Louis flinging his sneakers in whatever direction of the room. Louis proceeded to do that with all of his other clothing items, taking them off and throwing them away, uncaring of where they landed until he was left wearing only his shirt and pants.</p><p>Harry wanted to be mad, but with a fond smile, he picked up the clothing items and laid them on a chair.</p><p>They'd only had a couple of glasses of wine, but Louis looked like he was a second from falling asleep, eyes half shut.</p><p>"Why Harry Clark?" Louis asked when Harry was in the middle of undressing.</p><p>"Uh," Harry hopped off his jeans. "You mean how I came up with the name?"</p><p>Louis jerkily nodded.</p><p>"Well, I knew I wanted to still be Harry. The issue was the last name." Harry chuckled to himself. "I was originally thinking of, Harry Hughes?"</p><p>Louis cracked up, throwing his head back. "What? Because of your huge dick?"</p><p>Harry laughed, bashful. "Well. Yeah. Niall thought it'd be cool if I called myself Harry Pounder? But I thought, no way. I'm not gonna have people stop me in the street asking me if I was Harry <em> Pounder</em>, god. So, I was reading this book one day, and the author's last name was Clarke with an e at the end, and so I just took out the e and that was it."</p><p>Harry slipped into bed with Louis, who looked at him with a smile and sleepy eyes. "Hmm, I think Harry Styles sounds more like a porn star's name than Harry Clark."</p><p>Harry laughed. "Yeah. You're not the first one to tell me that."</p><p>The room was dark except for the moonlight, and the TV. Only the sound of some Nicholas Cage movie and their breathing, Louis’ back pressed to Harry's chest. </p><p>"How did you- why porn?" Louis said quietly. "I'm not judging you, I just don't have an idea of how someone even gets into that industry."</p><p>Harry inhaled. "Well, when I was in college, my family was going through a hard time, economically speaking. So to pay for some things for uni, I started working. I started failing some classes because I was always tired, from having to work until 3 AM the night before. I had a friend who did some amateur stuff on PornHub and had a bit of a following. When he asked if I wanted to be in a video, I said yes. The first videos we did, I didn't even show my face." Harry remembered the videos, they placed the camera at an angle so you could only see his friend and a faceless body. "Turns out people really liked our- dynamic? So I quit my other job and just kept doing porn. It was easy, and I got enough money to pay for school and I could actually focus on passing my classes. I told myself it was just until I graduated.</p><p>So I quit after I graduated. And I started this internship at a production company. The pay was so low, I had to resort to waiting tables on the side to sustain me. Then Rafael, my current agent, apparently he saw the videos and messaged my friend and got my number. He asked if I wanted to work for actual studios, told me that I could earn $400 just for one shoot. So I didn't even think about it, I said yes, cause I was tired of being a waiter and it seemed easy, right? Fucking for a living. That's basically how it happened."</p><p>The room was silent once again except for the muted sounds of the TV. Louis turned his head in his arms, "What happened to the internship?"</p><p>"I quit," Harry said. "After a month of doing porn, I realized I was making a lot more money than I expected and I didn't see the point in staying there. I was learning more about film doing porn than I was at that production company, all I learned there were the coffee orders of the executives and how to use the copy machine."</p><p>Louis hummed, he looked dubious, like he had something else to say. </p><p>"You have a very pretty mouth," Harry muttered, staring at Louis' lips.</p><p>Louis smiled bashfully. "Think so? Want me to put it good use?" he caressed Harry's chest.</p><p>Harry snorted at Louis' coy face. "Baby, you look like you're five seconds away from passing out. I don't want you to fall asleep with your mouth on my dick. Too dangerous, have to take care of my goods."</p><p>Louis cracked up and Harry laughed and the atmosphere lit up once again.</p><p> </p><p>Harry woke up to the sun shining down on his face and a pull on his lower stomach. He felt heated, breath was more labored than he expected. It took him a second to realize something warm and wet was enveloping his cock.</p><p>Harry let out a guttural moan before he flung off the covers and found Louis staring up at him, mouth full.</p><p>When Louis saw him, he throated Harry deeper, until his nose was pressed to Harry's skin, throat contracting around Harry’s cock.</p><p>"Jesus fuck," Harry let out, feet curling, his leg convulsing a little.</p><p>Louis pulled off with a pop and smiled haughtily. He crawled up the bed until both his knees were around Harry's waist. Harry immediately cradled his face and brought him down for a deep kiss.</p><p>Louis let out a surprised huffed of air when his back hit the bed and suddenly Harry was on top of him, pressing him down against the mattress with his broader body, sneaking a thigh between Louis’ legs so he could have something to rock his hard cock against.</p><p>"Baby, you enjoy being naughty, don't you?" Harry asked breathlessly.</p><p>Louis blinked up innocently, "Well, you didn't let me suck you off yesterday."</p><p>Harry traced Louis's pink lips with a thumb, he couldn't take his eyes off of Louis' gorgeous face, flushed cheeks, eyes a little red, long wet lashes.</p><p>"Huh? And you couldn't wait till I was awake?" Harry grabbed Louis's chin with one hand, and with the other he sneaked a hand inside Louis's underwear, gripping his dick firmly. Louis whined. "You just wanted to suck cock that much, baby? Is that it?"</p><p>"Not just any cock," Louis tried squirming but Harry was far heavier and stronger than him, holding him down. "<em>Your </em> cock."</p><p>Harry closed his eyes, blood rushed to his crotch. He gripped Louis' chin firmer, "You really know what to tell a man to get him hard, don't you baby?"</p><p>Harry loved it when his partners were smaller than him, not just shorter, and Louis was the perfect combination of both. It made him feel heady with lust. Like he had to be careful with Louis, but at the same time, it made him think how easy it'd be to just manhandle Louis' body, strip him off and push him down on his cock without Harry breaking a sweat.</p><p>Harry stopped stroking Louis’s cock to sneak his hand further down, cupping Louis’ soft balls before two of his fingers brushed drily over Louis' hole. A whole-body shudder went through Louis and his gripped Harry's forearm.</p><p>"That feel good, baby?" Harry asked. He waited for Louis to breathe out a yes before doing it again, feeling around Louis' little hole with tentative fingers. He couldn't do more, not until he got the lube bottle he had brought with him in his suitcase. "Will you be a good boy, baby, and not touch yourself while I get the lube?"</p><p>Louis nodded furiously. Harry went over to his suitcase to get the lube and a condom. He saw Louis from the corner of his eye, taking off his shirt and boxers before laying down on the bed again.</p><p>Harry took a second to appreciate the view. Louis had a wonderful body, all golden soft skin, pink little nipples, small waist, laying down on top of white rumpled sheets. Harry couldn't wait to see him cry in pleasure.</p><p>Harry got back on the bed and lifted Louis' chin up to kiss him, rougher this time. Louis' mouth parted without much prodding, and Harry slipped down his tongue, making sure Louis tasted him. Louis let out a soft whimper that went straight to Harry's cock. "Want my fingers, baby?”</p><p>“Yes,” Louis breathed out, biting his lower lip.</p><p>Harry slicked up his fingers before pressing three of them against Louis’ entrance, to feel around and get Louis wet. He kissed Louis’ gasp away and as he pressed the first finger inside, he continued to kiss down Louis’s jaw, making sure to leave some light marks,  not enough to make Louis’ coworkers think he’s been mauled, but enough so that you could see a fading red on the side of his jawbone.</p><p>“Tell me how you’re feeling baby, do you want another one?” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear.</p><p>“Feels good,” Louis slurred. “Yes, want another one.”</p><p>Harry pressed a smile against Louis’s neck, he felt giddy with affection. He pressed another finger in. It went in with a little more resistance than the first one. Louis felt hot and impossibly tight around Harry’s fingers. It made Harry delirious just thinking about slipping his cock inside, replacing his long fingers with his even bigger cock.</p><p>Louis whimpered when Harry rubbed his prostate, just a tiny bit while sucking bruises into his neck. “If you keep doing that,” Louis panted. “I’m gonna come before you even get in.”</p><p>“That’s fine, baby.” Harry inserted a third finger, Louis’s breath hitched. “You can come two times.”</p><p>Louis laughed faintly before moaning. “Not all of us have your porn-star stamina.”</p><p>Harry chuckled, while he continued to move his fingers inside of Louis, making sure he was well opened and prepared for Harry. He reached for the bottle of lube to squirt some more.</p><p>Harry thrust them in and out slowly, rubbing at Louis’ walls, listening to Louis’ breathing. This wasn’t the first time he fingered him, but it was the first time he was fingering Louis with the intention to fuck him, and while Harry considered himself a humble man, he knew what he was packing, and he knew he couldn’t skip this part of the process. He felt Louis start to relax around his fingers, body going malleable.</p><p>Harry smiled pleased, listening to Louis’ soft sounds. He moved his face over Louis' chest, kissed around a pec before enveloping one nipple in his mouth. It brought the reaction he expected, Louis whined and grabbed Harry’s head with both hands, not doing anything but tangling them in Harry’s hair. Harry had never met a guy with such sensitive nipples.</p><p>“Harry, please,<em> please </em> I’m ready.” Louis panted pulling softly on Harry’s short curls. “I want it.”</p><p>Harry kissed him while he grabbed for the condom and slipped it down his cock with practiced ease. He squirted some more lube and gave himself a couple of experimental tugs while Louis’s stared at him with lustful eyes, raking his eyes all over Harry’s naked body.</p><p>“I understand why you wanted to be called Harry Hughes,” Louis said in a mock sexy voice. Harry couldn’t help but laugh, stomach shaking. </p><p>“Alright, baby.” Harry spread open Louis’ thighs and slipped between them. Louis pressed his legs against Harry’s hips while Harry slapped Louis’s hole with the tip of his cock before pushing inside.</p><p>Harry slid in slowly, Louis gripped his back, his short blunt nails holding on for dear life. Just a few weeks ago Louis’d told him he hadn’t had anything inside him besides his fingers in over a year.</p><p>Louis felt tight, warm, and wet. His nails were probably gonna leave marks on Harry’s back. Harry had never felt so much love for someone in his life.</p><p>Once it was all the way in, cock pulsing, balls resting on Louis’s arse, Harry waited for Louis to breathe easier, for his body to go a little looser around him.</p><p>“Are you okay, baby?” Harry murmured, combing Louis’ fringe away from his eyes.</p><p>“God,” Louis let out with a faint smile. “You’re really fucking big, aren’t you? You can move.”</p><p>Harry kissed him and started moving, slowly at first before picking a rhythm, hands gripping Louis’ thighs around him. People could hate on missionary style as much as they wanted, Harry had tried almost all of the positions in the book but there was nothing like being inside your partner while being able to kiss them and look into their eyes.</p><p>The sound of skin slapping skin and Louis letting out a stream of loud sounds that sounded like heaven urged Harry on, thrusting deeper and harder and faster.</p><p>“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” Louis whined, slipping one of his own hands down to grip at his cock. Harry grabbed it without thinking and pressed it above Louis’ head. He did the same to Louis’ other hand, arms stretched above, Harry gripped both wrists in his big hand.</p><p>“No touching, baby, you’ve already been naughty enough today,” Harry whispered into Louis’s mouth. Judging by Louis’ dilated eyes, Harry guessed Louis liked it. He’d previously told Harry he liked it better when partners took control and either way they had already established a safe word, just in case.</p><p>Louis’ hard leaking cock kept rubbing against Harry’s belly, and Harry could feel the shake in Louis’ thighs. “You can come like this, with my big cock inside your little hole, this what you wanted, isn’t it?”</p><p>Louis whined. Eyes rolled back.“Yes.” </p><p>Harry smiled and continued ramming his cock inside until he heard Louis scream in pleasure when he twisted a little to the left. So he kept aiming for that spot, feeling Louis squirm underneath him, legs going stiff around Harry’s hips. “Harry, Harry, Harry,” Louis let out in a high-pitched voice before coming, going impossibly tight around Harry, dick spurting out against both their bellies, some even landing on Louis’ chest and collar bones.</p><p>Harry exhaled and slowed down. He let go of Louis’ wrists. “There you go, baby. You’re so beautiful, the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. Coming untouched just from me being inside you. You're so good.” He cradled Louis’s face and kissed him. He was about to pull out when Louis gripped his back.</p><p>“You can keep going,” Louis said.</p><p>“Are you sure, baby, don’t want to hurt you.” Harry pressed kisses all over Louis’s face, hands feeling around everywhere he could, Louis’ waist, Louis’ thighs, his wonderful arse.</p><p>“I’m sure,” Louis gasped out, scratching down Harry’s shoulders, squeezing his eyes shut.</p><p>Now that Louis had come, Harry could concentrate on his own pleasure, he picked up speed and with one hand he gripped Louis’ chin and kissed him. It felt like Harry had never felt before, tight heat around him, Louis whimpering in his ear while he held onto him for dear life. Harry's stomach muscles spasmed, his balls contracted, he gasped into Louis’ mouth and came.</p><p>They showered together afterward. Bodies bumping against each other, smiling at one another while they washed their hair and stole kisses.</p><p>They went for another round, this time with Harry pressing Louis against the shower sliding door, holding him up, their bodies moving in synch while they kissed.</p><p>They ended up being 30 minutes late for breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>Harry fed Louis one honey-covered strawberry and Louis giggled. They were at the hotel's buffet.</p><p>The sound of a ring tone interrupted them from staring dopily into each other's eyes. Louis pressed his phone against his ear and held one finger up, he stood up and walked to an isolated corner.</p><p>It was only Liam and Harry, staring down at their plates while an awkward silence loomed.</p><p>"Harry," Liam began. "I want to apologize for what I said to you yesterday, that was rude of me. I just care a lot about Louis."</p><p>Liam's face looked genuinely ashamed. Harry nodded. "It's fine, man. I understand. I'm happy Louis has people like you, ready to knock someone out if he gets hurt."</p><p>Liam chuckled. He could go from looking threatening to look like a teddy bear. "I almost want to thank you," Liam said. "He hasn't been this happy in a while, it's like you brought the old Louis back, always joking and smiling and doing crazy things. I don't want to lose him again, I don't want him to get hurt."</p><p>Louis returned to the table shortly. “So, what were we talking about?”</p><p>“I haven’t told anyone this,” Liam said, elbows on the table. “No one knows this since it’s not official yet, but- in a couple of months my uncle will be retiring, and he’s appointed me to take his place, as president of the production company.”</p><p>Louis widened his mouth. “Oh my god, Liam? What the fuck, that’s incredible!” Louis stood up to go over Liam and hug him. “That’s what you wanted to talk about yesterday? Holy shit, this is so good for you.”</p><p>Liam patted Louis’ arms around him. “I’m- yeah, it’s great. You can’t tell anyone, though.”</p><p>Louis returned to his place beside Harry and held up his mimosa glass. “I’d like to make a toast,” Louis said, mockingly dramatic. “to Liam, for getting this amazing opportunity. Even though he’s gonna leave me all by myself.”</p><p>Liam and Harry laughed and clinked their glasses together.</p><p>“You’ll still have Luke, though,” Liam said, holding back laughter. "But I'm not leaving you guys tomorrow, there's still some paperwork to do but I'm very excited."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chicken-hawk.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis felt a rush of nerves when he knocked on the studio's door.</p><p>He didn't know what to expect, driving all the way to San Fernando Valley, to the building Harry had told him he'd be at.</p><p>A tall burly guy opened the door and barely spared Louis a glance before motioning for him to get in.</p><p>The set looked like any other Louis had seen. People around him were setting up lights, carrying cables and tripods with big cameras. Nobody paid attention to Louis, they were busy with their own thing. Chatting, speaking on the phone, drinking large ventis.</p><p>A guy bumped into Louis from behind, "Oh, hey. You're early, that's great. Tina already arrived, go get your hair done and we'll start the shoot in some minutes, alright?" Before Louis could correct him, the guy patted Louis on the shoulder and kept walking.</p><p>Louis shrugged and continued to stroll around the set until he spotted Harry talking to some hairy guy in a bathrobe.</p><p>The bearded guy noticed Louis first, and his eyes widened, "Shit, are you Mateo?" he asked cheerfully.</p><p>That made Harry turn around. The shocked face he made as soon as he saw him made Louis laugh. Harry opened his mouth then closed it then frowned.</p><p>"You're even prettier than the pictures, holy shit," bearded guy gave Louis a once over.</p><p>"I'm not-" Louis began but Harry beat him to it.</p><p>"He's <em> not </em>Mateo." Harry hissed out. "Louis, what are you doing here?" </p><p>"I decided it'd be interesting to come to see you at work since you've already visited me on set." Louis smiled,  bearded guy kept leering at him not so subtly.</p><p>Bearded guy nudged Harry's shoulder. "So, are you going to introduce me or what?"</p><p>Harry rolled his eyes. "Louis, this is Zach. Zach, this is Louis, my boyfriend." </p><p>"Oh my God, he's <em>your </em>boyfriend. Man, you really hit the jackpot." Zach punched Harry on the shoulder before he embraced Louis in a hug, nearly lifting him off his feet.</p><p>Zach's meaty hands held his shoulders. "Louis, let me just say, you're really attractive."</p><p>Harry tugged Zach back by his robe. "Yeah, yeah, okay." He slapped Zach's back, a little too hard.</p><p>Harry had told Louis he didn't have a scene to shoot that day, but he had been asked to help direct some parts of the shoot since the new director was young and new and had only gotten the job because of his rich, known porn director, dad.</p><p>Louis hung around the set while he watched Harry give out orders. It was almost as if Zach and Mateo were doing choreography, there was a level of coordination to their movements.</p><p>It was weird at first. To watch people have sex in a room full of people, taking breaks to move lights or microphones, but after some minutes Louis had gotten a little used to it. It wasn't that much different from filming a movie, he realized.</p><p>After the shoot was done. Zach came up to him, half sweaty and robe completely opened. "Louis, here's my card. If you ever want to give this a try, I can-"</p><p>Harry appeared beside Zach out of nowhere. "He won't give it a try, Zach."</p><p>Zach pouted. "But he's so pretty, he could totally get more views than that asshole Jonny. Not even a solo scene?"</p><p>Harry's smile was tight, he squeezed Zach’s shoulder. "Nope. No solo scene, nothing." </p><p>Louis still kept the card and thanked Zach with a smile. Harry introduced him to the majority of the crew and they were all very polite to him. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Louis squeezed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He felt a headache coming. He was alone at home, clutching his cellphone pressed tight to his ear. “How could he do this?”</p><p>“I’m not sure, Louis,” Melissa said on the other end. “Seems very sketchy to me. I don’t doubt he has some connections that allowed this to happen. I don’t know what to tell you, Louis. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Louis took a deep breath in, his limbs felt heavy, his stomach had completely dropped. “It’s fine. You moved because of your family, it happens. I’ll just have to find another lawyer now.”</p><p>“I can text you the numbers of some colleagues I know, I trust any of them will be able to help. I’m sorry I can’t do more.” Melissa said.</p><p>“That’d be great, Melissa," Louis said.  "Thank you for your help.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course. If you have any other doubts, feel free to call me, alright? Take care, Louis.” She hung up.</p><p>Louis let the phone drop on the bed, and for a couple minutes he could only stare at the wall, unmoving.</p><p>Just when everything seemed to be going his way, Bradley had to go and fuck it up for him like he always did. Louis didn't know how to process his feelings. He didn’t know if it was anger, or sadness, or frustration, or disappointment that bubbled up in his stomach and chest. When it came to Bradley, it was usually a mix of those four. </p><p>Louis grabbed for his phone again and scrolled through his contacts one more time. He’d have to deal with this on his own.</p><p>The phone rang four times before a friendly voice picked up. </p><p>"What's up, Louis? Is everything all right?"</p><p> </p><p>Niall walked into the outdoor cafe wearing a light blue suit, up until now Louis cad only seen him in casual wear.</p><p>Louis stood up to hug him hello and Niall squeezed him tight like they'd been friends for life instead of recent acquaintances.</p><p>They both sat down in a small table under an umbrella. The waitress came over to pick their orders and left shorty.</p><p>“I didn’t know you smoke.” Niall eyed him up when Louis took out a small box of camels and lit one up.</p><p>“I quit a while ago, but- It was either this, or getting drunk at 2 in the afternoon, and I had to drive myself here, so.” Louis flicked the ash off his cigarette and tried not to hit Niall directly in the face with the smoke. Some people around him gave him the stink eye. This was one of the few places Louis knew that you could smoke in, that had been one of the reasons Louis had decided to come here.</p><p>“Okay." Niall placed his elbows on the table. "So I couldn’t understand most of what you told me on the phone cause I was driving, but-”</p><p>Louis took out some files from his bag and handed them to Niall. “It’s my ex-husband," he explained. "He’s suing me over stolen property. He wants to take my house in Beverly Hills and my dog.”</p><p>Niall eyed the files with attentive eyes, fingers carefully flicking through the pages before blew air out of his mouth. </p><p>“He doesn’t even like dogs,” Louis said, taking another drag of his cigarette. He’d have to brush his teeth thoroughly as soon as he returned to the house. If either Fizzy or Harry found out he'd been smoking they’d probably get worried and start asking questions.  “He hated Clifford, he’d never touch him, claimed he had a slight allergy. Now he’s fucking suing me over the dog, unbelievable.”</p><p>“Louis, I’m gonna take these files to review the case. We’ll see what we can do,” Niall patted Louis’s hand on the table. “I’m glad you called me. It’s all going to be fine, okay.”</p><p>"I'd normally go to Melissa, she was my lawyer during my divorce but she moved out to Chicago a year ago. I didn't know who to call but I'd remember you telling me you were a civil lawyer and-"</p><p>"Louis," Niall reached out to touch his forearm. "Listen to me. It's all going to be okay. We'll figure it out."</p><p>Louis let out a shaky exhale and nodded. He was grateful that Niall had been so quick to pick up the phone, ready to help Louis in whatever he needed. He understood why he was Harry’s best friend. “Niall, I want to ask you for another favor.”</p><p>“Yes, of course. Anything.”</p><p>“Please don’t tell Harry about this,” Louis said. “He’s been a little- stressed lately, I don’t want him to worry him. Please.”</p><p> </p><p>Harry arrived at Louis’ home earlier than usual. As soon as he spotted Louis in the living room he marched his way and lied down on the large sofa between Louis' legs before burrowing his head entirely in Louis’ neck, nose pressed to the skin.</p><p>Louis put his Mindhunter book away and started to detangle Harry’s short hair with his fingers, humming. He was calmer now, after taking a Xanax pill, but the lawsuit was still on his mind. Bradley’s smug asshole face was still there, every time Louis closed his eyes.</p><p>“You smell like oranges.” Harry murmured against his skin before he took another whiff, his big arms encased Louis’ torso, his broad body pressed Louis down on the sofa. “How was your day? Have you eaten already?”</p><p>Louis chuckled. After coming back from seeing Niall, he had stuffed all of his clothes in the washing machine before he took a thorough shower and brushed his teeth, he'd dosed himself in Tom Ford and rinsed his mouth with Listerine twice.</p><p>“I already ate,” Louis said. “Fizzy and Michael made vegan lasagna, whatever that is. I can heat some for you.”</p><p>Harry had practically been living with him for a few weeks now. He woke up and fell asleep on Louis’ bed. Louis’ bathroom had Harry’s toothbrush, shampoo, body lotion and a couple of his perfumes. He had at least six changes of clothes stored in Louis’ closet. Harry went over to his apartment once a week, to do laundry and grab new clothes but besides that, he spent most of his time in Louis' home.</p><p>Louis didn’t mind, it had been the first time the house felt like a home since he'd bought it years ago for Bradley and him. They'd never bothered to decorate it properly or hang family pictures. To this day the walls remained white like a blank slate. </p><p>“In a minute," Harry said. "I want to lay a little more with you.” Harry pressed his head against Louis’ chest and closed his eyes.</p><p>“How was work?” Louis said. He had stopped massaging Harry’s hair and was now running his hands up and down Harry’s back.</p><p>Harry groaned and rolled his eyes. “At least no one puked on my dick today, so. Yay!”  Harry raised his head and looked at Louis. Louis tried to stay as still as possible, face unreadable. “I was thinking, tomorrow we could go to that Italian place you like, the one that has your name.”</p><p>“Oh,” Louis said, nerves started tickling his stomach. “I can’t. I’ve got a meeting.” </p><p>Harry squinted. “I thought you were free on Saturdays?”</p><p>“Something came up.” Louis lied. </p><p>“Alright,” Harry said, he rose up with his two arms and leaned down to kiss Louis. “Next week, then.” Louis watched him walk towards the kitchen. “I’m starving.” </p><p> </p><p>Louis scratched the back of his neck and willed his leg to stop bouncing. He almost felt dizzy with nerves.</p><p>He hadn’t told anyone about this, because he knew no one would let him do it. He’d told Fizzy the same as Harry, that he had an urgent meeting with a director he was currently working with, and that he’d be late for dinner tonight.</p><p>Louis took a sip out of his decaf and glanced around the Starbucks place he had picked, small and far away from where he knew Harry would be at this shooting at this hour. He checked his clock, Bradley was 30 minutes late. </p><p>Yesterday he had faked confidence over the phone, spoken to him with a disdained tone. But there was a huge difference between speaking on the phone, and meeting in person with the man that had broken his heart two years ago, the one that had stolen his younger years and had possibly cheated on him.</p><p>The door opened and there he was.</p><p>Bradley went over to the barista first, arrogance in the way he strolled, before he turned around and walked over Louis’ table.</p><p>“Louis,” Bradley said emotionless before he took a seat, legs spread, back reclined, crossed arms.</p><p>“Thank you for coming, Bradley,” Louis said. </p><p>He looked practically the same as two years ago, except for a few more white hairs. The crow feet by his eyes were barely there anymore, botox, Louis guessed. His appearance had everything Louis liked in a man usually, curly dark brown hair, sharp jawline, fleshy lips. But all Louis could feel was disgust.</p><p>“What do you want, Lou?” Bradley asked. </p><p>“I wanted to talk to you." Louis tried his best to maintain eye contact. He had practiced in the bathroom mirror this morning after everyone had left the house. "Bradley, I want to know if there was any way we could solve this without having to take this to court. I don’t understand why you’d do this, out of nowhere.” </p><p>Bradley laughed, mocking. “No way, Louis. I can’t believe that’s why you called me. I thought you wanted to talk about something else.”</p><p>He had used that same laughter on Louis plenty of times during their marriage. It brought painful memories to Louis' mind. </p><p>“But Bradley, you know I was the one who bought that house,” Louis tried to keep his composure, hiding his hands from view so Bradley wouldn’t see him shaking. “And what about Clifford, you don’t even like dogs.”</p><p>Bradley smiled. “You’re right, I fucking hate those furry things. But Tyler likes them," he shrugged.  "I’m thinking of gifting it to him or something.”</p><p>Louis went rigid at the mention of Tyler. It was almost as if coming out Bradley’s mouth had finally made it real.</p><p>Louis had pictured this scenario hundreds of times after the unexpected divorce. Seeing Bradley again. Asking him why. Why had he out of nowhere grabbed all of his things and left Louis without even a goodbye. Now that the time had finally come, Louis just wanted to up and leave. He didn't need an explanation. He just wanted this man out of his life once again and forever after that.</p><p>Bradley ignored Louis’ gaping mouth and drank loudly from his straw. “The only reason I came here is cause I thought you wanted to apologize,” he said, staring at his phone.</p><p>“Apologize?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Bradley said like it was obvious.</p><p>“Why the hell would I do that?” Louis hissed, barely containing his anger.</p><p>“Well,” Bradley looked up from his phone. “First of all, for being the one who ruined our marriage. Second of all, for dating a prostitute and tarnishing my reputation.”</p><p>Louis took a shaky breath, his blood boiled. “What?”</p><p>Bradley chuckled. “Oh, don’t be stupid Louis. You thought I didn’t know? Honey, Tyler saw you both, hand in hand strolling down the streets of DTLA. He also told me who was your new beau." He made a grossed-out face. "Like, I knew you wouldn’t be able to find a great partner, what with your personality and lack of affection but, a prostitute? You really went that low?”</p><p>“Stop calling him that.” Louis gripped his cup of coffee to avoid punching Tyler. He should’ve never come here. </p><p>“Well, that’s what he is, Louis,” Bradley said. “He’s someone who literally fucks for a living. He’s a. fucking. whore.”</p><p>It was like Louis blacked out for a second. His body acted without mental input. He grabbed the cup of coffee and hurled it in Bradley’s direction. Dark liquid drenched Bradley’s entire shirt.</p><p>The world around Louis went deaf. The place was crowded and everyone around him was staring. Louis wanted to say something else, but his actions had said enough. He calmly walked out of the place, ignoring Bradley’s screams.</p><p>Back in the safety of his car, he drove and called Felicité, the words flowed out of his mouth like a waterfall, telling her everything that had just happened. The lawsuit. The fact that he'd been hiding it for weeks. His meeting with Niall and now this.</p><p>“Louis, don’t cry. That’s just what the asshole deserved. Where are you?” Felicité asked on the other side of the line. Her voice urgent, worried. Someone in the background asked her what had happened and she shushed him, probably Michael. </p><p>“I’m fine, Fizzy.” Louis sobbed. “I just need to- I need to be myself, a little.” He hung up and turned off his phone, ignoring Felicité’s pleas. </p><p>Louis knew he should call Niall, nothing good was going to come out of this. Throwing hot coffee at the man who was suing him wouldn’t look good in court. He also wanted to call Liam, wanted his reassuring voice telling him everything was going to be okay before going on a rant cursing Bradley like he usually did. But most of all, he wanted to call Harry. Sweet, lovely Harry who had been nothing but loving and appreciative of Louis, a far better man than Bradley ever was. Than he ever could be.</p><p>Louis pulled over at a lonely street corner and just let himself cry. It was as if the tears he hadn’t spilled in two years, maybe more, were all coming out now. He didn’t regret throwing that coffee, though, he felt proud of that, even. He was overcome with a mix of emotions, the same emotions he had been feeling since he’d found out about the lawsuit. But he also cried because he felt stupid, he should’ve never married Bradley in the first place. He should’ve realized the kind of man he was before he did. Maybe things would be different now.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>“Niall hasn’t told you?” Alexa raised her brows then took a sip of her wine.</p><p>“No, I don’t think." Harry frowned. "I thought he was dating Cindy.” </p><p>Since Louis had told him he’d be busy today, Harry had chosen to drop Alexa a visit at her apartment. It would do him good. For months now all the free time he had he used it to spend it with Louis.</p><p>“Yeah, that didn’t work," Alexa said. "He’s been dating that dentist girl for a month now, Maggie? They look proper in love, too. Kinda like you and Louis, but Maggie’s ass is not as big.” Alexa laughed. Harry shot daggers at her with his eyes. </p><p>"Relax, Loverboy." Alexa rolled her eyes. "I love Louis. Love his bum, too."</p><p>Harry reclined further on the leather couch. “I can’t believe she actually called him...”</p><p>“Yeah, love’s not dead." Alexa cackled. "You sure you don’t want one?" Alexa gestured to her glass.</p><p>Harry shook his head. “I’ve gotta drive.”</p><p>“You can stay here if you want. It’s alright to spend some time away from your ‘baby’, you know.” Alexa said. Harry couldn’t even be mad at her mocking tone, he knew he called Louis baby far too much.</p><p>The sun was beginning to set, and it didn’t sound like a bad idea. Alexa stood up and went over the kitchen. “You’re hungry? I can prepare something.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure.” Harry grabbed the TV remote from the table. “You’ve still got Netflix?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Alexa said.</p><p>Harry turned on the TV, TMZ was on.</p><p><em> “It’s the first time they’ve been seen together since the divorce,” </em> A long-haired guy said. <em> “Of course there’s going to be tension.”</em></p><p>Harry chuckled, wondering what stupid drama they were talking about.</p><p>The screen cut to a shaky video of Louis and Bradley sat together at a Starbucks, they were talking and Bradley was smiling. It felt like a punch to his gut.</p><p>Louis’ words ringed inside Harry’s head. He had said he had a meeting with a director. </p><p>Anger clouded him for a second. Without thinking, he grabbed his jacket from Alexa’s couch and stormed off her apartment shouting a brief ‘I’ve got to go’.</p><p> </p><p>While he drove all the way to Louis’ house, Harry kept replaying the images in his head. How could Louis have done this? Lied to him to go talk to his ex-husband, of all people. The guy who had broken his heart. The guy who had been the protagonist of dozens of awful stories Louis had told him about.</p><p>Harry stepped harder on the gas and gripped the steering wheel until his fingers turned white, his nostril flared and his lips twitched. </p><p>He pulled over carelessly and noticed both of Louis' cars were parked in the driveway.</p><p>"Where's Louis?" Harry asked Felicité when he stepped in without even saying hello. She was in the dining room with Michael.</p><p>"He's in his room, why?" Felicité said.</p><p>Harry couldn't listen to anything else. He jogged up the stairs.</p><p>"Why did you lie to me?" Were the first words that came out Harry's mouth when he found Louis on the bed.</p><p>Louis sat up, face disoriented. "What?"</p><p>"Why did you lie to me?" Harry had never been really good at covering his anger. He rarely got angry but when he did- "Why did you say you had a meeting with a director when you were actually at a Starbucks with that piece of shit."</p><p>"I didn't want to worry you," Louis said, he held up his palms like he was trying to calm a wild animal. "There's more to it than it seems, I swear. I <em>had </em>to meet up with him. You don't understand. I didn't tell you because I knew you weren't going to let me talk to him."</p><p>It didn't make sense. None of what Louis had said made sense.</p><p>"I can't believe you went behind my back to meet with that piece of shit." Harry spit out. "I trusted you, Louis. Why the fuck did you have to talk to him? You looked cozy drinking coffee with him." </p><p>Louis frowned and stood up. "What are you saying?" </p><p>Harry shrugged,  at this point he didn't know what he was saying either. "Is there something you want to tell me, Lou? Have you been seeing him this whole time? Was I just a good fuck while things got better with your ex? Let's use the pornstar as a dildo while I fix things with my actor boyfriend. Was that it?"</p><p>"Don't you fucking insinuate that," Louis hissed out, his demeanor had changed. "You can fuck as many guys as you want and I have to understand it's because of your job. But I meet up with a guy once, to talk about something important, and you fucking lose it?"</p><p>The room went silent.</p><p>Louis pressed a hand to his forehead and let out a loud breath. "Harry I didn't- you know what I meant I-"</p><p>"No, Louis," Harry said.  "I know exactly what you meant. I'll show myself out, can't even look at you right now."</p><p>Louis yelled after him, but Harry was quick. He ran down the stairs and was out of the door in no time.  Before he knew it he was back in his car driving, fighting back tears and with a knot stuck in his throat.</p><p>
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</p><p>Harry hadn't been as honest during that GQ interview as he could've been. He had fallen for a co-star once.</p><p>He had been 23 and fresh in the studio-porn industry, the other guy had been 24 and was considered pretty much a veteran in the game, doing porn since he was 18.</p><p>Harry thought he was one of the most attractive guys he had ever met; small frame, long eyelashes, perfect cheekbones, and jaw. He was cheeky, pulled pranks on Harry and other crew members whenever he could, laughed maniacally on set. He had everything Harry had ever liked in a man.</p><p>They worked on several projects together because the public liked their chemistry on screen. </p><p>The other guy happened to be friends with big names in the business and it was no big deal when one of said friends offered to let them shoot at his private beach.</p><p>It had been fun. But mostly it had been urgent and intense. Fucking on the sand while the sun set, the orange sky above them. The sound of waves crashing mixed with their sounds of pleasure. Heated skin against heated skin, the soft warm drag of Harry's cock inside Anthony, and the rough drag of sand against their bodies. </p><p>They had barely noticed the camera trained on them the entire time.</p><p>After they finished filming, Harry and Anthony had swum in the ocean as a way to clean themselves and Harry had inevitably found himself with Anthony in his arms once again, and after making out for what felt like hours, their fingertips were pruny and Anthony's lips tasted like salt. They had found themselves tangled in the sand for a second time, this time without a camera filming them.</p><p>Harry had thought it'd be easy. Having a relationship and keeping it separate from their line of work.</p><p>But Anthony was careless. He fucked who he liked, even when there were no cameras filming them. It was all the same to him. And after months of hushed whispers by the crew and staying up at night, Harry broke up with him.</p><p>The heartache Harry felt right now was worse than that time. So much worse. It felt like his chest was falling apart. He had grown far too attached to Louis, had even dared to think about marriage and kids and forever. </p><p>After the seventh time his phone rang with a call, Harry decided to turn it off. He didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Not Louis, or Alexa, or Niall. No one.</p><p>He buried his face in a pillow and let himself cry. It almost felt like a hole had been dug up in his chest, right where his heart was. Tears streamed down his cheeks on their own. The image of Louis and Bradley talking seared in his brain.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Are you for real?” The director groaned out and stormed off the set. The entire crew was ready to start filming, Harry’s co-star had been hard and ready to go for thirty minutes now. </p><p>Harry had been trying to get an erection for what felt like forever, but the irritated glances the crew kept giving him weren't making it any easier. </p><p>After minutes of stroking his cock and looking at videos of twinks getting fucked on his phone, he gave up and went over to his backpack to pop a blue pill, the last one he had.</p><p>Since he had started dating Louis, there was nothing more effective than to picture him when he had to get ready to shoot. It made the job easier and even enjoyable, but he couldn’t do that now, not after the fight. If he pictured Louis right now he would probably start crying.</p><p>After several minutes, Harry finally managed to get a hard-on. His co-star muttered ‘finally’ under his breath before he rolled over onto his belly. </p><p>The shoot had been mediocre at best, and downright boring at worst. After collecting his check from a disgruntled looking guy, Harry left the studio. </p><p>When he got to his apartment, he didn’t bother taking a shower before falling asleep, even though it was only 8 PM.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>“Is there anything else we can do?” Louis asked Niall, it came out more desperate than he wanted. They were at his dining room, a handful of documents spread on his glass table. </p><p>They had been discussing the case for weeks now, and even if Louis was holding himself by a thread because of Harry, he had to deal with this problem first. The fact that it was Niall, Harry’s friend, made things even more difficult for him. He reminded him of Harry and the fight they had had. How Harry had stormed out off of his house. How Harry hadn’t picked up his phone in two weeks.</p><p>Niall tightened his lips. “I’m not sure, Louis. The assault claim really tarnished your image.”</p><p>A lightbulb went up in Louis’s head. “Say that again.”</p><p>Niall frowned. “I’m not sure, Louis?”</p><p>Louis shook his head. “No, the other part.”</p><p>“The assault claim tarnished your image?”</p><p>“That’s it,” Louis said, feeling like he had just solved a huge puzzle. “We’ve got to make Bradley drop the lawsuit.”</p><p>Niall still looked lost. “And how are we going to make that happen?”</p><p>Louis smiled, he felt giddy. “If there’s something I learned from Bradley after being with him for five years, is that there’s nothing more precious to him than his image, the way the public perceives him.”</p><p>Niall nodded his head, realization coloring his features. "So, what do you suggest? Do you have anything on him?"</p><p>Louis rushed grabbed a chair from his dining room and jogged up the stairs to his room. Niall yelled after him before his steps followed.</p><p>"Louis, what in the world-" Niall began.</p><p>Louis placed the chair in from of his closet and opened up the upper doors, he pulled down a clear plastic bag that was full of thing.</p><p>"What's that?" Niall asked.</p><p>"When Bradley left out of nowhere, he left some things behind," Louis explained, already kneeling on the floor and starting to pull out the discarded objects. A couple of cardigans. Old magazines. Work-out elastic bands. "I thought he'd return for them so I never threw them away and then I just forgot to get rid of them but-" he held up an old beat down tablet. "Aha. This is what I was looking for."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>By the fifth time it happened again, Rafael put him aside to talk to him.</p><p>“Kid, what’s going on?” Rafael put one meaty hand on Harry’s shoulder. “This is the fifth time someone calls me to complain about your performance, and now you can’t even get hard to shoot.”</p><p>Harry rolled his eyes. “Nothing's happening, I’m just tired.”</p><p>Rafael shook his head. “It’s drugs, isn’t it?”</p><p>“No,” Harry said, dubious to share information with Rafael. He'd been his manager for a long time but their conversations never turned that personal. “It’s something else. Some personal issues.”</p><p>Rafael patted him on the back. “Listen, I get that you’re tired, you can take a few days off if you want. But if this happens again, no one will want to book you anymore. You can kiss your career goodbye.”</p><p>Harry sighed and popped a pill before swallowing it dry.</p><p>While he was in the middle of shooting he had to stop to pop another pill but this one was for a headache.</p><p>Focusing had become such a difficult task while he was being filmed. All his co-stars looked the same. The positions were always physically taxing and he spent every minute in the studio waiting for the moment the director would yell out cut.</p><p>When he got home, he deleted the lost calls on his phone and went to bed. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Bradley and his lawyer arrived at the café surprisingly punctual. The place was quiet and almost empty. They took a seat in the booth.</p><p>“Is he going to throw coffee at me again?” Bradley asked as a way of saying hello, eyeing Louis.</p><p>Louis gave him a short smile, glad Bradley was a little wary.</p><p>“Why did you want to meet?” Bradley’s lawyer asked, face emotionless.</p><p>“We want to propose a deal,” Niall said. </p><p>Bradley snorted. “What could you possibly offer me?”</p><p>Bradley’s lawyer shushed him. “What is the deal you want to propose?”</p><p>Niall took out the files from his briefcase and handed them to Bradley and his lawyer. “We have done a bit of research and turns out we’ve got a lot of proof Bradley committed adultery. In the copies I'm handing you you will find messages between your client and several other men, the dates clearly show he had emotional and sexual relations with these men while he was still married to my client, unbeknownst to him.” </p><p>Once Louis had charged and figured out the password (Bradley's birth date), it had been so easy to log into Bradley's Facebook and Instagram. It had been a surprise when they had found out Bradley hadn’t just been seeing Tyler while he and Louis were married. He had also been talking to at least four other guys at the same time, and the messages were downright incriminating, seeing as they included sexts and nudes and even videos.</p><p>“We also spoke to people that worked with Bradley during the production of some of his movies," Niall continued talking. "and they confirmed your client had a number of affairs while married. They’re willing to say it on camera.”</p><p>Bradley’s lawyer looked pensive, glancing at copies of Bradley’s messages. Bradley still looked sure of himself, head held high.</p><p>“That’s nothing, you could have faked all of these. Plus, who’s gonna believe people from the crew?” Bradley scoffed.</p><p>Louis smiled. “Maybe, but I’m sure they’ll believe it from Tyler." Bradley's face dropped. "Oh, yes, <em> he’s </em>willing to expose you. It was so easy to sway him once he saw all the other guys you’ve been meeting up with, all of your dirty texts.” Louis chuckled darkly, he wished he could take a picture of Bradley’s shocked face. “And you called <em>my</em> boyfriend a prostitute.”</p><p>“The deal is,” Niall said calmly. “Your client either drops the lawsuit and the assault claim, or we expose his lying, cheating, ass. Adultery might not be illegal in California, but it sure can ruin someone’s image. Tell me, Bradley. As a washed-out actor, are you sure your career can survive this? When these images are leaked on Twitter and the hashtag #BradleyCaesarIsOver is top trending because Tyler cried on an insta live while millions of his followers were watching, do you think you'll be the same?”</p><p>Louis had never seen Bradley shrivel up and agree to something so quickly. </p><p>A day after that he dropped down both charges. Louis gave him the old tablet, along with his other stuff and he watched him drive off with Clifford by his side.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>After ignoring Niall’s calls and texts for days, Harry had finally agreed to meet up with him.</p><p>Niall’s house was impeccable as always, decorated succinctly but in a way that made the whole place look classy. </p><p>“You want some water?” Niall asked from the kitchen. “Or a beer, tea, coffee?”</p><p>“Water’s fine,” Harry said. He had been feeling nauseous for days and his whole body ached. Sofia had told him it was probably side effects of the Viagra he was consuming regularly. </p><p>Niall handed him the glass of water and sat opposite him, he leaned forward, hands laced together.</p><p>“What did you want to talk about?” Harry asked after downing half of his glass. The shoot that day had involved him holding a co-star against the wall and he was exhausted.</p><p>“Why have you been ignoring my calls?” Niall asked.</p><p>Harry shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “Been busy.”</p><p>Niall huffed. “Yeah, okay. The porn industry must have gotten harder for you, if you can’t even pick up the phone for your boyfriend, much less your friends.”</p><p>Harry bristled at the mention of Louis. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>It had been a couple of weeks since the incident. Time went by fast when the only thing he did was shoot and return to his apartment to sleep.</p><p>Niall shook his head. “No, Harry, I actually do. While you’ve been ‘busy’, I’ve been helping Louis with a lawsuit from his ex- husband.”</p><p>Harry stared at Niall and blinked a few times.</p><p>“Yeah,” Niall nodded his head. “You were right about Bradley being a piece of shit, he wanted to fight Louis’ for his house in Beverly Hills and even Clifford.”</p><p>“What are you talking about, Niall?” Harry frowned.</p><p>“See, you would’ve known this before if you picked up your fucking phone every now and then,” Niall said. </p><p>It all started to click slowly in Harry’s mind. That TMZ article.</p><p>“Then why was he having a nice chat with Bradley at a Starbucks in the middle of L.A.?”</p><p>Niall rolled his eyes. “God, don’t remind me of that. He was incredibly stupid for doing that behind my back but- they weren’t having a nice chat, Harry. Haven’t you seen the videos?”</p><p>Harry froze. Niall rolled his eyes and got his phone out.</p><p>The video started with Bradley and Louis talking, the same image Harry had seen on TV, the same quality, same shakiness. Suddenly Louis was standing up and throwing coffee directly at Bradley and storming out of the shop.</p><p>“See,” Niall said. “He wasn’t cheating on you, he was defending you. The reason he did that was because Bradley insulted you. And the reason he was there in the first place was to strike a deal with Bradley without you having to find out, he said you’d been stressed because of your job. He didn't want to burden you with something else.”</p><p>Harry still didn’t get it. Stressed?</p><p>“You’ve been so out of it, man.” Niall shook his head. “For a while, now. Not just recently. Maybe you haven't realized it, but it’s like every time I see you, you’re either tired or cranky or sick. And it’s all because of the job you have. You just won’t admit to yourself you don’t like it.”</p><p>Harry frowned. “What?”</p><p>“I’m sorry but it’s true,” Niall crossed his arms. “I wouldn’t care if it actually made you happy. But that never was what you wanted to do. Remember what you told me years ago? It was only until you finished your screenplay, and then only until you got your own apartment. And then you completely forgot about that. You continued doing porn.”</p><p>A surge of rage came over Harry. “You don’t know shit, Niall.” Harry grabbed his backpack and rushed to the door.</p><p>“I know it doesn’t make you happy!” Niall yelled from the living room.</p><p> </p><p>He drove home with guilt plaguing his mind. Niall's words kept repeating themselves over and over again in his head. The fight he had had with Louis. He had been so angry he hadn't even let Louis explain. Had he truly looked so stressed out and worn down to everybody?</p><p>When he arrived at his apartment he went straight to the kitchen to fix himself a bowl of cereal. He sat down to eat it in front of his TV to take his mind off things but he couldn't stop replaying Niall's conversation in his head.</p><p>He glanced back to look at his guestroom, he hadn't finished going over the boxes he kept there. He let his cereal half unfinished and walked over the room.</p><p>As for decoration, it was minimal. An old bedside table. His old bed frame. A quirky yellow chair from his college years that he used to stack books.</p><p>He grabbed one of the boxes he had hidden behind the door and sat down on the hardwood floors. He took out family pictures, his college yearbook, a trophy he had won once for the best-written script. </p><p>Finally, after taking out most of the contents in the box, he found his screenplays; various pages that had been sewn together. The last time he had written one of them had been two years ago, a sitcom set in L.A. based on his experiences as an adult performer. </p><p>He spent all night reading through them, a thrill went through his veins. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed writing. He relieved some of the scenes the character he had written about was going through since a lot of them were based on his real-life experience. His first studio shoot. His first heartbreak. That one time he'd locked himself out of a studio wearing nothing but a towel. It was the first time he laughed in two weeks.</p><p>
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</p><p>Harry was lost in his thoughts getting his hair styled when Rafael walked up to him.</p><p>"Kid, I forgot to tell you something," Rafael said in a low whisper. "Today's scene is going to be with Jonny." </p><p>As if he had been summoned, Jonny entered the set, sunglasses on, two new personal assistants behind him.</p><p>"What?" Harry hissed. "I told you I didn't want to work with him again, Rafael, do you even give a fuck about what I tell you?"</p><p>"Of course I give a fuck, kid." Rafael glanced around them, worried someone might've heard. "But he's the biggest in the industry at the moment. You can't be picky now, Harry, not after all the shit you've been pulling for months. We've gotta get your name out there again, and what better way than to do a scene with Jonny Wilde."</p><p>Harry ground his teeth together but nodded.</p><p>Once the cameras and lights had been set and they were ready to go, Harry excused himself to the restroom.</p><p>On his way, he heard Jonny snicker. "Oh, look, it's limp-dick Clark." </p><p>Harry stopped in his tracks. He had heard far worse things said behind his back, but it felt like too much after all that had happened. He didn't want to shoot the scene with Jonny. He didn't want to continue enduring things like these for a job he didn't enjoy. For a job, he had only started to do out of necessity.</p><p>Foregoing the restroom entirely, Harry spun and walked in the opposite direction to get his backpack. He discarded the robe he wore and started getting dressed, ignoring the puzzled looks from all of the crew. He kind of felt bad for them, this wasn't their fault.</p><p>"Kid, what are you doing?" Rafael approached him.</p><p>Harry bent down to tie up his sneakers. "I'm not going to shoot with him. He's rude and conceited and has no respect for the people he works with.</p><p>"Kid, don't joke around." Rafael laughed nervously.</p><p>Harry finished tying up his shoes and slung his backpack over a shoulder. "I'm serious, Rafael."</p><p>"Harry, don't do this," Rafael warned. "If you walk out of this shoot, you can forget about your career."</p><p>"Fine," Harry said and walked off the set while a bunch of the crew stared.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>The bell rang. Louis finished setting the dishwasher, wiped his hands and went to get the door. Felicité and Michael were out having lunch, they had invited Louis but he had declined.</p><p>Seeing Harry after three weeks of not knowing anything about him came like a blow to his chest. There he was standing in front of him looking tired, sweaty, dressed in his ratty sweat shorts.</p><p>"Louis," Harry said, smile hesitant. “I needed to - I came here to - uhm, these are for you.”</p><p>Harry handed Louis a bouquet of orchids and a pink box with a logo Louis recognized instantly.</p><p>Louis held himself back from smelling either gift, and stared down at Harry. He looked like he didn’t know what to do with his arms or legs, standing in different positions while he seemingly thought of what to say. The sky, that had been cloudy all day, finally started drizzling.</p><p>Louis sighed and leaned on the doorframe. He watched droplets fall on Harry’s hair, the grass behind him, the curbs. “What are you doing here, Harry?”</p><p>Harry swallowed, then looked him right in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I acted like a complete asshole. I should’ve let you explain yourself before bolting. I should’ve answered your calls. Niall told me about the lawsuit and the reason why you met up with Bradley without telling me.” Harry squeezed his eyes close, face pained. His hair was fully wet now, but he didn’t seem worried about it. “God I was - I had no idea. When I saw that blurry pic of you with him, I lost my mind. I thought you were seeing him behind my back. I have no excuse, absolutely no excuse, but I’ve just been hurt so many times that I-”</p><p>Louis swallowed the knot in his throat and blinked quickly. “And you think I haven’t? After all the stories I've told you about, you really thought I would go back to him?" he shook his head. "I trusted you, Harry. I thought you trusted me. Even when I found out you had been lying to me about what your real job was, I still let you explain yourself before jumping to conclusions. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t communicate with me, not again.”</p><p>“I know, I know, I’m sorry, Louis. You’re right.” Harry’s hands clenched by his sides, as if he wanted to reach and touch Louis but was barely holding himself back. Louis’ eyes started to cloud with tears, all the pain and sadness he had bottled up in the past three weeks coming back.  “I regret hurting you, so much. You deserve someone that communicates with you and more. You deserve everything. I will not blame you if you decide not to forgive me, but if you want to give this a try again, I promise not to act like that ever again. Promise I will be there for you and trust you and treat you like you deserve and I’m sorry. I just want to be with you.”</p><p>Louis wiped a tear-stained cheek. The rain started to pour increasingly heavier, so Louis moved to the side and finally let Harry in, closing the door behind them. Inside the house, it was quieter, and only their breathing could be heard.</p><p>They stood awkwardly, closer to each other than before. Louis' arms had started to go numb from holding Harry’s gifts.</p><p>“You promise you’ll never pull that shit again?” Louis stared at Harry’s wet face. “Cause I can’t go through getting my heart broken again. I’m serious, Harry, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you if there’s no trust.”</p><p>Harry nodded and bit his lip, “I promise.”</p><p>Louis heaved, “Okay.”</p><p>Harry smiled, “Okay?”</p><p>Louis nodded and Harry wrapped him in his arms, holding him up high enough Louis had to stand on his tiptoes for balance. It felt incredible, this type of physical affection after going without it for weeks, Harry was warm and solid, and he smelled familiar. </p><p>“We’ve still got things to discuss some things, though.” Louis chuckled. </p><p>Harry let go after a minute, but he stayed close to Louis, towering over him, looking at him with a soft, fond face and grateful eyes. Harry’s big, wet hands still held his waist.</p><p>Louis’ clothes were just as soaked as Harry’s now. “Let’s get out of these clothes,” Louis said and turned to the stairs.</p><p>
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</p><p>The carpet on Louis’ bedroom floor felt soft underneath their bare feet. Louis handed Harry a big fluffy robe to change into and both of them started stripping out of their wet clothes, leaving them by a corner to be picked up later.</p><p>Louis laid on the bed, and held the box Harry had given him. Harry joined him. They’d have to take a shower before falling asleep but for now, Louis wanted to enjoy a couple of minutes in peace with Harry.</p><p>Louis shook the box once, close to his ear, even though he was pretty sure he knew what it contained. Harry watched fondly as Louis opened up the box, more aggressively than it was supposed to be opened. A pleasant smell overcame the room and Louis grinned.</p><p>“Salty caramel, your favorites.” Harry murmured. “And that’s a sorry card.”</p><p>Louis took out the colorful card with a sad bunny image that read <em> ‘I’m sorry </em> ’ and then in sharpie, <em> ‘for being a jealous asshole’</em>. </p><p>Louis chuckled. “You bought me macarons, in case your apology didn’t work?”</p><p>Harry blinked. “And flowers. I was in a rush, I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure what you’re supposed to gift to apologize. But I can buy something else...”</p><p>Louis shook his head. “No, this is - thank you.” He brought a macaron up to his mouth and closed his eyes at the flavors exploding in his mouth. “Why were you in a rush?”</p><p>Harry’s face fell down. “I walked out of a shoot today.”</p><p>Louis frowned. This was the first time he heard those words from Harry. If he had learnt anything from dating Harry, was that he was extremely professional in his work and never one to back down easily. </p><p>“Why? Did someone do something to you?” Louis aked and his tone was a little more urgent than he intended, eyes roaming Harry’s face and body in search of any signs of harm.</p><p>“No, well - someone said something about me that was meant to offend me but, that wasn’t really the reason I walked out,” Harry started playing with the cord of Louis’ robe, avoiding his eyes. “I realized I didn’t want to be there and knew it wasn’t the first time I was feeling that, so I quit. I just walked out.”</p><p>“You quit.” Louis suddenly remembered what he had said to Harry when they fought, and the guilt he had felt afterward, calling Harry out for something he had chosen to accept. “It wasn’t because of what I said? Because if it was- I want you to know I didn’t mean it. I was angry and hurt and it really doesn’t matter to me what you do for a living as long as you’re happy. I don’t care how many people you fuck on camera as long as I know you’re coming back home to me.”</p><p>Harry smiled fondly a tugged Louis closer to him, hands warm on his face. “I know, it wasn’t because of what you said. You’ve been so understanding, and I really appreciate that.” Harry combed back Louis’ hair and looked him right in the eyes.  “I’ve been ignoring the way I felt for years, I convinced myself that that was what I wanted to do, what I enjoyed doing, but the reality is, it was never for me. I’d just been afraid of losing the stability, the routine. It was never supposed to last for that long, I just got caught up in it and the years flew by without me realizing. </p><p>“I finally had the balls to quit because I realized it was ruining my personal life. I was always stressed out because I dreaded going into another shoot every week. I hated the idea of being with someone else in a way I only wanted to be with you, even when I knew it didn’t mean anything. I hated being prodded and poked every fifteen days for an STD and I hated constantly being afraid of transmitting something to you. I don’t hate the industry, but I hate what it was doing to me and that’s why I quit.”</p><p>Louis inhaled and tried to process everything Harry had just said. He felt warm at Harry’s confession of only wanting to be with him but felt conflicted about Harry quitting. He felt happy about Harry deciding to do what was best for him, but he couldn’t lie to himself about the relief he felt about the prospect of Harry not having to have sex with other people again.</p><p>“I’m here for you, whatever you decide to do,” Louis said and leaned down to peck Harry on the lips. Because at the end of the day, it boiled down to that. Trusting Harry to make the best decision, supporting him in what he chose to do.</p><p>Harry kissed him back, lips gentle, holding Louis by the back of his neck. “I’m glad to hear that baby because there’s a possibility I’m going to be a lot poorer now. I still have no idea what I'm going to do next."</p><p>They took a shower after that, and even though it was hard not letting it escalate into something else – with their soapy limbs touching, bodies warm and soft against each other after not seeing or feeling each other for weeks – they managed to step out the bathroom only having made out a couple of times, with Harry intensely pinning him to the wall and desperately touching him all over. Everything was going to work out.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Money shot.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The only reason Niall and he were still friends after all these years was due to Niall’s patience and clemency, Harry was sure of that. </p><p>After fixing the issues he had with Louis, he knew the next thing he had to do was apologize to his best friend.</p><p>Harry stood at Niall’s door and tried to put into words how sorry he was and thanked Niall for having been so honest with him and ultimately being the one that pushed him to take his most recent life-changing decision.</p><p>Niall fixed him with a frown and arms crossed for all of a minute before breaking into a grin and pulling Harry into a bone-crushing hug, murmuring ‘you idiot’ in his ear. </p><p> </p><p>Niall handed Harry a beer and sat on the stool opposite Harry. “So what are you going to do now?”</p><p>Harry took a sip and shrugged. “I have no idea. Start looking for a job? I mean I have some savings but if I don't find a job soon I might have to move back in with my parents or something. Quitting so abruptly makes for a great dramatic scene but I do kind of regret not having planned it in advance.”</p><p>“Hey,” Niall patted his forearm. “It’s gonna be fine. You can always sleep on my couch, don’t worry about that.”</p><p>Harry chuckled. “Why your couch, though. Don’t you have a guestroom?”</p><p>“Oh no, that room’s only for my employed friends.”</p><p>Harry rolled his eyes. “You asshole.”</p><p>Niall laughed. “I’m joking, of course, you can stay with me. I’ll even let you use my shower.”</p><p>“Oh my god, what did I do to deserve such a generous friend?”</p><p>Niall cackled. “Wouldn’t Louis let you stay with him, though? Now that you guys have made up.”</p><p>Harry nodded, he smiled at the mention of Louis. “Yeah, he’s being really supportive. I still don’t know how I got so lucky. And to think I almost lost him for being so stupid and acting like a huge dick head. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if he hadn’t forgiven me.” </p><p>“You really like him, huh?” Niall asked. “You see yourself settling down with him?”</p><p>Harry thought he might love him. “Yeah, yeah I think I do.” He pictured waking up to Louis every day, not for the first time. “Anyways, enough about me, please talk about something else. Alexa told me you’re seeing someone new?”</p><p>“Oh,” Niall giggled, flustered. “Maggie. Yeah, she - she’s the girl I told you and Alexa about months ago. The one I met on Tinder.”</p><p>Harry raised a teasing brow. “The one that didn’t own an unclogger?”</p><p>“God,” Niall hid his face behind a hand. “Shut up, I’m still embarrassed about that.”</p><p>“Hey,” Harry said, smiling. “She’s a keeper if she still called you after seeing your massive-”</p><p>Niall slapped his hand, but he couldn’t stop laughing. “I hate you. Get out of my house, I regret forgiving you!”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Harry took in the venue. It had a beautiful bright green garden and in the middle of it a large pool.</p><p>The background music mixed with the sound of people chatting and mingling. The whole place was decorated with large posters of models wearing the brand’s clothes. Two billboards were placed on either side of the entrance, one of Fizzy and one of Michael.</p><p>His phone rang with an incoming notification, he rummaged his pocket for it and scowled when an email popped up instead of a text from Louis. He read the first sentence and immediately deleted it. </p><p>It’d been three months since he’d quit the porn industry and ever since dozens of companies and actors had tried to contact him for a shoot. It’d seemed tempting at the beginning, especially when he’d seen the amount of money that some people were willing to pay for one comeback video but he’d been adamant. He had saved enough money to not be desperate looking for a new job. </p><p>He knew he didn’t want to go back, not even as a director. It didn’t matter how many zeros they added to his check.</p><p>“Harry!” </p><p>He pocketed his phone and smiled at the sight of Niall and a tall, slim lady with long hair.</p><p>“I’ve been looking for you, this place is huge,” Niall said and extended his arms out. “This is my girlfriend, Maggie, by the way.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you,” Harry shook her hand. “I’ve heard lots of great things about you.”</p><p>“Let me guess, he told you about the infamous unclogger story,” she fondly rolled her eyes.</p><p>Harry laughed and nodded. The two of them looked great together in their matching sportswear. It was only fair that for the GymBeast launch Fizzy had sent them all packages of the clothing line, the whole venue was full of people dressed in the brand.</p><p>“Here you are,” Louis grabbed his arm out of nowhere. "Oh, hi!"</p><p>The four of them exchanged pleasantries and it wasn’t long before Liam and Alexa joined them as well.</p><p>Once the sky had darkened a bit more they all rushed inside the building to hear Michael’s and Fizzy’s speech. They both looked radiant standing in the middle of the room in red and golden, body-hugging tracksuits. The place smelled like sweet pastries and had a luxurious decor. </p><p>“...This couldn’t have happened without the support of our amazing subscribers,” Fizzy wrapped an arm around Michael’s waist while her other handheld the microphone. "Thank you all for coming here tonight." The entire room cheered, full to the brim of avid watchers of their youtube channel. </p><p>“To GymBeast!” Michael held up a flute of champagne, he took a sip and leaned down to peck Fizzy on the lips.</p><p>The music returned and the night continued. Fizzy and Michael came over to them at some point to hug and thank them for coming but quickly went back to taking pictures with their fans.</p><p>Louis was in the middle of telling the story about the one time he broke his arm while he’d been location scouting in Peru when Harry excused himself to go for another drink. He made a line for the open bar and ordered the themed drink that included vodka. It was his second glass tonight but he didn’t need to worry about watching his alcohol intake anymore and he sipped on it easily, enjoying the sugary flavor.</p><p>His new job didn’t require him to look his best all the time or to be able to get hard on command. After having looked for jobs in various apps, and sending a few CV’s, Alexa had gotten him a job as an editor for a small company that her boyfriend worked for. It was okay for the moment, the pay was significantly less than what he had grown accustomed to, but he could work with that. After all, he didn’t have to pay for Viagra, antibiotics, tests, waxing appointments, and a whole lot of other stuff anymore, and he got to come home to Louis every night not being physically and emotionally drained.</p><p>“Pardon me,” a man suddenly approached him. "You're Harry Clark?"</p><p>Harry held back from rolling his eyes, of course, he couldn’t go a day without being recognized by a fan. “Hello.”</p><p>“I’m Howard Spencer, nice to meet you,” the man stretched out his hand. “I can’t believe I found you here, I’ve been trying to contact you for weeks.”</p><p>Harry winced, ready to turn down whatever offer Howard had.</p><p>“I work for Men’s Health,” Howard continued and Harry perked up. “We’re doing a piece on ex male-pornstars. It would be great to hear about your experience.” he handed him his card.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Harry’s apartment was alive with the familiar sounds of his record player playing jazz and the sound of Harry in the kitchen stirring something yummy on the stove. Harry had practically moved into Louis’ home by now but they still came here during the weekends, to do laundry and for Harry to have an excuse for still paying rent. Louis liked it better than his own place. Unlike his house, Harry’s apartment was vibrant with color and it smelled like his cologne. It wasn't as dauntingly large as his own house or as cold and empty.</p><p>“Where do you keep your detergent?” Louis shouted from the living room after loading the washer with dirty clothes.</p><p>"The room on your right!" Harry shouted back.</p><p>Which right? Louis mentally wondered before he shrugged, entering the room that was full of boxes.</p><p>The bottle of detergent was in fact right there in front of him on top of a shelf but so were other things.</p><p>"What's this?" Louis asked. Harry made an inquiring sound and turned his head from the skillet to glance at him.</p><p>"Oh," Harry raised his brows. Louis held up a golden trophy in the shape of two men kissing. "That's one of my GayVN awards."</p><p>Louis blinked.</p><p>“You do know what the AVN awards are, right?” Louis pursed his lips.</p><p>Harry shook his head with a smile. He turned off the heat and went over to Louis.</p><p>“The American Adult Video awards, baby,” he took the trophy from Louis’ hands. “Think, the Oscars but for porn stars.”</p><p>Louis widened his eyes. He felt a little dumb. “Oh?”</p><p>“Yeah, just some award show. The GayVN Awards are just like that just, well, exclusively for gay porn.” Harry examined the trophy, a lazy smile on his face. “This one’s for Best Performer of The Year.”</p><p>Harry slowly walked toward the room and carefully placed the trophy near four other identical awards. He frowned. The bright face he’d sported all day vanished.</p><p>“Honey, what’s wrong?” Louis took a few steps in his direction. He had never seen such an expression on Harry’s face. “Harry, are you okay?”</p><p>Harry took in a deep breath and it was like the whole apartment went quiet. “It’s nothing, I just- sometimes I think I shouldn’t have left, you know?” his voice sounded deeper than usual. “Sometimes it feels like this was the only thing I was truly good at, you know?”</p><p>Louis came closer and hugged him from behind at an awkward angle what with Harry’s back being so broad and their obvious height difference. “That’s not true,” Louis pressed the words into the cotton of his shirt, “You left because it didn’t make you happy anymore. You left because staying there was never what you truly wanted to do and you’re ready to start a new chapter in your life, yeah? You’ve got so much more to give and you’ll be alright. Everything will be alright.” They stayed like that for a minute while their breathing slowed down. </p><p>“I’m gonna have to reheat the noodles,” Harry murmured after a while, turning around and wrapping Louis in his arms. He rested his chin on top of Louis’. “That shit’s probably cold as fuck by now.”</p><p>Louis chuckled. He closed his eyes and let himself feel the warmth of Harry’s body.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Remind me again why people do these things?” Alexa asked around a stolen cake-pop.</p><p>“It’s a perfect excuse for a celebratory bash.”  Harry’s gaze followed a waiter carrying a huge ice bucket full of bottles, another waiter dressed in the same attire followed behind, but this one carried a medium-sized cake.</p><p>The invitees hadn’t arrived yet, including Louis - who had already told him he'd be working today. It was only them and the staff, who were currently finishing the last of the preparations. </p><p>“Props to Maggie for choosing this venue, though,” Alexa said, her eyes fixed on the extraordinarily picturesque view of the ocean which was merely some feet away from them. Her brown hair blew softly with the breeze. The venue was outdoors, with fairy lights hanging above. “Especially with such little time in anticipation, she must have some contacts to have reserved it.” A beat went by. “Where’s Niall?”</p><p>Harry chuckled and turned to rest his back against the rail. He considered the question for a couple of seconds. “Probably shitting himself.”</p><p>Alexa let out a honk of laughter. She slapped his arm. “You’re so mean!" She said and then, "I hope he saves that for his wedding.”</p><p>Harry laughed. “What if we get him that for his wedding, tho?” Alexa raised a perfectly lined brow. “An unclogger.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Alexa laughed so hard various waiters turned to look at them.</p><p>“I’m just saying.” Harry tried to stifle his laughter. People were going to think they were drunk. “There’s probably some fancy ones on Amazon. I think it would be poetic.”</p><p>“Can’t argue with that,” Alexa shrugged.</p><p>“Who would’ve thought out of the three of us, Niall would be the first one to get married huh,” Harry nudged her arm. “Always thought you’d be the first one to get wed.”</p><p>Alexa returned the nudge twice harder. “Hey, this is only the engagement party. I could still get married before him.”</p><p>Harry inclined his head. The word engagement sounded a little odd. It felt like just yesterday the three of them were still in college, complaining about professors and skipping classes to have breakfast and nurse hangovers. Years had flown by and they were all different but in a way, still the same.</p><p>“The real question is when are you gonna propose to little Lou,” Alexa pinched his arm. </p><p>Harry widened his eyes, taken aback. He stumbled over his words and before he uttered a real sentence, Niall’s parents shouted their name. Harry and Alexa straightened up and rushed to catch up with them.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t even know engagement parties were a thing,” Maura whispered to Harry and Alexa, eyes wide and looking behind her shoulder. It’d been a couple of hours since Harry had arrived at the venue and the place had steadily filled up with friends and relatives from both sides.</p><p>“I think she’s from New York,” Alexa chimed in. Niall’s mom nodded as it dawned on her. </p><p>“Hey!” A feminine voice called out and everyone on the table turned around to see Maggie and an elderly couple walk up to them. Judging by the straight dark hair and brown eyes they all sported, it was obvious they were related. Niall suddenly appeared beside Maggie, dressed up in a pastel pink suit that matched Maggie’s dress. If Harry hadn’t known him for nearly ten years he wouldn’t be able to tell he was nervous.</p><p>The families exchanged pleasantries and hugs before they sat down in their respective places. The conversation flew smoothly after some minutes as they all shared anecdotes and complimented each other. Harry excused himself to get a drink just when Alexa received a call from her boyfriend.</p><p>He walked to the bar with a bounce in his step, enjoying the band that was playing Summer Wind. He thanked the bartender for the drink and sat on a stool, a smile crept on his face at the sight of Niall laughing and smiling with his future in-laws. </p><p>The flower print of Maggie’s dress reminded him of Rafael. He looked up at the sky that slowly turned orange and sighed. A week after he quit, Rafael had shot him a call to ask him if he had reconsidered his decision. His response had been a quick ‘okay, cool.”.</p><p>He swirled the fruity drink in his glass and took a sip. He glanced at his phone for the hour and pursed his lips when he realized it was still early. When he raised his head up again, his breath was punched out of his chest.</p><p>Louis walked towards him dressed in a maroon suit that fitted him perfectly, he looked so gorgeous Harry almost didn’t see Fizzy and Michael walking behind him.</p><p>“Hi,” Louis wrapped his arms around his neck and pecked him on the lips. </p><p>“But-” Harry started, entranced by Louis’ blue eyes and his soft fringe. “I thought you had work?”</p><p>Louis smiled. “Told them I had an important event today that I couldn’t miss.”</p><p>Harry gawked. </p><p>“Hmm, what are you drinking?” Louis stole his glass and took a sip. Nodding appreciatively.</p><p> </p><p>Harry clinked a glass carefully and waited for the band to stop playing before he took in a deep breath. For someone who used to fuck in front of a dozen people for a living, his hands shook a little as he stared at fifty guests. “I want to say a couple of words,” he swallowed and snuck a glance at a smiling Louis by his side. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell the unclogger story,” people turned to look at each other with confused eyes. Niall tried to smile. “I’m saving that one for the wedding,” he winked. Niall and Maggie laughed. “No, but I just wanted to say, Niall and I have been best friends for years. I’ve never met a man as intelligent, funny, and supportive. He’s been there for me always and I’m glad he’s found someone just as incredible as he is to share his life with. To Maggie and Niall, congrats on your engagement!” He held up his glass, everyone cheered and the music started up again.</p><p>Later that night as the orange sky slowly started to turn black, Louis rested his cheek on his shoulder and they swayed together to a slow rendition of Nat King Cole’s Unforgettable.</p><p>“That was a nice speech,” Louis murmured into his chest. Several couples surrounded them as they all danced to the saxophone and the melodic voice of the singer as he sang<em> unforgettable, in every way.  </em></p><p>“I reckon I was a little nervous,” Harry chuckled. “But he better prepare to cry during the wedding. He should’ve never made a screenwriter his best man.”</p><p>Louis laughed and pressed his cheek to Harry’s shoulder. </p><p>Harry tightened his arms around his waist as feelings overwhelmed him. “I love you. I’m so glad you’re here.”</p><p>Louis lifted his head up and tears welled up in his eyes. “I love you, too.”</p><p>Harry bent down to kiss him. He stopped himself after some seconds and pecked his forehead. Things were really getting better.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“I’m so glad I get to do this with you,” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear. Louis hummed, the pressure of Harry’s fingers making it hard to process any thought. </p><p>Just a few hours ago they’d both received their brand new test results through the mail, indicating that they both were free of any venereal diseases. It’d been a blur, the way Louis had jumped into Harry’s arms once he’d arrived home. Urging him to take him to bed.</p><p>“Harry,” Louis slurred out, overwhelmed by the way Harry’s body held him down on the bed. “Please, I want it so bad. Wanna feel you so bad.”</p><p>Harry licked his lips and slicked his cock right there, sending the bottle of lube rolling out the bed. “Wanna feel you too, baby. I’ve wanted this for so long.”</p><p>Louis shivered when Harry took out his thick fingers, he held Louis’ hole open with one thumb before he slid it inside.</p><p>Louis held onto his back with his nails. His cock spurted at the feeling of Harry stretching him open. </p><p>“You’re so big,” Louis blinked up, knowing exactly the words that always go to Harry. “My body is never going to get used to your size.”</p><p>Harry moaned out loud and just like that his hips were snapping with desperation.</p><p>“Love you, love you,” Harry messily kissed his lips.</p><p>Louis nodded, brows furrowed. The head of Harry’s cock slamming into his prostate made him breathless but what truly made him his toes tingle was the realization that Harry was fucking him raw. No condom needed. Just their bodies as it was always meant to be.</p><p>“Love you, too.” Louis’s breath hitched.</p><p>“C’mon baby, come for me. You’re so good, so precious. My angel,” Harry rolled his hips. “Can’t wait to fill you up. Been wanting to fill you with my come since the first time I saw you.”</p><p>Louis wailed as his toes curled and then he was coming, tightening up around Harry as his whole body shook.</p><p>Harry shivered just a minute after and pressed his balls to Louis’ ass as he came inside of him.</p><p>Once their breathing slowed down a little, Harry pulled out slowly and looked down. “Yeah, that’s what I wanted to see,” he said as Louis felt cum drip out of him. The expression on Harry’s face was enough to go for another round.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>"You did scare me a little, not gonna lie," Harry said, a flash of his first time meeting Liam popped into his head. He smiled when he stumbled on a boot he hadn't seen in months and wondered where the other one was. He shrugged and dumped it into the recycling box.</p><p>"I'm glad, that's exactly what I wanted.” Liam laughed and bit down on a piece of tape. “Where’s Louis and Fizzy, by the way.”</p><p>Harry continued to stick some folded clothes into the donations box. “They had yoga, but Louis texted me a couple of minutes ago saying they were gonna pick some food before coming here.”</p><p>Liam nodded.</p><p>"This is cute," He held up a framed picture of a smiling twenty-two-year-old Harry dressed in a graduation cap and gown with his family.</p><p>"Oh, yeah,” Harry chuckled at his hairstyle. Shoulder-length hair had been the worst look of his life. “thanks."</p><p>They continued to organize Harry's belongings and separating them into various boxes. He’d insisted on not hiring professional movers, even though Louis had offered to pay. He already felt bad enough about not being able to contribute the same amount of money to relationship.</p><p>"Hey, what's this?" Liam asked, holding up a stack of paper bound together and skimming through it with a raised brow.</p><p>“Oh,” Harry cleared his throat. "That's just something I wrote a few years ago." He waved a hand.</p><p>Liam nodded and continued flipping pages with attentive eyes. Harry tried not to feel self-conscious, he didn't remember exactly what he’d written years ago, but the general plot was based on real life experiences he'd had while living in LA and working as a sex worker.</p><p>"This is nice,  actually," Liam said after a few minutes. "Mind if I borrow it?”</p><p>Harry frowned before shrugging. Liam already knew about his past, there was no need to hide his experiences. “Go ahead.”</p><p>There was a knock on the door and Harry went to open it for Fizzy and Louis, he was too focused hugging Louis to realize it when Liam stuck the screenplay in his bag.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"The house is so pretty!" Anne told Louis for the fifth time today. "Who was the interior designer mastermind?"</p><p>"Well, Harry helped me choose some of the lamps and install the-" Louis started,  Harry hugged him close to his body and shushed him.</p><p>"It was all Louis," he said. Louis blushed to his side. </p><p>"I love it," Anne smiled and held Louis' hands in hers. "I know who I'll be calling when Jim and I finally move. We've been thinking about buying a house in Florida but Jim hates the heat and during summer-" </p><p>Harry tuned out the conversation for a second and walked to the living room where the large tv screen showed a countdown. </p><p>“It’s all gonna be good,” Liam came from behind and rested a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll see.”</p><p>Harry nodded. He felt unsteady, dizzy with nervousness. One of the main reasons he’d decided to invite his family and friends for brunch had been to take his mind off things, so he wouldn’t be glued to his laptop biting his nails while the announcement happened.</p><p>The sound of his mom gushing over Louis, Niall joking with Alexa and Liam chatting with Michael and Fizzy was enough to lull him. The people he loved the most surrounded him at the moment and whatever happened they’d still be here.</p><p>It’d been a year since they’d moved in together officially and so many things had changed since then. The new house wasn't as big as Louis' last Beverly Hills mansion, but it was larger than Harry's last apartment. After months of house-hunting they'd instantly fallen love with it.</p><p>The countdown on the screen reached zero and a grey-haired gentleman he vaguely recognized appeared on the screen. He read a succinct monologue about the importance of television that Hary mostly tuned out. </p><p>“...Which is why we’re here this morning, to celebrate the people who have excelled in the medium. Today a lot of people are gonna be thrilled to be getting their first-ever nomination.”</p><p>Louis rested his chin on his shoulder and squeezed his arm. </p><p>The house quieted down as they all gathered in the living room and listened to the stream intently. Once the host was done with his introduction, two actors appeared on the screen. Their brief monologue garnered a few laughs from the room but Harry was too nervous to chuckle.</p><p>Liam had been so helpful throughout the process. Explaining how nominations worked every step of the way. Harry had barely had to do anything and just let HBO executives make the appropriate decisions.</p><p>After what felt like ages, the tall brunette said “Our first category is the lead actor in a drama series.”</p><p>Harry smiled when he heard Joseph’s name be mentioned. His performance in the show had been outstanding. They couldn’t have gotten a better actor for the series, even if they’d initially been hesitant to give the role to someone inexperienced.</p><p>The hosts kept mentioning new categories and actor names, it was a blur of the same words being repeated. From the corner of his eye, he saw Niall nod a few times.</p><p>“Yeah, obviously,” Liam remarked every now and then when a well-known show or actor was nominated.</p><p>“The nominees for outstanding drama series are,” Harry’s ears perked up, he heard his heartbeat accelerate as the room got silent. “The Crown,” beat, “Pose,” beat, “Westworld,” beat “Dark Souls,” beat, “and Lidocaine and Palm Trees, those are the nominees for outstanding drama series. Congratulations.”</p><p>Harry let out the biggest exhale of his life. He felt like the whole room spun around as everyone erupted in cheers. They all patted him on the back and hugged him. </p><p>“You deserve it,” Louis looked up at him while Harry squeezed him tight. </p><p>It wasn’t a win, but it felt like one. </p><p>After ten minutes of just hugs and congratulations, the atmosphere returned to normal. They all got another drink and turned the music back on, the energy felt lighter and happier, there was more of a reason to celebrate now.</p><p>“I’ll be right back,” Louis announced to the living room after a while. “I’ll go reheat the quiche.” </p><p>Harry followed him to the kitchen and watched his every move with adoration. The lines of his body, his back. The way he just fit in this house, their house. The delicate way in which he opened the oven and slid in the baking tray inside.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Louis smiled and raised his brows when he spotted him. “Go out there, go celebrate the show you created is now Emmy nominated.”</p><p>Harry blinked slowly and took a few steps, “That’s really cool.”</p><p>Louis rolled his eyes playfully. “Yeah, what you’ve always wanted huh.”</p><p>Harry licked his lips and softly caressed Louis’ cheek. Louis furrowed his brows and then widened his eyes comically big when Harry got down on one knee.</p><p>“I told myself no matter what happened today I had to do this,” Harry retrieved a small velvet box from his pocket. “Cause it doesn’t matter what happens in the future, all I know is I want you to be there,” Louis sniffled as Harry opened the box to reveal a diamond ring. “I’ve never been so in love with someone as I am with you. Never met someone as kind, compassionate, and smart as you. Meeting you has been the greatest achievement of my life,” Louis’ cheeks were tear-streaked by now. “Louis Tomlinson, will you marry me?”</p><p>“Yes,” Louis nodded furiously. “yes, yes, yes.”</p><p>Harry slipped the ring on his finger. He stood up and caught Louis in his arms. He kissed him slowly, lips sliding against each other in a familiar way, and then kissed his red cheeks. Harry heard steps approaching and inquiring sounds followed by gasps as their guests took in the scene, he smiled. “This is what I’ve always wanted.”</p><p>
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</p><p>FIN.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can't believe it's finally finished. I hope you enjoyed.<br/>I put a lot of work into this and it would mean the world to me if you commented what you liked. If you read all the way through I want to thank you for your time &lt;3<br/><br/>Wall to wall: A series of unrelated sex scenes with no plot.<br/>Chickenhawk: a man who looks for young boys as sexual partners<br/>Money shot: The messy climax/end of the movie.</p><p>I'm @daddyharrie on Tumblr and @daddyharrie on twitter. Come say hi :-)</p>
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